噢 我沒有開玩笑 Yeah, I'm not kidding
這就是那個彬彬有禮的男士帶我來的地方 Here is where this type Elegant brought me
是的,你沒聽錯 Yes, you heard me
貓頭鷹餐廳 Hooters!
這是我離婚後的第一次約會 This is the first date I've been on since I divorced.
然後他帶我去了貓頭鷹餐廳 And the guy brings me to a Hooters
泰勒在睡覺 Is Tyler asleep??
哦 是的 Oh, yeah!
他沒有一直在睡覺 Not all the way.
他在幹嘛 What is he doing?
T恤著火了 T-shirts on fire!
他為什麼那麼唱 Why is he singing that?
好了 滅了 All right, it's all good.It's out
什麼 What's out?
我要回家 I'm going home
那真是個好主意 Maybe that's not actually a bad idea.
好了 計劃是這樣的 Ok, here's the plan
你十分鐘之後打給我 You are gonna call me in 10 minutes
讓我來告訴那個傻蛋 我有急事 So I can tell this fool that I have an emergency
你現在可以給我沖涼了嗎 Can you give me my bath now?
我還是五分鐘後打給你吧 Make it five minutes
給你點了一份水牛城炸蝦 Got you a Buffalo shrimps
醬汁在旁邊 平時他們就是這樣給我搭配的 With the sauce on the side, they』ll do that for me here
我不知道你想怎麼吃 I don't know how you take it so
你有沒有意識到 你都沒有直視我 You realize that you are not looking at my face now?
那上面有非常刺激的比賽 我不想錯過 A very tight game up on there, I do not want to miss it
-嗨 金 – 嘿 金 Hi Jim - Hello Jim
這裡 Here
心形芝士棒 Cheese Sticks ,in the shape of heart
我，班尼 蒂芙妮，布蘭妮做的 From me, Bunny, Tiffany and Britney
謝謝你們 泡泡女孩 Thank you , Bubbles
你們真好 You』re very nice
玩得開心 Have fun
嘿 我倒是注意到了 你剛才直視那些女孩兒了 Hey I noticed you made eye contact with Bubbles
但是她們在看哪兒我就不知道了 But I'm not sure where her eyes were looking at
那麼 So ...
你靠整理衣櫥維持生計 You organize closets for a living
是的 Yes
要找到不會自己整理 Is it hard to find people
衣櫥的人難嗎 who can not organize their own closets?
你們是怎麼找到的 How does that work?
不是他們自己不會做 Well it's not that they can not do it themselves
而是他們沒有時間或者不能高效地整理 They just do not have time or they don't do it efficiently
你是從整理手套格開始 Did you start with organizing glove compartments
然後一路向上 還是 And you walk your way up from there or ...?
抱歉 我知道我做的不好 I'm sorry, I know this is not going well
我有20多年沒有約會了 I have not been on a date in 20 years
我大四之後就沒約會過 I have not been on a date since senior year
你在大學就結婚了 You married in college?
是的 Yes
我也是 Me too
-真的 -嗯 -Really? –yes
這難道不是世界上最奇怪的事嗎 Is this not the weirdest feelings in the world right now?
和怪異科學中的怪艾爾一樣 Like weird AL starring in weird science
是的 我喜歡這句話 Yes, I like that
你忽然想到的 You just came out with that?
是的 Yes
太好了 Very good
你知道嗎 我想要吃一個水牛城炸蝦 You know, I think I'll have one of these Buffalo shrimps
蘸點醬 And I'll have it with the sauce
太棒了 Excellent
太辣了 It's hot
噢，我的天 誰做的醬這麼辣 Oh my God, who made sauce hot?
你喝了我的酒 Did you drank my beer?
不 我覺得應該是你喝了 No, I think you did
泡泡女孩們 班尼 布蘭妮 給我點水 Bubbles, Bunny, Britney can you get me some water?
喝點法國洋蔥湯 Have some French onion soup
跟你說 我很好奇 You know, I'm curious
那麼多可能的原因中 你妻子是因為哪一個離你而去 With so many possible reasons, Which one is the one your wife leave you for?
癌症 Cancer
對不起 Sorry
我 I ...
我很自然地設想你離婚了 Naturally just assumed you were divorced
沒關係 It』s Ok
我很自然地設想你丈夫飲彈自盡，所以 I naturally assume that your husband shot himself so ...
我們扯平了 We're even
我得接個電話 I must take this
你好 Hello
冷靜 Calm down!
有雪崩 在我們後院 An avalanche, in our backyard?
我馬上回家 I'll be home right away
抱歉 有急事 It's an emergency, sorry
20元應該夠付我的那半 20 dollars should cover my half
他用了你的借口 說有急事 He used the emergency excuse on you?
說的好像他是必須逃走的那一個 Like he is the one that had to escape
好像我才是那個很糟糕的人 Like I am horrible
好了，每個人都有失敗的相親 而這次是你 Well everyone has a bad blind date story and this loser was yours
誰安排的相親 Who set you up?
泰勒班上的一個母親 One of the mothers in Tyler's class
每次我見到她 Every time I see her
她就講她的朋友吉姆 she tells me about her "Friend Jim"
我說，我必須見見吉姆 Oh，I just have to 「meet Jim」
她是個騙子和白癡 She is a liar and an idiot
你應該給她下藥然後剃光她的頭 You should roofie her and shave her head
迪克 Dick??
你好 Hello
我方便啊 在工作而已 I can talk, I'm just at work
這下好了 Great
我知道 我很疼的 I know, I'm so sore
我也愛你 I love you too
好的 待會打給你 再見 Ok, talk to you later, bye
你剛才是不是對迪克說 愛 字了 Did you just use the L word with Dick?
我們昨晚就說了 We said it last night
珍 Jen
太好了 你為什麼不告訴我 That's great, why did not you tell me?
你知道的 你終於去約會了 You know, you finally went on a date
那麼糟 And it was so awful
我的意思是你會感覺更孤單 I don't want to make you feel lonelier than you probably already feel
實際上我很好 我一點都不孤獨 I'm fine actually, I'm not lonely
我生活中有兩個好男人 I have two wonderful men in my life
布蘭登和泰勒 Brendan and Tyler
布蘭登需要女朋友，泰勒需要鎮靜劑 Brendan needs a girlfriend and Tyler needs withering
你在旁敲側擊要用滾床單和毒品 You』re suggesting sex and drugs
來挽救我孩子 are the remedy for my children's behavior
我的天 這是我夢寐以求的裙子 Oh my God this is a dress I've been wanting for ever
什麼 What?
不 No
誰有那麼多錢 Who has that kind of money?
迪克 Dick
試一下 絕對的辣媽款 Try it on .This is totally a Milf dress
我們不試穿客戶的衣服 We did not try on the clients』 clothes
這是我們的賣點之一 It is one of our selling points
當我們整理你的衣櫥的時候絕不穿你的內衣 We won't wear your underwear while we are organizing your closet
我只是說說而已 I'm just saying
繼續工作 Back to work
我認為在這個衣櫥下面 I think right at the bottom of this shelf
我們可以放鞋和儲藏 珍 We can put shoes and store... Jen!
坎耶，來換寶寶的尿片 Kanye come and change the baby
諾斯尿濕了,我不想再帶她去照相了 North is wet and I don't want to drive her to camera again
脫掉它 Ok, take it off
不 No
看 這格的衣服甚至還都有價格標籤 Look, this whole rack still has a price tag on
嚴格來說，她還沒有真正擁有這些衣服 Technically she hasn』t taken the ownership yet
此外，她還在網球俱樂部 Besides she is at the tennis club
現在試試這個 Now try this on
這件衣服 能把被男人騙的女人變成 This dress can change a woman from the type of man she is on
誘惑男人的女人 To the type of man she is with
我要去小便 I am gonna go pee
貴的 貴的 Expensive, expensive
最貴的 Most expensive
我不知道你穿上會那麼漂亮 I did not know you are gonna look that good in it
寶貝 怎麼了 Honey, what's wrong?
我本應該更努力的 I should have tried harder
我本應該穿得更性感點 I should have dressed sexier
你沒有做錯 馬可就是一頭豬 You did't do anything wrong, Mark is a pig
孩子們不知道 Children do not know that
他們只是 They just ...
他們想要我們重新在一起 They want us to get back together
我不知道怎麼向他們解釋 I do not know how to explain it to them
是時候讓他們知道他們的爸爸是廢物 It's time for them to know that their dad is a big pie of crap
太鬱悶了 I get depressed
我必須穿性感高跟鞋 I need to wear high sexy heels
別跑步了 - 它有幫助 - Stop jogging - It helps
你要嚇壞我了 It's freaking me out
看 Look
我太滑稽了 I'm ridiculous
過來 Come here
我支持你 Jen got you
現在我明白了人們為什麼叫你衣櫥女王 Now I see why they call you closet queens
- 曬照片 - 發微博 - Instagram - Facebook
太棒了 Yes!
真是個爛借口 哥們 完全是八竿子打不著啊 It was horrible, man, there was no connection at all
我很高興 你想到了雪崩 I was so happy when you came up with the Avalanche thing
你救了我的命 That saved my life
她穿得像個副校長 And the way she dressed was like an assistant principal or something
搞得我覺得放學後會被留堂似的 I thought I was in detention
我有個女人介紹給你 –是嗎 I got a girl for you - Yes?
我舞蹈班上的金髮女郎 A blond lady, from the belly dancing class
有點微胖 A little bit on the process
但是當她動起來 那個波濤洶湧啊 But when she gets to move all flapping can make it happen
這個大塊頭的女人讓你感覺颶風來了那樣在動 That big girl hit that floor like a hurricane
我落伍了 兄弟 我再也不約會了 I am out , man. No more dates for me
我應該把時間和金錢花在女兒身上 It is time and money that be spending with my daughters
看！誰來了 Look who it is
嘿，拉裡 我的大明星 Hey Lary！ My own star！
- 來 擊個掌 –希拉裡 爸爸 已經夠糟了 Give me some – Hilary! dad !Which is bad enough
你打算讓我一直把手懸著嗎 Are you going to leave me hanging?
猜猜 有什麼好消息 新的科迪亞克帳篷到了 Guess what, the new Kodiak tents just arrived
正好春假時候 In time for Spring break
我們今年又要去後院露營嗎 We are going camping in our backyard again this year?
怎麼了 你長大了不想玩了嗎 Why?, Are you too old for that?
不 我班上的同學 No, it's some guys in my class
去弗羅裡達或科羅拉多 甚至是瑞士 are going to Florida or Colorado or even Switzerland
好吧 你們的同學都是高富帥白富美 Ok, you got a lot of rich kids in your school
我還能怎樣 我們沒有那麼多錢 What do you want from me? We do not have that kind of money
我知道 能去別的地方就好了 I know, but just be nice go some place
你知道帶她去哪裡不會很貴嗎 You know where you can take them and is cheap?
我的肚皮舞班 My belly dacing class
收起來吧 我說真的 Put that away, seriously
打擾了 先生 Excuse me sir
我是來拿我的籃球校服的 I'm here to pick up my basketball uniform
你剛才是不是叫我「先生」 Did you just call me "Sir"?
是的 Yeah
我是女生 I am a girl
那是個相當醜的女生 That's a rather ugly girl
嘿，朋友 那是他女兒 Hey man, it's his daughter
嘿，寶貝 你的數學作業怎麼樣了 Hey sweetie, how is your math homework coming?
補習老師有作用嗎 Is any of the tutor shortcuts helping?
你約會了嗎 You went out on a date?
約會 誰告你我約會了 A date? Who told you I went on a date?
你該換郵箱密碼了 You should change your email password
072099小姐 Miss 072 099
這是我最後一次用你的生日做密碼了 That's the last time I use your birthday as key
我不敢相信你竟然偷看我的郵件 I can not believe you read my post
布蘭登 我愛你 Brendan, I love you
但我們得學會尊重彼此的隱私 But we have to learn to respect privacy in this house another
吉姆是誰 Who is Jim?
他誰也不是 親愛的 No, honey
他只是個逗樂小丑 A jester
相信我 Believe
什麼事情都沒有 It was nothing
-你發誓 -我發誓 Promise? - I promise
嘿 不能在家裡玩滑輪 Hey no wheels at home
我說過的 Like I said
抓住他 媽媽 balo mom, dale
你和你爸爸是不是在回家路上去吃了冰淇淋 Your dad took you for ice cream back home?
-打他屁股 -巧克力雪糕上海撒了薄荷巧克力碎片 Give a spanking - Chocolate chip
-打趴他 -我站在了世界之巔 噢耶 Throw it down! - I'm on top of the world!
-哈哈 -你死定了 Yes! - You're dead!
不要再捏乳頭了 你倆調皮鬼 Stop twisting the nipples
人身上就兩個乳頭 Only have two for the rest of their lives
你們得尊重好愛惜好它們 They have to learn to love and respect them
我一直都這樣 I always did
我告訴你多少次了 How many times have I told you
在你送他回來不要給他吃高糖分的東西 Do not fill it with sugar before you drop him off?
別這樣 跟爸爸出去吃冰淇淋蛋卷 Come on, out with dad for an ice cream cone
可以讓孩子回味很久呢 It is a durable memory for a child
哦 好啊 Oh, ok good if
如果爸爸能花多點時間陪他 Dad spent more time with him
他就不用去一直回味這個了 The memories would not have to be as "Durable"
又被抓到了 和你呆在一起的時間真愉快 勞倫 Got me again, it's so nice spending time with Lauren
包不是放在那的 That's not their place
我們該怎麼辦 What do we do?
哦 糟了 它要爆炸了 三 二 謝天謝地 It will explode in 3, 2 ... thank God
太危險了 It was close
將近一分鐘的混亂狀態 Almost was disorganized for one minute
-你好 -你最近過得怎麼樣 Hello - How are you?
挺好的 泰勒星期六有比賽你要去嗎 Well, are you going to party Tyler on Saturday?
去啊 當然要去 Yes!, Of course!
太棒了 我要把你放下來 Great, I'll write down
你最在行了 It's what you do best
我是說放在板上 馬克 在板上 Mark on the Board, on the Board
勞倫 孩子不需要黑板 不需要你列清單 Lauren kids do not need a blackboard, need a list
他們知道可以指望我 就這樣 They know they can count on me, that's all
爸爸 你可以幫我完成作業嗎 Dad, can you help me with my homework?
噢 我不行 哥們 對不起 我有事要做 Oh, sorry I can't.I have to go to a "Thing"
問你媽媽吧 這並不能證明什麼 Ask your mother, this does not prove my behavior
你走了嗎 Is he gone?
-拉裡 你想要去打籃球嗎 -爸 Hilary? Want to go to ...? - Dad!
出去 Get out
你幹嘛不敲門 Why wouldn't you knock?
對不起 寶貝 我什麼都沒看到 Sorry, did not see anything
噢 真是謝謝你 Thank you very much
不 不 不 No, no, no
有大把好看的 There was plenty to see
我只是沒看見什麼膠體的東西 I just do not see anything weird
-碰個拳怎麼樣 -不要 What if bumped fists? - No
拉裡 我們都需要來一個 Both need
我們沒事了 We are good
嘿 這裡面什麼情況 hey,how are we doing in here?
我在和媽媽說話 I'm talking to mom
太好了 你們說了什麼 Great, what do they talk?
女生的話題 Things Girl
好吧 只是想讓你知道我也很會聊女生的話題 Ok, so you know me too I'm good with girly things
抱歉 等我一下 Excuse me a moment
謝謝你 爸爸 但是 Thanks Dad, but
我只想和媽媽說 I just want to talk to Mom
那行 那行 Sure,sure
代我向她問好 Greet her from me
我沒有貼紙了 I already ran out of stickers
你的臉也快貼完了 你怎麼了 Now you're out the face, What happened to you?
現在我可以和奧斯本一起玩嗎 Can I play with Espn now?
奧斯本想靜靜地呆著 Espn is on her time alone
和隱形的媽媽在一起 With Mom invisible?
是的 我們看不見 Invisible, yes
-只有奧斯本一個人能看得見 這不公平 -我知道 How can you see it? - I know
我真希望我能看到媽媽 I wish I could see her
我也是 Me too
來 木哇 Come here
-吃奶酪通心粉嗎 -奶酪通心粉 Macaroni and cheese? - Macaroni and Cheese
好的 Yes!
我是說 他在到處看 到處找你 He's looking around, looking for you
你明明知道是今天 我都標記在日曆上了 You knew it was today I put on the calendar
勞倫 開會的時間比我估計的長 你想我怎麼樣 Lauren,the meeting is longer than I expected. what do you want from me?
我只是想要你當好爸爸就可以了 我受不了了 You know what, I just want you to be a dad
你為什麼不去附近的小吃店 Why do not you go to the
問問有沒有鎮定藥賣 cafeteria to see if they sell "Tranquilizer pills"?
鎮定藥 "Tranquilizer pills"?
你怎麼不滾回九十年代 Why do not you go back to 1990?
你居然來看棒球賽 You are at a baseball game?
我要和迪克去神秘旅行 I'm going on a mystery tour Dick
聽起來很棒啊 That's great
我根本不知道我們要去哪 他太多奇思妙想了 I have no idea where we're going, he is so funny
我好激動 I'm so excited
接下來出場的是 23號擊球手 泰勒雷諾茲 Tyler Reynolds!
加油 泰勒 Well, go Tyler!
-加油 泰勒 -讓這孩子上場 go Tyler - This bat boy?
這是規定 每個孩子都得參加兩局 Well, everyone has to play
就算是他這樣子的孩子都可以上 Even kids like him
你最好閉上你的鳥嘴 Best you shut
要不然我把整個拳頭塞進你嘴裡 Or I'll put my whole fist in your mouth
那個投手多少歲 他看起來像個納斯卡賽車手 How old is this pitcher? Looks like a Nascar driver
-一振 -要不要這樣 -Strike - Come
沒事的 寶貝 振作起來 It's ok , honey.Shake it off.
噢 不 他要崩潰了嗎 Do not give you attack it?
不 他還有兩次機會 沒事的 No, you have two more chances will be fine
好了 我現在該走了 Ok, I better go now then
噢 對了 我需要休一個星期假 By the way, I need a week off
噢 好 沒問題 假期是什麼時候 Yeah sure, when's the vacation?
從今天起兩個星期 Two weeks from today
等一下 這可不行 Wait,no, that's not gonna work
因為現在是春假 我要照顧孩子們 It's spring break and I've gotta take care of the boys
-二振 -什麼 Strike 2 - What?
沒事的 寶貝 你可以的 It is ok sweetie, you got this
等這孩子出局的時候看下他會怎樣 Check out what happens when the kid strikes out
如果你不馬上閉嘴我會打死你 If you do not shut up now I will destroy you
他媽的混蛋 Fucking asshole
我還以為馬克會帶孩子們去漂流 I thought Mark would come to the game
噢 真是意外啊 他取消了 For variety, canceled
出差 Business trip?
現在我絞盡腦汁在想一個比那更好的計劃 Now I am racking my head to figure out how to compete with that
你沒辦法 沒時間了 You won't,there is no time
為什麼我們都要呆在家裡呢 Why not stay home?
你是世界上最好的夥伴 You're the best business partner ever
-三振出局 -我討厭死這樣了 Strike three - I hate this
我好遜 I suck!
天哪 又來了 Oh God, here we go again
也許你們應該試試羽毛球 Maybe you should try badminton
也許你該試試漱口劑 Maybe you should try mouth-wash
-除臭劑 -和睪丸酮補充劑 And deodorant - And some testosterone supplement
還有偉哥 And some viagra
我猜的 I'm just assuming
還要刮一下你脖子 And shave your neck
它好多毛 It is very hairy
什麼 What?
不 Not
該死的 Damn it
-爹地 -嗯 Daddy? - Yes
你想念媽咪的什麼 What do you miss about Mommy?
我想念媽咪的什麼 What do I miss about mommy
全部 Everything
我想念她的大笑 I miss her laugh
她的微笑 And her smile
我想念她遺傳給你的小鼻子 And I miss his little nose that she gave to you
幸好你沒有遺傳我的 要不然你看起來就會很奇怪 Luckily you did not inherit mine . Or you'd look very weird
是啊 Yeah
我想念我們每次看奧茲國的女巫的時候 I miss every time we saw movies
-我很愛那部電影 -我知道 - I love that movie - I know
她會給我們唱裡面所有的歌 She would sing all the songs to us
特別是那首 彩虹之上 Especially "Somewhere over the rainbow "
你知道我最想念什麼嗎 You know what's the most I miss about her?
什麼 What?
告訴她我有多愛她 forgetting to tell her how much I love her
你被允許對其他人做這件事嗎 Are you are allowed to do that with someone else?
我被允許嗎 Am I allowed?
你媽媽臨走之前 Your mother, before she left
一直在叫我 All she was talking about is
去找另一個 me finding somebody else
但我告訴她我不能 因為她是我唯一的最愛 But I told her I can't because she is my one and only
媽咪怎麼說 What did Mommy say?
你媽媽說 Your mom said
我的心很大 My heart is so big
大到足夠容納兩個人 that it has room for two
這是我想念你媽媽的另一個地方 That's another thing I miss about your mother
她真的認為我很厲害 She actually thought I was awesome
我覺得你很厲害 爹地 I think you're awesome, daddy
謝謝 Thanks
嘿 爸爸 額 Daddy?
我有些私事 然後我需要借你的車 I have a personal effand and I need to borrow the car
這樣 我不在的時候你還不能開 Well, you can not drive without me yet
而且必須有人在這裡陪著你妹妹 And somebody has to stay here with your sisters
爸 我有 私事 Dad, I have a "Personal errand"
那是什麼意思 你要去打某個人嗎 What does that even mean? Are you taking a hit out on somebody?
爸爸 她來大姑媽了 Dad, she is menstruating
-什麼 -我來例假了 What? - I have my period!
噢 我忘了你會有這些 I forgot you get those
珍珠衛生棉 Tampax Pearl
清洗液 清新氣味 Refreshing
含藥 和 甜蜜浪漫 Medicated and sweet romance
好的 現在我們還不需要甜蜜浪漫 Yes, let's not be doing this romance quite yet
體蔚女性清潔劑 Poisw feminine wash, Poise
體慰 這發音有點接近了 夥計 Poise??, That's a little close ,guy
永潔 Always clean?
其實我也能用用 I could actually use those
女神杯 是什麼 拿來沖咖啡的嗎 What is a Diva cup? Is that to make coffee?
我不明白 I don't know
你們用哪種的 What kind do you guys use?
-不 -你好 No! - Hello
不要告訴我 Do not tell me
-勞倫 -勞倫 Lauren - Lauren
貓頭鷹先生 Mr Hooters
吉姆 Jim
你的毛衣裡面有什麼嗎 What's going on in the sweater?
就是為了雜誌麼 Just for the articles?
不 其實這些是 No, these are actually um
給我的兒子的 for my son
哇 好前衛的媽媽 What a progressive mother
我在他床底發現一張裸體插頁 然後我把它撕掉了 I found a couple of pages under bed and I tore it up
雜誌上的 不是網上的 From a magazine? Not the internet?
他很守舊派 我很尊敬這點 It's old school, I respect that
你為什麼要撕了 Why did you tear it up?
因為作為一個女人 我覺得被冒犯了 Because I was a woman, I was totally offended
你不需要如此 這是成長中的正常階段 You do not have to be, it's normal part of growing up
好吧 但他把我們家保姆的臉部照片貼了上去 Ok, but he takes a picture of our babysitter's head on it
好 這就是病了 得治 Ok, that's sick. He needs help
差不多要成神經病了 It is on the verge of insanity
噢真好笑 如果你有孩子你才會明白 -三個女兒 Funny, if you had kid you would understand - Three daughters
這很複雜 Shit
你有三個女兒 You have three daughters?
是的 你還有其他小孩還是只有這個自慰者 Yes, do you have another child or just the masturbator?
他有個弟弟 He has a younger brother
啊哈 也許你能好好教育那個小的 Maybe you'll do a better job with that kid
我只是在開玩笑 I'm just joking
那怎樣 你準備趁他發現之前放回去嗎 So what? Are you here to replace it before the kid finds out?
是 但我不知道是哪本雜誌 我只 Yes, but I can not tell what magazine that's from, I just ...
你還有那張插頁的碎片嗎 Have some leftover image?
嗯 我有 Yes , I do
我 額 我試著粘回去 I tried to tape it back
做得很好 我幾乎看不出來 You did a great job, I can hardly tell
快照雜誌 Snapper Magazine
你怎麼知道 How can you tell?
從書釘的位置看出來的 From the the staples' place
還有紙張的質感 And the way the paper feel
而且我家裡也有一本 and I already have thia copy at home
要不要擊個拳 What if bumped fists?
沒錯 就是這本 Yeah, that's the one
聽著 我想有件事我們能互相幫助 Listen, I found that something could help us both
也能免去一些尷尬 And save some of our embarrassment
我帶這個去收銀員那 你替我拿這個 I'll bring that to the cashier and you bring this up for me
這是給你女兒的嗎 Are these for your daughter?
是啊 她15歲了 她的 好朋友 剛剛來訪 yeah,she is 15 and her friend just pay a visit
好吧 這個是給更年老的 朋友 的 Ok, well these are for a much older friend
那種呆在比你女兒的更大一點的 空間 裡 A much heavier friend staying in a much bigger room
的重量級 朋友 than your daughter has
你在說啥 You lost me
我知道你在說啥了 噢 You found me
-我能擊你的拳嗎 -不 Can I get a bump? - No
好 我們去結賬吧 Ok, let's do this
-總共13塊 -嗨 我是湯姆 They will be $ 13 - Hello, I'm Tom
-你的零錢 -嗨 我是湯姆 Here is your change - Hello, I'm Tom
嗯 你告訴過我了 yah you've told me
下一個 Next
我還記得用薄舒寶的時光 I remember these days
你肯定在做運動吧 You must be doing your exercising
現在 我需要六張這種疊在一起 Nowadays I need six of these taped together
好的 繼續吧 Ok, moving on ...
週六晚的瘋狂對吧 哈 小左手 Rock on Saturday hours, huh leftie?
不是我的 這是給她的孩子的 That's not mine, that's for her child
哦 真前衛的媽媽 Pretty progressive mom
是的 我也是這麼說的 Yes, that's what I said to her too
她很重視她的家庭教育 所以 She just takes it for home schooling , very seriously, that's why
我們能把這些拿走了嗎 Can I have those?
她要回家教育孩子了 所以 She has to go home with the child and get it started, so ...
保重 take care
好 If
嗨 我是湯姆 Hi, I'm Tom
十分謝謝你出賣了我 Thanks a lot for selling me out back
噢 她甚至都沒在聽 She didn't even hear about
-對不起 我緊張了 -噢 看出來了 - I am panicked,I am sorry - Oh ,I noticed
謝謝 Thank you
我不敢相信你有三個女兒 I can not believe you have three girls
你想說什麼 What does that even mean?
我只是沒法想像你身邊有三個女兒 I just can't imagine you have three girls
那就別想 Don't then
對不起 她們叫什麼名 Sorry, what are their names?
希拉裡 盧 還有艾斯本 Hilary, Lou and Espn
艾斯本 Espn
很特別 它是出自聖經嗎 It is unique, is it biblical?
不 No
依據我最愛的廣播網起的 Named that after my favorite net work
-不是吧 -真的 - Not - Yeah
-什麼 What?
很酷吧 Pretty cool
我的天 Omg
你的妻子一定是個聖人 Your wife must have been a saint
她是 She was
你的丈夫肯定非常冷靜地處理那個 Your husband must be very patient dealing with ...
芝士棒隊長的又一個迷人觀點 Another charming sentiment from Captain cheese sticks
你知道嗎 貓頭鷹餐廳 You know what, Hooters is
對你來說太好了 我不會再帶你去了 too good for you.I'll never bring you there again
好吧 那我可要學著習慣沒有貓頭鷹餐廳的生活了 Well ,then I guess I'll have to learn to get through life without Hooters
你一直都做得很好 You 've been doing a pretty damn good job so far!
這說不通 This doesn't make any sense
我沒意識到它們這麼大 I did not realize they were that big
噢 管它呢 Oh ,whatever
孩子們 很不幸你爸爸突然要去出差 Guys, unfortunately your dad had a business trip that came up
所以你們的漂流之旅只能推遲到夏天了 So your white water rafting trip is gonna get postponed till this summer
什麼 What?
我們就呆在這一個星期沒事幹 We are stuck here doing nothing all week?
我另有計劃啊 很棒的計劃 I have plans, I have great plans actually
什麼 比如打保齡球和去商場嗎 Like what? Bowling and going to the mall?
你怎麼知道 How did you know?
最好是爸爸 Bet that's Dad
也許他會帶我們一起出差 Maybe he'll take us on his business trip
嗨 你媽媽在家嗎 Oh hey, is your mom home?
什麼叫你媽媽在家嗎 你是誰 What do you mean "is your mom home"? Who are you?
我是吉姆 I am Jim
吉姆 Jim66@DSG.Com Jim? Jim66@DSG.Com??
這是什麼 約會電視台嗎 是的 你猜對了 What's this ?Dateline NBC? Yes, you got it right
你要幹嘛 What do you want?
我想和你媽媽談談 沒什麼大事 I need to talk to your mother, not a big deal
她說她對你沒興趣 Shw said she is not interested in you
相信我 指環王 我也對她沒興趣 Believe me , Frodo ,I don't like her either.
我得和她弄清一件事 Unfortunately I have to sort something out with her
布蘭登 誰在 Brendan,honey, who is at the ...?
嘿 Hey
吉姆 Jim
你說謊 騙子 你喜歡他 Liar, you like him
什麼 我沒撒謊 他是個搞笑小丑 What, I didn't lie, he is a buffoon
-我說過的 -別跟我講話 - Just like I said - Don't talk to me
永遠別跟我說話 Ever
不 親愛的 別這樣 No sweety, come on
好啦 Great
哪個是自慰者 大的那個嗎 Wich one was the masturbator? The big one?
你為什麼會在這 你想幹嘛 Why are you here? What do you want?
藥店的那個老傢伙弄混了我們的信用卡 The old bag at the pharmacy, mixed up our card
不可能 因為我的信用卡整理得很好 That's impossible because I keep my cards very organized
根據顏色 編碼 In fact I keep them in color ...
好吧 那我把它給回它主人吧 勞倫雷諾茲 你認識她嗎 All right,I'll give this back to whoever it belongs to. Lauren Reynolds?, You know her?
你見過她嗎 Have you met her?
哦 我的天 我不知道我最近怎麼了 God! I don't know what's wrong with me lately,
我覺得腦子越來越不好使 I feel like I'm losing my mind
進來吧 Just come in
等等 你怎麼知道我住在哪裡 So wait, how do you know where I live?
我谷歌你 然後 衣櫃皇后 出現了 I googled you and the "Closet Queens" came up
你是同性戀嗎 You are a lesbian?
不是 No
我們整理衣櫃 而且我們最厲害 所以我們是皇后 We organize closets and we're the best, so we're queens
衣櫃皇后 "Closet Queens"
也許是照片混淆了我 Maybe the picture was confusing me
什麼照片 What picture?
那些滑頭 Those little weasels
你的女朋友知道我們曾經約會過嗎 Your girlfriend ,does she know we went out on a date?
她會殺了我嗎 她看起來像個瘋子 Is she gonna kill me? She looks nuts
勞倫 Lauren
-她在這 -我需要和你談談 - Here she is - I have to talk to you
我從來沒碰過她 她拒絕了我 I never touched her, she repulses me
-什麼 -什麼 - What? - What?
珍 怎麼啦 Jen, what's wrong?
我和迪克分手了 It's over between me and Dick
-分手了 -我以為你不喜歡男人 Over? - I thought you don't like Dick
但你們剛開始用愛字 But you guys just started using the "L" Word
愛字 我明白了 你們是我猜的那個嗎 the "L" Word? I saw that, So you guys on that one I'm guessing?
不好意思 你是誰 你是來修東西的嗎 Sorry, who are you? Are you here to fix something?
你最好趕快去修 Because you should probably go and do that
我是吉姆 我不會對你造成威脅的 I'm Jim, I'm not a threat
-吉姆 -相親的那個傢伙 - Jim? - The Blind Date Guy
-你說那是場災難 -確實是 - You said that was a disaster - It was
-你說他是個失敗的胖子 You said he was a chubby loser
他是 He is
你沒提過他的聲音 You didn't mention he has
像喝了很多奶製品那樣沙啞 tha high phelgmy voice like he drinks a lot of dairy
-我知道 -女士們 我就站在這裡 我什麼都聽得到 - I know - Standing right here ladies, hearing everything
好了 我們的信用卡被調換了 Alright! Our cards got switched
-所以我們在處理這事 -迪克怎麼啦 - So we're just dealing with that - What happened with Dick?
他扔了個大炸彈給我 He just dropped a mature bomb on me
他已經結婚了 He's married
不 更糟糕 No ,worse
他有孩子了 He's got kids
噢 你還在這裡 為什麼 Oh, you still here, why?
你還是拿著我的信用卡 為什麼 You still have my card, Why?
等一下 你打算 Wait, you're just going
和他分手就是因為他有孩子 to break up with him because he has children?
5個孩子 5個 Five children, five
我是誰 朱莉安德魯斯嗎 What am I ,Julie Andrews?
我要縫出一樣的服裝 I'm gonna sew matching outfits
和唱歌來逃避納粹嗎 and sing to escape the Nazis?
他問我想不想成為其中一員 He asked me if I wanted to be part of the team
不 我不想 No I don't
也許你應該 Oh maybe you should just go on that
去那趟旅行 和迪克單獨呆在一起 trip and you know, spend some alone time with Dick
不 他希望孩子們也一起去 No, he wanted the kids to come with us
他想讓我在 有趣和中立的環境 下瞭解孩子們 He wanted me to get to know them on "Fun and neutral environment"
五個孩子 難道他姓西奧多波裡斯嗎 Five kids, is his last name is Theodopolis?
是的 Yes
難以置信 他是我老闆 That's incredible, that's my boss
他是所有迪克商店的老闆 我管理裡奇菲爾德的店 He owns all the Dick's sporting goods. I manage the Richfield
當然了 Of course you do
迪克僱傭很多有特殊需要的人 Dick takes a lot of special
讓他們去做 經理 needs people and makes them "Managers" Of something
這樣他們就有名片了 讓他們自我感覺很重要 So they can have a business card and feel important
真替你高興 Good for you!
那解釋了 解釋了很多東西 That explains it. That explains a lot
事實上我在衣櫃皇后那申請了工作 Actually I applied to work at Closet Queens but
但他們說已經有一隻猩猩填補了空缺 They said there is already a gorilla filling that position
【這是甲狀腺問題】 It's a thyroid thing
他準備帶你去哪 Where was he going to take you?
非洲 Africa
本來會是很美好的 看看這 It was gonna be incredible, look at that
沙灘 沙灘 遊獵 Sun, sand, safaris
我的天 Omg
他一定很喜歡你 He must really like you a lot
對不起 我完全不明白 Sorry, I'm not getting it at all
行了 我們的事已經解決了 Ok, and this concludes our business
謝謝 Thank you ,Africa
所以現在他準備自己帶著全部孩子去那嗎 So he's just gonna go there all by himself with the kids ?
不 No
他現在心都碎了 沒人會去 He's heartbroken now .Nobody gets to go
噢 該死的 Oh ,damn it!
他為什麼要共同撫養權 Why does he have to have joint custody?,
我以為都是媽媽得到孩子的撫養權 I thought the mother always got the kids
我是說 還有一個星期 我希望他能拿回他的錢 I mean... this is a weekaway, I hope be gets his money back
一個星期 A week out?
沒可能了 Not a chance
也許在非洲事情的運作方式會不一樣 Well maybe they do things differently in Africa
我忘了你是衣櫃專家和非洲退款政策專家 I forgot you're an expert in closets and African refund policies
趕他出去 Kick him out
別讓他這樣對你說話 Don't let him talk to you like that
滾出去 Get out
珍 Jen
如果能去一次這樣的旅行 我的孩子會願意付出一切 My boys would give anything to go on a vacation like this
西奧多波裡斯先生 你好 我是吉姆 弗裡德曼 Mr. Theodopolis, Hi! It's Jim Freedman
我不想像禿鷲般 I don't mean to be a vulture
在你感情的殘骸裡搾取好處 picking on the carecass of your dead relationship
但我想知道 But I wonder ...
你願不願意把你的旅行賣給我 If you would be willing to sell me the vacation
你原本要和鬼王姐姐去的那個 you were gonna go on with Freddy Krueger's sister?
我是說 我一直存錢一直存 I mean I've been saving and
但也沒辦法全價買下來 saving I could never give him full value for it
但拿回來一些總比沒有要好 對嗎 先生 But something is better than nothing, Right sir?
只有我們三個 It will just be the three of us
只有我們四個 所以我們只需要一間房 It will just be the four of us so we'd only need one room
我的天 Omg
等我告訴兒子們 Wait until I tell the boys
等我告訴女兒們 Oh, wait until I tell the girls
-我們要去非洲啦 -我們要去非洲啦 - We're going to Africa! - We're going to Africa!
我不敢相信我們竟然在這 I can not believe we're here
媽媽 這太棒了 This is pretty cool, Mom
是啊 Yeah
所以我做得很好嗎 比保齡球和逛商場好太多了嗎 So I did good? This is better than ,like bowling and the mall?
噢 是啊 Oh, yeah
非洲 Africa
太謝謝你了 謝謝 這太棒了 太好了 Thank you so much .Thank you .This is terrific.This is great.
-我了個 -布蘭登 What the f...? - Brendan!
我那個 在想他在這裡幹什麼 What the ,what is he doing here?
我們現在是家庭旅行了嗎 We are going on family vacations together now?
我完全不知道他們為什麼跟著我們來非洲 I have no idea why they followed us to Africa
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 這是個噩夢麼 Whoa ,whoa whoa .Is this a sick dream?
現在什麼情況 What is happening right now?
你在跟蹤我媽媽 You are stalking my mom
-你就是個捕食者 -嘿 - You're a predator - Hey
傻逼 別這樣和我爸爸說話 Do not talk to my dad like that, butthole
注意言辭 Language!
你別糾正我女兒 她想說傻逼就能說傻逼 How about you don't correct my daughter, she can say butthole if she wants to
-傻逼 傻逼 -我說的不是你 - Butthole, butthole. - Not you
歡迎來到南非 Welcome to South Africa
馬法納為你效勞 Mfana at your service
馬法納 Mfana ...
額 吉姆 我是說 迪克 Uh,Jim. I mean, Dick
迪克 西奧多波裡斯 Dick Theodopolis
熱烈歡迎 迪克 西奧多波裡斯 Welcome Dick Theodopolis
與你同行的是 And you are traveling with
一個小女孩 one little girl
還有兩個 and two ...
大女孩 Big girls
當然 Of course
你肯定是 And you must be
-帕爾默小姐 -是的 - Miss Palmer - Yes
珍 帕爾默 Jen Palmer
我知道你在幹嘛了 I see what you did
我也知道你在幹嘛了 I see what you did, too
你們準備好迎接人生中最刺激最興奮最浪漫 Are you ready for the most exciting, amazing and romantic week
的一周了嗎 of your entire lives?
是的 我們就是衝著零浪漫旅遊配套而來的 Yes, we are here for the zero romance package
你們還沒告訴孩子們吧 朋友們 You still haven't told the children, my friends?
告訴孩子什麼 Told the children what?
我有個新媽媽了嗎 That I have a new mommy?
馬法納 能幫我個忙 讓我們單獨待會麼 Mfana, will you do us a favor ?Leave us alone for just two seconds
意思是 當然可以了 Which means, of course
-謝謝 -好了 - Thank you - All right
聽著 你可以重新向我孩子保證 Listen,would you just reassure my son
我們沒有在約會嗎 that we're not dating?
我們沒在約會 We're not dating
我保證 I promise you
我不想每天早上醒來就看見這張臉 This is not a face I want to wake up to every morning
假如能這樣是你的榮幸 You'd be lucky to wake up to that every day
我媽媽超級性感 My mom is freaking hot
你剛剛是說你媽媽很性感嗎 Did you just say your mom is hot?
不 不是性感 No, not hot
那很不應該哦 That's just wrong
泰勒 Tyler!
快從那下來 Get down from there
我的天吶 求你了 求你了 求你快下來 Oh god,please please please get down
噢 天哪 Oh, my God!
跟我來 這邊 Follow me ,right this way
歡迎來到你們的家庭蜜月 Welcome to your "Family moon"
-我們就要這間了 -不 - We will take this room - No!
我們要這間 We want this room
傻傻的西奧可樂波裡斯 Silly Theocropolises
這是給孩子們的 This is for the children
這間是給爸爸媽媽的 This room is for the mama and the papa
在這裡你們可以創造出更多的西奧菠蘿慕斯寶寶 Here is where you make more Theopotamuses
對不起 My bad
這張床哪裡證明了所謂的沒在約會 What part of "not dating" does this bed fit into?
好了 你知道嗎 Ok, you know what?
全部站成一排 Everybody fall into line
布蘭登 泰勒 寶貝 坐到在沙發上 Brenda, Tyler, honey , I need you on the couch
希拉裡 西斯本 盧 Hilary, C-Span, Lou
艾斯本 艾斯本 Espn, Espn
對不起 艾斯本 Excuse me, Espn
對不起 寶貝 I am sorry, honey
我的天 Omg
迪克原本準備向珍求婚 Dick was gonna propose to Jen
全家人一起度蜜月 家庭蜜月 A family honey moon. A familymoon
你的蠢材朋友毀了這一切 And your dumb friend ruined it.
接下來這樣 Here's what's ganna happen
我們看到的第一間房 我們要了 The first room we saw, we are ganna take that
你和你的神經病孩子 留著愛的營地裡 And you and your deranged boys can have Wilt Chamberlain's headquarters
哥們 你吃什麼 Dude ,what are you eating?
櫻桃三角 Cherry Pan-ties
什麼是櫻桃三角 What are "Cherry Pan-ties"?
讓我看看 Let me see that
噢 不 Oh, no!
天啊 吐出來 快吐出來 God, spit it out.Spit it put
-為什麼 -吐出來 Why? - Spit it out
不能吃櫻桃三角 Just no Cherry Pan-ties ever
-吐出來 吐出來 -嘿 媽媽 - Out ,out,out - Hey Mama
我覺得這以前是消防局 I guess this used to be a firehouse
看看這地方 哇 Look at this place. Wow
你好 沙發多波裡斯先生 Hello Mr Snofadopolis
西奧多波裡斯 Theodopolis
你們好 Hello ...
姑娘們 Girls
姑娘們 她們是姑娘們 Girls, they are girls
第二次了 That's twice
走吧夥計們 姑娘們 Come on guys ... girls
23號 找23號 23 .We are looking for 23 ...
在這裡 There it is
-嗨 -嗨 - Hi - Hi
你們好 我想我們要和你們共桌 How are you doing, I think we are sharing the table with you
好的 嗨 Yeah, hi
我是艾迪 沃尼克 I am Eddie Warnick
她是金潔兒 沃尼克 還有我們的兒子 傑克 And this is Ginger Warnick and our son Jake
我們來自溫哥華 We are from Vancouver
好了 我是 你 的兒子 Ok, I'm YOUR son
除非金潔兒在6歲的時候生下我 她不是我媽媽 Ginger would've had to gove birth to me when she was 6, she is not my mom
好啊 告訴所有人吧 Ok, get it out there for every one
分享出來 表達出來 不要壓抑 Sharing it, loving it,no holding back
這樣很好 That's good
好 我們做我們的事 All right,let's do our thing, come on
這個地方是不是很贊 Isn't this place fantastic?
很浪漫 So romantic
是的 我們會在這玩得很開心 Good, gonna have a nice trip here
-額 爸爸 -我應該坐哪兒 - Um ,dad? - Where should I sit?
你想坐哪就坐哪 You can sit anywhere you want
那媽媽呢 她坐哪裡 What about Mom? Where is she sitting?
你想她在哪兒 Where do you want her to sit?
在我旁邊 Next to me?
那她就坐你旁邊 坐吧 你坐在盧旁邊 Then that's where she'll sit. Go ahead,you get right next to Lou
你媽媽就在那 Your mom's right there
好嗎 OK?
好的 All good
忽略他們 忽略奇怪的事 Ignore it, ignore the weirdness
葬禮在哪兒啊 男孩們 Where's the funeral at, boys?
高爾夫球巡迴賽在哪兒啊 姑娘們 Where is the golf tournament at, girls?
噢 不 不 不 Oh no, no, no
馬法納 Mfana!
-是的 您是 -雷諾茲 Yes, Miss ...? - Reynolds
帕爾默 反正就不是他的妻子 好嗎 Palmer. Just not his wife ok?
我不會坐在這裡 這不可能 I don't wanna sit here, not ganna happen
可惜必須得這樣 女士 I am afraid it must happen, ma'am.
桌子都坐滿人了 而且這是你的家人 All tables are filled and this is your family
和我們坐在一起吧 Please sit with us
你試試嘛 You give it a try
所有的家庭都會爭吵 Every family fights
然後和好重聚 You make it better
-對嗎 -對 - Yes? - Yes
試試魔法啤酒 Try the chachalaca
-你好 新人 -你好 - Hi new people - Hello
順便說一聲 她是勞倫 This is Lauren, by the way
還有她的孩子 功夫小子 And her children,the karate kids
上蠟 刮蠟【（功夫小子裡的台詞）】 Wax on and wax off
這個地方是不是很贊 Isn't this place fantastic?
很浪漫 Oh it's so romantic
不好意思 你剛剛說什麼 Sorry, what did you say?
好浪漫 So romantic
冷靜點 Easy
成為經典動作了 哈 金潔兒 Keeping it classic,huh Ginger?
噢 小傑克 你臉上有東西 Oh Jakey you have something on your face
噢 是個痣 Oh, it's a mole
嘿 你不能坐這裡 Hey you can not sit there
-為什麼不能 -我的媽媽坐這 - Why not? - My mom is sitting there
-她是去了廁所還是什麼 -不 她現在就坐在這裡 - Is she in the bathroom or something? - No,she is sitting there right now
你是在治療期嗎 Are you on meds?
沒事 艾斯本 我們會給布蘭登另一張椅子 It's ok Espn, we'll get Brendan another chair
-謝謝 -不管了 - Thank you - Whatever
我要去吃自助餐 I'm just gonna go to the buffet
泰勒 跟我一起去 他們這有炸毛毛蟲 Tyler come with me.They eat fried caterpillars here
我去 耶 Oh, if
女孩們 你們為什麼不也去吃自助餐 Very nice. Girls, why don't you hit the buffet also?
拉裡 一定得吃足夠多的牛肉 行嗎 Larry, make sure you have plenty of beef, ok?
你得為賽期塑造肌肉 Gotta bulk up for the season
我愛你 I love you
為賽期塑造肌肉 Bulk up for the season?
她是什麼 是只熊嗎 What is she, a bear?
她今年嘗試入選女子代表隊 She is trying out for girls varsity this year
那裡有很多高大的女孩 A lot of big ladies out there
所以她必須吃很多 才能進前五名 So she's gonna eat her way into the starting five
我的天 Omg
大家好 Hello everybody
我叫尼根斯 My name is Nickens
我們是塔吐樂隊 And we're Thathoo
我們唱的是非洲和聲音樂 帶有一點美國靈歌色彩 We play traditional South Africa isicathamiya music, with a liitle bit of American soul
這裡越來越熱了 It's getting a little hot in here
我雄壯的非洲手臂終於解放了 Finally my huge African arms are free
耶 寶貝 Yeah baby!
-就是它們 -不 - Yes they are - No
我想要熱烈歡迎你們來到我們的 I would like to welcome you to our
第四年度混閤家庭蜜月周 Fourth annual blended familymoon week
什麼是混閤家庭 What is a blended family?
我不知道 聽起來很可怕 I do not know, sounds painful
我看到很多漂亮的繼子 繼父 繼母 I'm looking out at all you beautiful stepchildren, stepdads, stepmoms
異父兄弟 同性伴侶 還有傳統的 halfbrothers, same sex domestic partners, and good old-fashioned
不小心懷孕的炮友 哈哈哈 booty calls gone wrong.Ha-ha-ha
好了 雖然強調的重點在於家庭 Now, even though the emphasis is on family
但在這美麗的太陽城度假勝地 We here at the beautiful sun city resort
我們想確保你們有單獨相處的時間 want to make sure you get some alone time
因為單獨相處的時間 Because alone time
有時可以很長 can sometime take a long time
我們有很多受監護的活動給孩子們玩 We have many supervised activities for the young ones to do
我們有狂野叢林 We have a fabulous jungle play zone
有夜間泳池派對 An nightly pool party
嘿 艾斯本 你為什麼不下來 你的媽媽怕水嗎 Espn, why aren't you getting in? Is your mom afraid of water?
幹得好 媽媽 Good, Mom
魔法動物時間 Magical animal Time
小子 你不想試試摸摸活的動物嗎 Little one, wouldn't you like to try petting a living animal?
它死了嗎 He's dead?
還有著名的青少年迪斯高 And our famous Tekula teen disco
嘿兄弟 那兒有很多性感的女孩 Hey dude, there are a lot of hot chicks out here
搞什麼鬼 What the heck is ...?
那是什麼 What's that?
這是在開玩笑嗎 Are you kidding me?
我的天 你是在開玩笑嗎 My God, are you kidding me?
我的天 Omg
天吶 鱷魚 My God, crocodile
鱷魚攻擊 Crocodile Attack
救我 過來救我 Help me, somebody help me
杯裡浮波裡斯先生 這些鱷魚是假的 Mr Bellyflopolis, the crocodiles are fake
它們是假的 They're fake?
是的 它們是假的 Yes, they are fake
你為什麼要做得那麼真 Why would you make them look so realistic?
哦 是用來嚇狒狒的 Well, to scare the baboons away
你都要把我嚇尿了 You just scared a zebra stripe into my underwear
別擔心 發生在非洲的事就留在非洲吧 Don't worry. What happens in Africa, stays in Africa
泰勒 好的 Tyler, ok
不好意思 Excuse me
沒事 Ok
這的確是讓他睡一整晚的方法之一 That's one way to get him to sleep through the night
你看到了嗎 You saw that?
我是聽到的 我覺得烏干達都能聽得 I actually heard it, I think they heard it in Uganda
如果他還是盧的年紀的話 會好搬一些 It was a lot easier when he was Lou's age
-噢 我幫你吧 你到家了 -謝謝 - Of course, let me help you out there.Here you are.You're at home - Thank you
不用客氣 You're welcome
好吧 快撿起來 三秒鐘內還能吃 你沒事的 他也沒事的 All right,pick him up. Three-second rule.Three-second rule.You are fine.He's fine
好吧 我越來越害怕了 Ok, now I'm getting scared
這是你的兔子 Here is your buddy
媽媽在這裡睡覺 Mom is sleeping there
好的 我能和她一起睡嗎 Okay, can I sleep with her?
不行 你會撞到她 No, you'll crush her
不會 我會和她一起蓋被子窩在一起 這樣很好啊 No,I could get in with her and spoon her.It would be nice
我不想看到這樣 I do not want to see that
那好吧 No, ok
好吧 讓媽媽休息吧 我會想想辦法 Well let mommy rest, I'll figure out
-我愛你 -我也愛你 爸爸 I love you - Love you too dad
-晚安 -睡個好覺 - Goodnight - Sleep good
就能我跟你了 小個子 Me and you there, shorty
好吧 就這樣吧 Ok, that's right
剛好在脖子上 我會睡得很踏實的 Right on my neck, that's ganna make a nice evening for me
嘿 夥計們 Hey guys
到點起床了 It's time to wake up
非洲在等著我們 Africa awaits us
這是個美麗的早晨 It's a beautiful morning
盧 你能和爸爸一起起床嗎 Lou, will you wake up with Daddy please?
以撒旦之名 讓我們睡吧 In the name of Lucifer, let us sleep
起來起來 你們兩個 今天我都計劃好了 Up up up you two, I have quite a day plan
我需要一杯咖啡 I need a coffee
早上好 Morning
-計劃好一天了吧 -噢 是呀 Big day planned? - Oh yeah
7點15分大自然散步 8點半愛寵動物園 7:15 nature walk .8:30 petting zoo
10點土著手工品 10:00 am native crafts
那倆兄弟 他們都很期待 The boys . They are so excited
噢是嗎 我的姑娘們也很興奮 一直在床上跳來跳去 Oh really? My girls are ecstatic also.Just jumping up and down on the bed
還是不敢相信他們在這裡 Can't believe they are here
-奶油 -不 謝謝 - Cream?? - No thanks
-糖 -好 謝謝 - Sugar? - Yes, please
-叫不到他們起床 對嗎 -對 - Couldn't get the boys out of bed? - No
-姑娘們呢 -她們可能要把剩下的旅程也睡過去 - The girls? - The girls are paobably sleeping the rest of the trip
可能得為小的那個驅驅魔 Possible exorcism coming for the little one
到時看看會發生些什麼 We'll see what happens
好 Good
-這裡真漂亮 -是啊 - It is beautiful here - Oh yeah
-待會見 -好 玩得開心 - I'll see you around - Yeah, have a good one
你在新澤西可看不到那些 You won't see that in New Jersey
運用你的身體 Use your body
哦耶 搞定 Oh yeah, finish it!
就是這樣 太棒了 耶 And bam. That's it, yes!
太棒了 Yes!
幹得好 Well-done
贏了 來吧 給我球 Winners up. Let go, give me the ball
來 我們開始了 把球傳給我 And here we go, give me the ball
我們動起來 We will move
你在幹嘛 What are you doing?
拉裡 Larry??
快點 把球傳給我 Come on, give me the ball.
牽制住他 Frighten him, let
你是在跳舞嗎 Are you dancing?
你在幹嘛 What are you doing?
接球 Take the ball
發生什麼事了 What is happening?
不管了 接球吧 Just take the ball.
你怎麼這樣子走 是內衣不舒服嗎 Why are you moving like that? Is it the bra?
如果是的話 脫掉 反正你也不需要 Because if it's the bra, just take it off.You don't need it any way
什麼 What?
你去哪 我們才剛開始 Where are you going? We just started
你的孩子沒事吧 他幹嘛要穿內衣 Is your boy okay? Why does he wear a bra?
她是女孩 She's a girl
你遜斃了 You suck
泰勒 慢點 Tyler ,slow down
老媽 我們的時速才四公里 Come on mom .We are going 4 miles per hour
夠快了 That's plenty fast. fast enough
又快又安全 Fast and safe
帕爾默小姐 開快點沒事 Miss Palmer .It's okay to go fast
好的 馬法那 Ok Mfana
看我的 Watch me!
你開錯方向了 You are going the wrong way!
小心 老奶奶 Watch out, grandmother!
我的錯 My bad
我們的混閤家庭之旅進行得很好 The blending process is really going well for us
我老公的十三歲的兒子 My husband's 13-year-old
還在和我鬧矛盾 不喜歡我 still has some hatred issues towards me
但是肢體衝突減少了 But it is becoming less physical
這是個好的開始 So it's a start
那很好啊 Good for you
我早上醒來 發現臉上蓋著一個枕頭 I woke up this morning with a pillow pressed against my face
但是我能感覺到他有一點內疚 But I could sense some guilt afterwards
這也是一種進步 So that's progress
堅持住 姐妹們 勝利的曙光就在前方 Hang in there ladies, there is a light at the end of the tunnel
這個小天使終於把我當成 This little angel here is finally starting to think of me
她第二個媽媽了 as her second mom
而不是把我誤認為她之前的體操老師 Not just her former gymnastics teacher
你在畫什麼 寶貝 What are you drawing honey?
一隻大象在踩你的頭 踩死你 It's a picture of elephants stomping on your head and making you dead
不要笑 Stop it
別擔心 在非洲發生的事都會留在非洲 Don't worry, what happens in Africa, stays in Africa
我們來碰拳嗎 Bump my fist?
-他太幽默了 -是啊 - Jim's so funny - yeah
-抱歉 -為什麼打這麼多結 - I'm trying - Why did you tie it with so many knots?
我不想讓它飛下來啊 I didn't want it to come flying off
噢天哪 她的臉怎麼了 Oh my God, what happened to her face?
我畫的 畫的是Hello Kitty I painted it.She is a kitty cat
你是畫了眼影嗎 Are you wearing eye shadows?
我本來幫他畫了公主但是他洗掉了 I made daddy a princess but he washed the paints off
洗不太乾淨 他看起來有點像Lady Gaga Well not all the way off because he looks a little like Lady Gaga
為什麼他帶著個頭盔 Why is this kid wearing a helmet?
你是又要抱著他回去睡覺嗎 還是怎麼樣 Are you carrying him to bed again or something?
不 我打了太多結 No, I tied the chain strap too many times
然後解不開 I can't get it off
在體育店上班的好處就是 Best thing about working at a sporting goods store
隨身帶有瑞士軍刀 Swiss Army Knife
-小心點 -我會慢慢來的 - Just be careful - I'll go easy
謝謝你 Thank you
爸爸我要上廁所 Daddy I gotta go to the bathroom
現在要嗎 好吧 You do? Ok
她可以帶我去嗎 Can she take me?
她有自己的事要做 你要去幹嘛 一還是二 She's got her own life to live. What do you gotta do? One or two?
-一 -我可以陪她去 - Number 1 - I can handle this
-好 -你要幫我看著他 - Ok - Will you watch him?
我說的真的是眼睛盯著 And I mean ,watch him
好 我會的 擦乾淨點 Yes, I got it.Home slice.
-好的 -不要忘了 - OK - For sure
-一代表的是什麼 -尿尿 - What's number 1 again? - It's pee pee
-有時候他擦得太用力了 -他肯定不是故意的 - And sometimes he wipes too hard. - I'm sure he doesn't mean to
他不是 他是個好爸爸 可惜沒有小妹妹 No he's a good daddy .He just doesn't have a virgina
哦寶貝 我們洗手吧 Ok honey, let's wash your hands
他是個壞爸爸 把我畫的像行屍走肉裡的 He's a bad daddy .He made me look like the Walking Dead
不 Oh no!
沒事 OK .
沒事的 All right.
我們來看看魔術包裡面有什麼 Let's see what we have in the magic bag here
太好了 Perfect
沒事的 All right.
你長得好漂亮 You're pretty
你更漂亮 You're prettier
-我說你很漂亮 -閉嘴 等我擦乾淨你的臉 - I said you are. - Shut up and let me do your makeup
可能他們在那 Maybe that's where they are.
泰勒 Tyler?
泰勒快下來 馬上 Tyler ,get off that dodo bird right now!
沒事的 安全管理員會確保我們安全的 Everything's fine.The safety instructor is on top of it
耶 我贏了 我是非洲之王 Yes, I win, I'm the King of Africa
迎接贏家吧 A winner!
你在開什麼玩笑 Are you kidding me?
你就是個白癡 好嗎 You're a moron, okay?
他可能會扭傷脖子 Because he could have broken his neck
媽媽 你看到了嗎 Mom, did you see that?
我跳下來穩穩落地 像鬥牛舞的姿勢 I stuck the landing and did the bull dance
-我看到了 -媽媽 謝謝你帶我來這裡旅遊 - Yes, I saw it. - Thank you so much for taking me on this trip, Mom
今天是我人生中最棒的一天 This is the best day of my life
好吧 Ok
太好了 Great, good
我愛你 I love you so much
知道你玩的開心我很高興 I'm so glad you're having fun
不用謝謝我 You're welcome
太感謝你了 Thank you very much
你為什麼朝我爸爸豎中指 Why are you flipping my dad off?
我沒有 Huh? I'm not.
看看 有個白人女孩 Check out white girl in the neighborhood
我說的對嗎兄弟們 Am I right? My brothers?
我還是不敢相信你爸喜歡我媽 I can't believe your dad's into my mom
他不喜歡你媽 是你媽喜歡我爸 He doesn't like her, she's into him.
不可能 他是個土肥圓 No way. He's a goofy and flabby all over
我媽媽是個美麗的女人 身材火辣 My mom is gorgerous with a rocking body.
那句話好噁心 Hey that's sick, man
你沒聽到上下文 That was out of context!
有上下文嗎 Was it?
你應該上去跟他說話 You know. You should just go talk to him.
他可不會咬人 Because he probably won't bite
我不行 Oh, no, no, I can't.
家裡有男朋友了 Got a boyfriend back at home?
我們學校的男生都以為我是拉拉 Please. All the guys at my school pretty much assume I'm a lesbian
還不是火辣的那種 And not the hot kind
呃 你有沒有想過 Well, have you ever considered, say like ...
換個髮型 Changing your hair style?
我們的理髮師只會剪這種 還有寸頭 Our barber only really knows how to do this and crew cuts
-所以 -理髮師 - So ... - A barber?
街邊的理髮店那種 Like the kind with a pole outside?
他給我爺爺剪頭髮 He cut our grandfather's hair
給我爸爸剪頭髮 He cuts my dad's hair
現在給我們剪頭髮 And now he cuts our hair
我可以 May I just ...?
你長得真漂亮 You have such a beautiful face
說起來也有趣 我正要去髮廊 It's funny because I was actually on my way to the salon
你想跟我一起去嗎 Do you wanna come check it out with me?
去幹嘛 For what?
去修整一下頭髮 For a hairdo
弄個女生的髮型 For a girl
適合這個時代的 In this century
我想去 但是我得跟我爸要錢 I would , but I have to ask my dad for the money
不用 我給 No no no, it's on me
真的嗎 Really?
我很樂意 It would make me so happy
我又不能跟我的兒子一起去做頭髮 Because I don't get to do this with my boys
走吧華倫王子 Come on Prince Valiant
我不知道你在說什麼 但是好啊我去 I don't know who that is, but ok
-你在哪買的衣服 -爸爸在工作的地方拿的 - Where do you buy your clothes? - Dad gets most of our clothes from work
我們該慶幸他沒在貓頭鷹餐廳工作 Then I guess we should be grateful he doesn't work at Hooters
我們的媽媽在那工作 No, my mom worked at Hooters
她什麼 She what?
我媽以前在貓頭鷹餐廳工作 Oh, my mom. She used to worked at Hooters
她是湖街那家餐廳的主管 She managed the one over on Lake street
他該慶幸沒有被提到蛋蛋 He's lucky he didn't get kicked in the nuts
啊 我的蛋 Oh, my nuts
奧斯本 Espn
這是我吃過最好吃的水果沙拉 你一定要試試 It is the best passion fruit I've ever tasted. Try it.
我給你媽媽也拿了一份 And I got some for your mam too
謝謝 Thank you
不用客氣 You're welcome
話說你們兩人是怎麼認識的 So how did you two sexicans meet?
這個問題好難回答我喜歡 Yeah, hitting them with the hard questions, I like it
我們是相親認識的 Well, we met on a blind date
相親真的太糟糕了 Those are the worst
我去過十次相親 I have been on 10 blind dates in my life
全部都是大胖子 All fatties.
十次都是 大胖子 Ten for ten. All fatties
無意冒犯 金 No offense, Jim
有發生什麼事嗎 他帶你去哪 What happened? Where did he take you?
他帶我去了貓頭鷹餐廳 Actually, Hooters
又來了 Here we go
那裡服務很好 Which was a wonderful service
那裡的人也很好 Nice people
真的很不錯 Really great
好浪漫 How romantic
都跟著我動起來吧 Everyone's shimmying now
你怎麼不動起來呢 Why you no shimmy, Jimmy?
動起來啊 Shimmy
金 Jim?
拉裡去哪了 Where is Larry?
你把拉裡怎麼了 What happened to Larry?
我就站在這啊 老爸 I'm right here, Dad
這怎麼 為什麼 Why were the ...? How did this ...?
這是怎麼回事 What's happening right now?
勞倫和我去了髮廊 Lauren gave me her salon appointment
他們給我弄了這身打扮 還給我化了妝 And they put in hair extensions and makeup
她教他們怎麼打扮 什麼該弄什麼不該弄 and she even told them how to style it and what to do, what not to do
她人太好了 She's pretty amazing
真的好人啊 She was amazing, huh?
你想跟我去吧檯那裡拿一些壽司嗎 Do you want to get some sushi from the bar?
哇哦 別這麼著急小伙子 Easy scarecrow! She's gotta bulk up.
她還要去拿豬排 羊排 Pork chops, lamb chops
牛肉 Red meat
我們去拿點牛肉 Let's go get our beef on?
嗯 Yeah?
我想有別人也來了晚餐 一個胖胖的會飛的小孩子叫做丘比特 I think someone new came to dinner. A flying baby named Cupid
丘比特 Cupido!
有什麼問題嗎 What's the matter?
有設麼問題 What's the matter?
我剛剛看到了我女兒 差點沒認出來 I just looked at my daughter and I didn't really recognize her
我愣了好一會 Kind of threw me off for a minute
她已經十五歲了 Well she's 15
你知道 女兒總會長大的 You know, she's bound to grow up at some point
我知道 也許我瘋了 因為 I know, call me crazy .I just thought
我認為那是我該做的決定 這是我的女兒 maybe that would be my decision because she's my kid!
噢 真尷尬 Ok, awkward moment
真不自在 劍拔弩張 uncomfortable, tension
-我要走了 誰跟我一起走 -我 我 - I am leaving the table, who's with me? - Me
我也跟你走 I'm going
我能問一下 Can I ask you?
你憑什麼覺得你可以未經我允許 What made you think you could
就把我女兒打扮成這樣嗎 tart up my daughter without my permission?
你說的對 我很抱歉 我真的錯了 You're right. I am sorry. I am.
說真的 Seriously
不過這話由一個差點害死我兒子的人說出來有點可笑 I just find it hypocritical from someone who nearly killed my son
所以你是想說我們扯平了 So it was getting even? Is that it?
我不是這個意思 No, it's not getting even.
只是 她很漂亮 I just ... she's beautiful
當然 Right
但不是頂著那個男生的髮型 With that pageboy Prince Valiant haircut you gave her
-那個髮型看起來很好看啊 -還有她那身衣服 - She looked very nice with that haircut - And the tracksuit
你在開什麼玩笑 Are you kidding me?
她內心深處渴望擺脫那個形象 釋放真實的自己 Dying on the inside to come out
她媽媽在她這個年紀也是這樣子 假小子打扮 His mother was tomboyish at her age
我也覺得她很好看啊 And that was fine with me
你老婆十五歲你們就認識了 You knew your wife when she was 15?
我十三歲就認識她了 我很喜歡她 I knew her when I was 13. I had a crush on her.
我也不知道她為什麼會喜歡我 I had no idea why she liked me back.
我有九成是傻瓜 還有一成是廢人 I was 90% goofy and 10% loser
這樣 Well.
我有六成是控制狂 I was 60% urkel
還有四成是瘋子 And 40% screech
這麼跟你說 如果我不控制住自己 Put it to you this way, if I didn't have braces
我怕我會忍不住咬你 my teeth would be hitting you right now
很抱歉我對你大喊大叫 I'm sorry I yelled at you
我知道我很白癡 沒經過你同意 I feel like a jerk because I put your kid on a gooney bird
就和你的兒子一起騎鴕鳥 and I didn't asked your permission and ...
不 你說的對 No, but listen, you're right
我真的得對他寬鬆點 I need to let go of the reins a little bit
我只是想說 Just want to say ...
為了代表塔圖樂隊 On behalf of the Thathoo
我們多麼快樂 How happy we are
看到你們兩人 See you two lovers finally
已經墜入愛河 Blending
我們沒有 No, we are not blending
我們只是在談話 We were just having a conversation
我們很高興沒有相互廝殺 Just happy we haven't killed each other yet
是的你們已墜入愛河 Yes you are blending
是的你們已有肌膚之親 Yes, you'll be touching
好吧 我們去拿點牛肉來吃嗎 All right. Let's go get our beef on
謝謝 再見 All right. Thank you.
我相信他們已經對彼此有感覺了 快來 快來 I think they are blending over there! Come now! Come now!
他們已經墜入了愛河 They're blending over there.
爸爸 看 Daddy, look!
幹嘛 我只是以為看到了一隻鷹 What, I thought I saw an eagle
我看到了駱駝 I saw a camel
嘿 希拉裡 Hey Hilary
你想上我們的觀光車嗎 You wanna come in our truck?
你確定 你不是應該在你的棺材裡面嗎 太陽太猛了 Shouldn't you be in your coffin? The sun is out right now
你自己去走一走吧 宅男 Take a walk, homes
嘿 Hey
你跟他去吧 Go ahead
天哪 Omg
這只可憐的野豬失去了雙親 The bush pig has lost its parents
但是它有獅子爸爸和獅子媽媽照顧 so it is being cared for by Mama and Papa lion
即使是在殘酷的大自然 Even in nature
混閤家庭也是存在的 There are blended families
太好了 That's nice
也許我誤會了 I may have misread that situation
諸多感慨 時光飛逝啊 Emotional, time passing
一切都在變 Changes
是啊 一切都不一樣了 It's, it's, it's hard
你必須得放手 You gotta let it go
翻過這頁 繼續前進 Turning the page, moving on
-她之前還是個孩子 -這是個慢慢變化的過程 你得接受它 She was a little kid, just a ... - Processing it, accepting it
生活的車輪在緩緩前進 The circle of life
雖然這個過程很痛苦 Painful, though
真讓人心疼 不是嗎 It hurts,right ?
不 我可不心疼 我有個兒子 No, not for me, I got a boy
你才得心疼 But you're in shithouse
謝謝 Thanks
真是壯觀 The view is splendid
可以讓我去玩嗎 媽媽 Please, Mom?
什麼 你瘋了 不行 What, That? Are you crazy? No
如果他可以 我也行 這是完全沒危險的 If Mfana can do it, I could do it. It's totally safe.
我不可能讓你去玩的 There is no way I am going to let you do that
除非 Unless
我先去試試 I try it first
保證你控制得了 And make sure you can handle it
你什麼都不用擔心 綁得很緊 You have nothing to worry about. You are in tight.
有五十多條帶子綁著你 很安全 You got 50 gauge webbing here.
但是你可能得注意瘧疾 Possibly malaria is the only thing you gotta think about.
別吞下上面那些奇怪的東西 Don't swallow anything weird up there
好的 Ok
如果我想求救或者突然改變主意了怎麼辦 What happens if like I wanna signal for help or like if I decided to change my mind ...?
我的天 Omg
太美了 It is beautiful
加油 老媽 加油 Go, mama, go!
長頸鹿 There are giraffes
那裡有長頸鹿 我看得到它們 There are giraffes right there, I can see them
幫我向他們問好 Well,say hello for me
實在太美了 This is so pretty
我的天哪 大象耶 oh My God, elephants
大象 Elephants
她為什麼在尖叫 Why is she screaming?
她不是在尖叫 是嚎叫 She's not screaming, she is howling
她玩得很開心 She's having fun
你在上面看起來很棒 寶貝 You look good up there baby
像風一樣自由翱翔吧 Fly like the wind
泰勒 你一定要試試這個 Tyler, you got to try this
你為什麼停下來 Why you slowing down?
我們沒有汽油了 We're out of gas
沒油了 什麼叫沒油了 You're out of gas?What does that mean?
我們本來有汽油 但現在用完了了 We had gas,but we are out now.
我的天哪 怎麼回事 Oh my God, what's happening?
吉姆 Jim?
我們沒油了 We're out of gas
什麼 What?
這都是你的錯 This is all your fault
別擔心 我爸爸會想到辦法的 Do not worry my dad will come up with a plan
什麼辦法 What is the plan?
找到加油站 Look for a gas station
你滾蛋 you suck
你聽我說 Listen to me
當你接近地面時 When you get close to the ground
就開始快跑 Start running fast
我的腿就像柯基狗那麼短 I have the legs of a corky dog
沒關係 儘管邁開你的小短腿 That does not matter right now, move those little babies
我不能讓我的孩子看到我就這樣死掉 You can not let your children see you die like this
額滴神啊 Omg
犀牛 Rhino!
天哪 Omg
張開你的腿 Open your legs
我沒想到你會是個會去做推拿的人 I didn't have you pegged for the massage type of guy.
這是我人生第一次做推拿 我必須去做 It's the first massage I'll ever do in my life. I have to.
我要看看他們會不會把我的胰臟推上我的喉嚨 I have to do, to see if they can rub my pancreas out of my neck
我的天哪 還有 順便說一句 不用謝 My God, you're welcome,by the way
不用謝什麼 For what?
-不用謝什麼 -救了你一命 -"for what" ? -For saving you
你沒有救我 You didn't save me.
你只是叫我一直跑 You told me to keep running
你為什麼不抓住我 Why didn't you catch me?
我為什麼應該抓住你 I was suppossed to catch you?
你以為我是誰 蝙蝠俠嗎 Who am I?Batman?
你當時時速700里地向我衝來 Coming at me like 700 miles an hour.
大概500公斤那麼重 You're weighing about a buck fifty.
慣性會將我手臂扯斷的 The inertia would rip my arms off my body.
是 老娘抬著你的左半屁屁剛好這麼重 yes,That's me, I weight about 50 if I'm holding your left ass cheek.
我不知道女人怎麼量體重 I do not know what women weight
你什麼都不知道 You don't know anything.
-祝你推拿愉快 -會的 Have a nice massage - We'll see
好了 現在對你的搭檔做同樣的動作 All right, now do the same with
同時要保持互相凝視對方的眼睛 your partner while make sure you look deeply into each others' eyes
-這是啥 -電影大門的情景再現嗎 - What is this? - A scene out of The Doors?
我也不知道 額 The truth is that I don't know
女士 Ma'am?
是這樣的 我預定了一次推拿 Yes, I booked a massage
是的 你預定的是情侶藝術推拿 -噢 yes,you booked for the Art of couples massage
快來吧 這正是你們所需要的 It is exactly what you guys need
我們會成為一列推拿火車 我當最後的守車 We are forming a massage train I'll be the caboose.
我可不答應 Unacceptable
我只是在開玩笑 I'm joking.
-加入我們吧 -不 女士 -我很好我 - join us - oh no,ma'ma. -i am so good ...
來這邊 This way
好的 Ok
先輕撫你愛人的脖子 慢慢放鬆 Let's loosen things up by stroking your lover's neck.
-好吧 -現在就開始啊 Ok - Come now
別害羞 Do not be bashful.
沉浸在你愛人撫摸的愉悅當中吧 Give yourself over to the pleasure of your loving patner's touch.
-你好 -你好嗎 - Hello - How are you?
記住要輕輕地撫摸 Maybe to keep that softer ?
輕輕地用你指尖觸碰她的肌膚 like you brush your fingers against her skin.
-哦天哪 我身上是有只蟲子嗎 -不 Oh God, what's happening?Was there a bug on me - No. ..
不是蟲子 我只是 No bug I was just ...
試試 I try to ...
輕輕觸碰肌膚 像她說的 get some skin, like she said.
這樣會弄疼我的脖子 That hurts the jugular
我不知道 I do not know ...
那好吧 走你 Ok, so .There you go.
-說真的這挺讚的 -那就好 - That's truely very nice - good
天哪 God
我感覺很放鬆 Now I feel relaxed, it's ...
噢 這感覺好棒 It is wonderful
不好意思 請問我也會得到這樣的待遇 Excuse me. Am I gonna get some sort of rub action here
還是在非洲男人就要做全部的活兒 or does the guy do all the work in Africa?
你真風趣 莫普陀波利斯先生 Very funny Mr. Boptopolis
但他說的對 But he's right
女士們 該你們動手了 ladies,it's your time to join it.
當你的搭檔按摩到你的肩膀的時候 As your partner moves down to your shoulders, reach out
伸出手 觸摸他的耳朵 and touch his ears
用你的拇指和食指輕揉耳垂 Gently rub your thumbs and index finger...
就好像你在觸碰玫瑰花瓣上的朝露 As if they were rubbing the dew Morning of a rose petal
-這是你的花瓣嗎 -是的 是不是觸碰露珠的感覺 Are these the petals of a flower? - Yes,Now rub the dew.
我覺得如果我幫你將這倆滑稽玩意兒 I'd be doing you a really big
扯下來會幫你一個很大的忙 favor if I just yanked these goofy things right off.
噢 閉嘴吧你 塌肩膀 Shut up, little shoulders
-我肩膀的確挺塌的 -不 不是啦 很好看 -Well if they are small.- No, you don't. They're very nice.
但你知道如果你要改進姿勢 But you know what helps
要怎麼做比較好嗎 if you need to work on your posture?
稍微抬起你的手臂 Here, just lift your arms a little bit.
看好了 我做給你看 Watch, I'll show you. Right...
感覺很贊喲 Feels very good.
感覺還挺好的 You're good
你的肩膀挺好看的 You have nice shoulders.
-真的嗎 -你的肌肉真的很發達 -Really? - You really have a lot of muscle.
-沒你的發達 -嘿 Not as much as you.-Heh
帶著那孩子四周轉還到處撞他的頭 From carrying that kid around and smashing his head.
啊 噢 是啊 Oh, yeah!
溫尼克先生 Mr. Warnick
那塊兒不是你太太的肩膀吧 Those are not your wife's shoulders.
哎呀被抓到了 Busted!
但我還是很愛它們的 我得保持你的視野潔淨嘛 Loving it though. Respect the vision.
我懂得 I get it.
-但那兒才是最終目的地 對吧 -當然啦 - Gotta go for it, right? - You do!
嗯 那實在太舒服了 That was so relaxing ...
我希望我把你的胰臟按回了該在的位置 I hope you returned your pancreas back to where it belongs
我現在甚至都不知道它跑哪去了 I don't even know where it is right now.
他們玩的很嗨喲 They have fun.
你剛才很棒 謝謝你 You were very nice, thank you
你是個很強壯的女人 You're a strong woman
還有強壯的雙手 Strong hands
嗯 我很高興你喜歡我的手 I'm glad you liked my hands
爹地 Daddy?
我能讓勞倫抱我去床上睡覺嗎 Can Lauren put me to bed?
寶貝 Sweetheart,
爸爸待會就抱你睡覺 Daddy will put you to bed in one second.
但我想勞倫陪我 But I love Lauren
勞倫啊 Lauren ...
下次 下次再讓勞倫陪你 Another time Lauren will
我就要她今晚陪我 But I want you to do tonight
爹地不同意 And Daddy says no
-唔 -不行 - Mm! - No.
我就想要勞倫 I want Lauren.
我很受寵若驚 I'm flattered
好吧 那現在呢 舒服嗎 Okay. How's that? Are you all cozy now?
是滴 Yes
爹地 Daddy?
你能讓我們單獨待會兒嗎 Can we have some time alone?
我可以去外面的廁所裡呆著 如果你想的話 那我就去唄 I can go to the bathroom outside.Is that what you want? You got it.
竟然還被趕出自己的帳篷 Thrown out of my own tent.
他都聽我的 I own him.
看出來了 It seems
你能摸摸我的頭嗎 這樣我就能做好夢了 Can you rub my head so I have good dreams?
當然好了 Of course
你的頭好小好可愛 What a cute little head.
你就不能去離帳篷遠點的地方嗎 Couldn't go a little further from the tent?
你想我怎樣 這外面可能有吃人的怪獸啊 What do you want from me?They could have gorillas ready to kill
好吧 你為啥不讓他們給你開點什麼前列腺藥之類的 why don't you get them to give you some Flomax or something.
是 我老了 我承認 Yep, getting older. I'll give you that.
你能唱歌給我聽嗎 Can you sing to me?
嗯 好啊 Um, sure.
-那裡有隻怪獸啊 -啊 - There's a gorilla right there! - Aah!
開個玩笑 不好意思 I'm just kidding! I'm sorry!
不好意思 我只是有點情緒化 那只是 不好意思 I'm sorry, I just couldn't handle how emotional it was getting. I just， I'm sorry.
休息一下吧 我不是故意的 Get some rest. I didn't mean to do that to you.
抬高手肘 這關乎怎麼把握平衡 Elbow up. It's all about balance.
就是這樣 That's right.
把你的重心放在這裡 Keep your weight right there.
你怎麼會打板球 How do you even play cricket?
我打的不是板球 我打的是棒球 We're not playing cricket. We're playing baseball.
但這酒店就只有這個破玩意兒 The only thing at the hotel they had was this stupid battle thingamajiggy.
他是誰 Who's that guy?
他叫戴爾 He's some guy named Dale.
他會朝你扔球 Uh, he'll be pitching to you.
那個 在板球裡我們不叫扔球 我們叫投球 Yeah, in cricket we don't pitch, we bowl.
嘿 戴爾 我是該付你多少來著 Hey, Dale. How much am I paying you?
你體育用品店裡的那5件布魯克林T恤 Five Brooklyn T-shirts from your sporting goods store.
這樣啊 如果你繼續糾正我的話就只有4件了 Okay, I'm gonna make it four if you correct me again.
好了 戴爾 扔 投一個球 All right, Dale. Pitch-- Or bowl one in.
-我不擅長這個 -不是你的原因 不關你事 - I stink at this. - No, it's not you. It's not you.
戴爾 你能扔到本壘這邊嗎 這樣會好些 Dale, you think maybe you can reach the plate? That would help.
實際上 在板球裡面我們 Actually, in cricket we bounce the--
我會試試 我試試 I'll try. I'll try.
好了 All right.
抬高你的手肘 來吧 Elbow up. Come on. Get there.
我不想玩這個 I do not want to do this!
嘿 你在幹什麼 Hey. What are you doing?
不要扔你的球拍 還是這個什麼 You don't throw your bat. Or whatever this thing is called.
-它就叫球拍 -萬分感謝 -A bat - Thank you
你是個運動員 你是個體育家 You're an athlete, sportsman
你要尊重你的裝備 You have to respect your team
收到 Yessir
除非你能像你騎鴕鳥那樣成功擊球 我們才離開這裡 We ain't leaving here till you hit the ball as good as you ride an ostrich.
撿起你的球拍 Pick up the bat
嘿 我知道你站在那感到很孤單 很害怕 Hey. I know you're up there all alone.
覺得壓力都在你身上 It's scary. You feel like all the pressure's on you.
但你知道嗎 But guess what?
壓力在他身上 The pressure is on him
他看起來壓力不大啊 Doesn't look like he's feeling the pressure.
噢 他就是這麼感覺的 Oh, he's feeling it all right.
他覺得他的球沒辦法從你這過去 He doesn't think he can get the ball past you.
我要你直視他的眼睛 I want you to look him right
讓他知道你才是勝者 in the eyes and let him know you own him.
繼續 Go ahead.
就是這樣 重要時刻來了 That's it, big time.
給他個白眼 Give him the stink eye.
他有什麼問題嗎 What's his problem?
看吧 你嚇倒他了 Well, look at that. You rattled him.
好了 戴爾 要是你有膽量你就扔球過來吧 Okay. Dale, pitch it in if ya got the guts.
太棒了 Yes!
你看到了嗎 我絕殺了 Did you see that?Did you see that? I killed it!
讓我們來多幾次吧 Let's do it a hundred more times.
-要是能打成這樣 我爸爸就會來看我的比賽了 -發生什麼事了 -If I hit like that, my dad's gonna start coming to my games.-What's going on here?
吉姆剛教會我怎麼讓那扔球手成為我的手下敗將 Jim just taught me how to make the pitcher my bitch.
我弟弟才不需要你教他怎麼打球 My brother doesn't need you to teach him how to hit!
行 那你要做給他看看嗎 Okay. You wanna show him how to do it?
讓我們開開眼界 Let's see what you got.
我不需要向你證明什麼 傻逼 I don't need to prove anything to you, d-bag.
戴爾 他剛剛是叫我傻逼嗎 Dale, did he really just call me a d-bag?
這屎事來真的了 This shit just got real.
我要殺了你 I'm gonna kill you.
行啊 我們看看 Okay, we'll see.
戴好你的拳套 先保護好自己吧 Let's get your gloves up. Face protected.
打趴他 布蘭登 Kick his ass, Brendan!
-什麼 -打趴他 吉姆 - What's that? - Kick his ass, Jim!
看吧 你要盯著你的目標 You see, you gotta look at your target.
要不要我放張你家保姆的照片在我臉上 那樣你會看著我了 哈 How about I put a picture of your babysitter on my face? Will you look at it then? Huh?
噢 來啊 來啊 Oh, yeah, yeah.
別把她扯進來 Just leave her out of this!
用你的右手 那樣你會打得好一點 對吧 Use your right hand. You're better with that one.
好了 好了 彭 All right, all right. Boom.
你看起來很生氣哦 You seem pissed at me.
你打了我 You just hit me!
不 在那之前 再之前 我們第一次見面那時候 No! Before that. Before that, like when we first met.
我認為我媽媽能找到更好的 Just think that my mom could do better.
首先 她找不到更好的 First of all, she can't do better.
因為沒人會比我好 Because no one's better than me.
我是最好的 I am the greatest.
其次 我覺得你想要保護你媽媽這點很好 Secondly, I think it's nice that you wanna protect your mommy.
哇哦 哇哦 冷靜一下 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Calm down.
但那樣挺好 說明你還是有兩下子的 That was good though.
聽著 要成為一個男人 不是有窩火的事情你就可以生氣或者埋怨 Showing a little something in there. Listen, being a man ain't about pissing and moaning anytime something's bothering you.
而是要專注處理你正在面臨的事情 It's about dealing with what's in front of you.
所以 干倒我吧 So deal with me.
你還好嗎 Are you okay?
這招很損 That was sneaky.
但我還好 But I'm fine
吉寶 這是不是說明了我現在是一個男人了 Does that make me a man now, Jimbo?
不是 No
問我還好嗎這一句 Asking me if I was okay,
是一個開始 that was a start.
是啊 這挺好的 但我還不知道你們是一起工作的 但也說得通了 Yeah, that's great. Didn't know you guys worked out together, but it makes sense.
那然後呢 And then what happened?
投球手扔球過來 然後我就把球打到十里開外了 The bowler threw it, and I hit it like a mile away.
是啊 然後吉姆教我怎麼搏擊 Yeah. And then Jim taught me how to box.
5分鐘後 我基本上算是打倒了他 And after 5 minutes, I basically knocked him out.
耶 Yes!
好吧 他人還挺好的 Well, that was nice of him.
他們來這次旅行 也相處得挺不錯的 Kind of worked out well, they came on this trip.
是的 Yes, it did.
勞倫 你穿這條裙子實在太火辣了 我必須要買來送給你 Lauren, you looked so hot in this dress, I had to buy it for you.
還有 我說買的意思 其實是偷 And by "Buy," I mean "Steal."
希望你在我的假期裡過得愉快 I hope you're having fun on my vacation
爸爸 你是梳了頭嗎 Dad. Did you comb your hair?
不是啊 我覺得是洗完澡就變這樣了 No. Got out of the shower like this, I guess.
你還洗了澡 You took a shower?
我洗啦 我有權利洗澡吧 我的天 I shower! I'm allowed to shower. My God
-自從我們來到這兒我還沒洗過澡 -我知道 你好臭 但我喜歡 - I haven't taken a shower since we got here.- I know. You stink. I love it.
是的 我臭臭 Yeah, I stink bad.
很臭臭 Very bad
是啊 非常臭臭 你聞起來超級噁心的 Yeah, you stink real bad. Your breath smells terrible.
勞倫在哪 Where is Lauren?
你看媽媽 Look at Mom.
哇哦 Wow
爸爸 說話啊 Dad say something
是 是 你看起來非常非常美 Yes, yes. You look very, very nice.
噢 好吧 謝謝 你洗過澡啦 Oh, well, thank you. You showered.
難道你們都覺得我是不洗澡的男人嗎 我經常洗澡好嗎 Am I really known as the non-shower guy?I shower all the time, guys.
女士們先生們 Ladies and gentlemen
這是我們在 It's the final night
非洲的混閤家庭體驗 of our blended family experience
的最後一晚 Here in Africa
我們的傳統是邀請孩子們去泳池區域 Our tradition is to invite the kiddies to the pool area
因為我們有著名的 for our famous kids-only
僅供孩子的冒險大餐 和十英尺的巧克力雨林噴泉 safari buffet and 10-foot chocolate rain forest fountain!
-我們能去嗎 爸爸 -行 去吧 但是要跟好你的姐姐 Can we go, Dad?-All right, go ahead. Stay with you sisters though.
我兒子是個巧克力瘋 My boy here's a chocoholic.
你得看好了 You better watch out.
不然他就這樣跳進去 出來就變成一個帥氣的美國黑奴 Or he's gonna jump in and come out looking like a handsome Hershey bar.
你看到了嗎 Did you see that?
我讓他笑了 I made him smile.
他想不笑可是卻忍不住 He tried not to but he couldn't help himself.
我們會組成一個很棒的家庭 We're gonna be a great family.
是的 我們會的 Yes, we are.
我愛你 Love you.
小的們都走了 All of the little ones have gone.
今晚 餐廳就只有 Tonight the dining room is:
大人們了 Adults only
是的 現在終於等到那一刻了 Yeah, now we're getting there.
混合愛人們都去舞廳吧 Let's have all you blended lovers on the dance floor.
這很瘋狂 不是嗎 It's crazy, huh?
這首歌 The song.
他把 輝煌 這個詞 He took the word "Splendid"
換成了 混合 And replaced it with "Blended"
太機智了 還很押韻 So clever. It rhymes!
但是原來的詞是 華麗 But, the real word is "Splendored."
那不應該是換成 攪拌機 So wouldn't it be "Blendored"?
你說神馬 What's this now?
我只是隨便說說而已 不好意思 什麼 I'm just teasing, I do not listen
你準備好了嗎，掐彼得裡斯先生 Are you ready Mr. Ellaesunapedalista?
掐彼得裡斯 好吧 "She is a rider" Okay
他記起來一點了 He got good
準備好什麼 Ready for what?
你安排好的觀星體驗 His programming experience to see the stars
所以... So ...
掐彼得裡斯太太 你願意跟我一起去嗎 Ms. Ellaesunapedalista, Would you like to join me?
噢 好啊 If
好的 Well
有一點遠 It will be fun
好吧 謝謝你 Ok, thank you
我們到了 Here we are
二人燭光晚餐 Dinner for two
噢 這真是 Oh, if
這不錯啊 It is good
如果是我肯定答應迪克 I must hand it to Dick,
他可能是這世上最浪漫的男人 is perhaps the most romantic man on the planet
是的 毫無疑問 Yeah, got the moves there's no doubt
我敢肯定他打算在這裡跟珍求婚 I bet here was going to ask Jen to marry him
或許吧 Maybe
你早上要求的事情我們都可以做到 We were able to get everything you asked this morning
除了心形奶酪棒 Except the cheese sticks Heart Shaped
奶酪棒 Cheese Sticks??
這是你安排的嗎 Your've started this?
我想再來一次 I wanted to do it again
回到第一次約會失敗那天 On the first date fiasco
我會比那時候做得好 I'm better than that
它的意思是 Which means:
戀人渴望那幾聲溫言絮語使靈魂交融 "Lovers long for the moment that makes their souls mingle
的那一刻 In a whisper
讓這一刻成為你們的永恆 Let this be the time "
你午餐是吃了豬排 Did you eat pork chops with
加金槍魚嗎 Tuna for lunch?
是的 我是吃了那個 Yes, it is
我能感覺到 I could tell
不好意思 Apologies
我現在就去刷牙 蘿莉啵啵裡斯先生 I always brush my teeth Mr. Lolipopolis
我會一天刷兩次 還有你剛剛是叫我蘿莉啵啵裡斯先生嗎 I wash 2 times a day, And did you call me Lolipopolis?
其實是 西奧多波裡斯 順便告訴你一下 It is Theodopolis, attesting
我知道 我只是開個小玩笑 I know, I just like to have fun
吉姆 弗裡德曼 Jim Freedman
什麼 What?
那很不錯 That was good
這塔吐樂隊怎麼無處不在 How does appear Tatoo everywhere?
他們今天早上還在我的淋浴間 They were in my shower this morning
和他們一起也挺開心的 I also quite fun
她來了 噢 謝謝你 There it is, thank you very much
嘿 泡泡 屁股扭得不錯 但你怎麼長了根尾巴 Good job with Bubbles that queue
這碰杯是因為看看你 Health to meet you
不 說真的 看看你 The real you because
因為你這次真的在看著我了 You know me my this time
你 You ...
有最漂亮的 Have the most wonderful ...
孩子 Offspring
-謝謝你 -說真的 Thanks - Seriously
你是一個好媽媽 You're a good mother also
你也是一個很棒的 媽媽 You also
我認了 Thanks
泰勒週六有場加時賽 Tyler has a set of series on Saturday
是麼 Yeah?
並且 Y. ..
我覺得 I believe that
真的是第一次 First
他不再那麼畏懼了 he want to actually be completely trying
多虧了你 Thank you
告訴你的 額 他的爸爸 Tell your father ...
他陪他練得越多 他就會越自信 The more you work with it, feel more confident
只要他振作起來 就越可能將球擊出去 And more will give increasingly to be there
嗯 好吧 Yeah, well ...
他爸爸對陪他訓練不感興趣 你知道的 If father was not very interested in that, you know?
因為要做到那樣 他就必須出現 Because to do that you must be present, but
而他最不擅長這個了 He does
為了孩子你必須出現 You have to be present for your children
做一個可依賴的家長是會很枯燥 It should be boring as reliable a parent
我覺得這很有趣 很多人無法理解 但你能 I know that many people do not understand
我的意思是 But if your
為了你的孩子必須得付出百分百的時間 Your children must come first 100% of the time
沒錯 99% Absolutely, 99%
剩下的1%去做自己喜歡的事 And 1% use it for do what we want
啊 老天 God
我都快忘了自己想要一件東西的感覺了 I've forgotten what it is want something
我只是隱約記得 I vaguely remember
那感覺不錯 It feels good
我做不到 I can not do this
我做不到 對不起 I can not, sorry
我真的 I really ...
不是你的問題 Are not you
我本以為我可以 但就是 I thought I could do it, it's just
這個也很抱歉 Sorry about that
沒事 它們還是很棒 Yet it is amazing
對不起 我這樣對你 I'm sorry I did that
他竟然沒有吻你 Did He do not kissed IT?
他是個白癡 He's an idiot
但是 你必須得承認 Although you must recognize
猴子拉小提琴那部分 that monkeys playing violins and stuff ...
真的很搞笑 It's hilarious
我還是不敢相信我們都找到了好男人 I can not believe we found
但是卻不能跟他們在一起 good types and we will not be with them
你要接嗎 Are you going to answer that?
嗨 我現在不方便接電話 Hi, is not a good time now
我很愛你 A word with you both
【我接下來還會愛你至少一個半小時】 I am gonna make L word to you for at least an hour and a half.
好的 Ok
是我媽媽 That was my mom
她現在情況挺好的 She is doing good
好吧 我給了迪克一個機會 Ok, I'll give Dick another chance
給他機會做什麼 讓他不要孩子嗎 Why?, Get rid of your children?
我要和他的孩子見面啦 I will know their children
你說的時候表情可不可以不要那麼扭曲 You should try to say that without both contort your face
我要和他的孩子見面啦 I will know their children
好點了 Best
吉姆的事我感到很遺憾 Sorry about Jim
我也是 Me too
你為什麼不吻她 哥們 Why do not you kiss her, man?
我不能 我只是 I could not
我害怕這是個錯誤 I was afraid that no right out
非洲都對你做了什麼 What have I done?
一點都不疼 That does not hurt enough
我已經在盡力了 坐在那兒別動 I do the best I can, sit still
-我看上去漂亮嗎 -你看上去很美 真的 Do I look pretty? - You look fantastic, if
耶 If
你看上去不錯 You look good
謝謝 Thanks
你去哪 Where are you going?
我去和傑克約會 I'll go on a date with Jake
你怎麼可能和他約會 他住在溫哥華 How can you do that? He lives in Vancouver
你好啊 弗裡德曼先生 Hello Mr. Freedman
你好 排骨人 Hi Skeletor
聽著 確保要有足夠的牛肉 說真的 她這周有選拔賽 Listen, I eat enough meat, has evidence this week
豬排 羊排 小牛肉 Pork chops, lamb,
-知道了 -就是這樣 Understood - That is
編垃圾嗎 Braids? Crooked?
-我不知道怎麼 -你做的真差 I do not know - You're terrible
我們什麼時候回來能再看到勞倫 So when returning to see Laurie?
你們之間肯定發生了什麼 Something happened between you?
不 你瘋了嗎 我們沒發生什麼 No, are you crazy? Nothing happened
爸爸 別裝了 我看到你看她的眼神 Dad going, I saw looked like
我也看到她看你的眼神 She also
這是不可否認的 你們都喜歡對方 Undeniably, you are infatuated each other
傑克 別插嘴 Jake, do not get
對不起啦先生 Sorry sir
難道你們除了看別人 Do not they have anything
怎麼看對方就沒有別的事要做嗎 better to do than watch how people look?
而且 那我應該怎麼做 What should I do?, Change all
改變我們以往的生活僅僅因為我愛她 our lives just because I'm in love with her?
太好了 Yes!
好浪漫 So romantic!
愛她就冒一次險 Take the risk
追她回來 Go for it!
我知道我讓你覺得很困惑 I know you're confused
我只是必須弄清楚 I had to make
為了我老婆我女兒 For my wife and my daughters
為了你的孩子 還為了你 And for your children and for you
所以讓我們坦誠相待 I just do not have lies
上次在貓頭鷹餐廳是我 It was I who drank your beer
喝了你的啤酒 In Hooters
我不知道我為什麼那麼做 我在那可以喝免費啤酒 And you know why I did it?, I get beer Free trip so ...
我只是緊張了 I just panicked
有事嗎 Yeah?
這裡是323號，對嗎 It is the 323, right?
是啊 If
我找勞倫 Lauren was looking for
我也是 You and me too
吉姆 Jim!
棒球手 看看你 Boy, look at you!
我媽不在家 Mom is not home
這是我爸 This is my father
馬克 Mark
對 你是誰 Yeah, who are you?
吉姆 那次旅行的那個酷男 Jim, the great type of safari
你想跟我一起投球嗎 Want rodar me some balls?
我相信你爸爸會和你一起玩的 Surely your father wants do that with you
不 他不願意的 Not to
不不 我願意 去拿你的球棒 棒球手 No, no, go get your bat boy
嘿 我們可以一起玩 Hey, we can all play
我去拿布蘭登的棒球手套 他從來沒用過 Brendan has an extra glove never use it
那孩子 一直在講非洲之旅 He has not stopped talking that trip to Africa
你的孩子很棒 Your children are amazing
是啊 If
所以我和勞倫 一直在 你知道的 盡力復合 So it is that Lauren and I tried make things work again
為了他們 For them
我不知道這事 I did not know that
這樣啊 If
我會告訴她你來過 I'll tell you came
我會把這束花放在臥室 I will put these in the Room
就在我們的愛床旁邊 Next to where we make love
好吧 Ok
幫我跟泰勒說拜拜 Tell Tyler to say goodbye
吉姆去哪 Where does Jim?
他有事做吧 我猜 Change your mind, I guess
那你還會陪我玩麼 Can we play the two, then?
會啊 當 If course
噢 電話救了我 I except the hood
嘿，怎麼了 Hello how are you?
嗨 Hello
噢 嗨 Hello
你這是要拍GQ雜誌封面嗎 Will they do a photo shoot GQ here?
哦 不是的 我只是 Oh no, I'm just ...
放鬆一下 Chillin
對不起我這麼久才回來 Sorry it took me long
謝謝你照看孩子 But thanks for caring for children
現在我回來了 我想你也有其他事要做 所以 I finished and I guess you have somewhere to go so ...
你怎麼總是能看起來那麼美 How is it that you always see so well?
是嗎 Yeah?
如果是說我三天沒洗頭的話 真感謝你注意到了 I have not washed my hair in three days, thanks for noticing
你真幽默 You're so funny
我很難想像你會跟其他人在一起 It's hard for me to imagine with someone else
是麼 Really?
那對你來說 當時想像你自己背叛我 It was not so hard to imagine you same with someone else
應該也不難吧 When I cheated
不管我說什麼你總是扯到那個 No matter what I always say salts with that
我說 嘿 看看那棟房子 You might say, "Hey look at that house"
然後你就會說 我們以前住那種房子的時候 你背叛了我 And you say, "We lived in a home when I cheated "
或者我說 幫我遞一下拿瓶醃黃瓜 你就會說 Or you could say, "Pass the pickle" And you say
一些關於醃黃瓜和你背叛的事 Something about the Gherkin and I cheated
和你一起說笑真的很有趣 勞倫 It's fun to laugh with you again, Lauren
我們應該一直這麼下去 We should do that all along
你帶花來了 Did you bring flowers?
是的 If
你為什麼要帶花來 Why did you bring flowers?
因為鮮花贈美人 Because you deserve flowers
勞倫 你去非洲的時候 我想了很多 Lauren, when you go to Africa,i think much
你和我一起經歷了那麼多事 You and I have so much history together
-還有兩個孩子 -還有一個接待員 Two children - A receptionist
勞倫 我是犯了一次錯 Listen, I made a mistake!
我知道的都至少有四次 At least four errors of which I am aware
那也是犯過 那是過去式 "I made", past tense
我以前是個混蛋 He was a jerk
勞倫 Lauren
你是我生命中最美好的事物 You're the best thing in my life
你和孩子們都是 You and the kids
並且孩子也需要父親 And the kids need their parents
他們是需要父親 This is
我知道我是一個合格的父親 I know I'm a good father
我只是需要時間去證明 I just need to prove it
噢 你可以啊 現在不算晚 You can do it, it is not too late
那這個呢 Is it too late ...
會晚嗎 For this?
你在做什麼 What are you doing?
我回來了 寶貝 I'm coming home, baby
馬克 離我遠點 Mark, stay away
你不住這裡了 You do not live here anymore
是因為其他人嗎 Is there anyone else?
不是 而且這也不關你事 No and it does not concern you anyway
你不是想做個好爸爸嗎 Interested in being a good parent?
泰勒週六有場比賽 你去啊 Tyler has a game on Saturday, go see
爸爸 Daddy?
不好意思 我不想把你吵醒的 Apology not want to wake
睡覺之前我和媽媽講過話了 I was talking to mom before sleep
恩 Y. ..
她說 She said that
她有許多事要做 I had many things to do
這樣嗎 Yeah?
是的 所以 If, then ...
她可能不能那麼經常呆在這了 May no longer be able to be here a while
好吧 Ok
她還說你會把我的零花錢增加到5美元 He also said he You will increase my counter for $ 5
她很慷慨 It is very generous
我只是 I just ...
我不想她離開我 I do not want to disappear
寶貝 Affection
她不會離開你 She never disappear
永遠不會 Never, ever
你可以讓她走 但是她永遠都在這裡 You can let her go, she will always be here
我也會一直陪著你 我向你保證 And I'll always be here, I promise
還有就是 Certainly
媽媽喜歡那趟非洲之旅 Mom loved the trip Africa
我也是 Me too
我很想她 I missed her
你媽媽是最棒的 Your mother was the best
我說的是勞倫 I mean Lauren
我也是 Me too
我們不需要讓她走 對嗎 Do not let go too, right?
過來 Come here
布蘭登 不要忘了我會接你去童子軍那 Brendan do not forget that you gather to go to scouts
所以不用乘巴士回家了 So do not take the bus home
謝謝你讓所有人都知道我還是一個童子軍 媽媽 Thanks for telling everyone that still in scouts, Mom
你是個好孩子 要為你自己驕傲 You're a good boy, Be proud of who you are
你敢說一個字你就死定了 Say the word and you're dead
你竟然開著小型房車 Driving a minivan
是迪克的 It's Dick
我要去幫西奧多波裡斯團隊買衛生紙 I'm going to buy toilet paper Tim Theodopolis
當團隊需要的時候 隊長夫人就會去買回來 還有 相信我 When Tim needed, the captain goes with him and believe me
這些孩子就沒停過拉屎 These children never stop going to the bathroom
孩子需要拉屎 Children in need
需要我幫你從沃爾瑪帶點東西嗎 Need some ... Wal-Mart?
不用 I'm fine
家長會上見 See you at the parent meeting
好的 小狐狸 Ok, Foxy
這樣很棒 親愛的 This is so good, honey
這就是家庭 This is family
這對我來說也很有趣 This is fun for me
做得好啊 爸爸 Well done, Dad
下一個是23號 擊球手 Now the batter with number 23
泰勒 雷諾茲 Tyler Reynolds
嘿 這可不友善 Hey that's not nice
閉嘴 那個孩子太糟糕了 Shut up, that child is terrible
泰勒加油 Let Tyler!
特雷西 Tracy!
你的頭怎麼也來了 What makes your head here?
一振 Strike 1!
馬克沒來我表示很抱歉 Sorry Mike did not come
他就是不能明白這個道理 I do not understand your
你的孩子永遠都是第一位並且需要花費百分百的時間 children have first to be 100% of the time
好吧 99%吧 1%留給你自己 Well 99% and you're left with 1% for you
這真是好消息啊 That's good news
不管怎麼樣 你必須得為了你的孩子現身 No matter what, you must be there for your children
像他那樣 As
沒事 泰勒 加油 棒球手 Let Tyler, Big Time
你看起來很棒 Looking good there!
抬高你的肘部 Raise your elbow
抬肘 Elbow up
不可思議 Incredible
加油 泰勒 Let Tyler
二振 Strike 2
沒事 沒事 All right, all right!
做得好 Nice turn
再慢一點 Turn down the speed a little
膝部彎曲 Bend those knees
注意重心 好嗎 And rock, ok?
放輕鬆 就這樣 Take it easy, that's
抬高手肘 高點 再高一點 Upload, the higher
記住 那個眼神 Remember, look bad
那個鬍鬚小子害怕了 The mustache was frightened
泰勒 加油 Let Tyler!
深呼吸 Take them deep.
你做到了 You gave!
跑 泰勒 跑 Tyler Run! Run!
繼續跑 兄弟 跑 Follows, we will
快跑 Come on!
不要猶豫 加油 快跑 Go on, come on, do not stop
跑向我 棒球手 Come to my
泰勒加油 Go ahead, Tyler
我們要回到本壘了 寶貝 Come home, friend
要回到本壘了 Let's go home!
安全上壘 A safe!
你相信奇跡會發生麼 Do you believe in miracles?
那才是我弟弟 That's my brother!
謝謝你 Thank you.
這才是你的真本事 棒球手 You did good, Big Time
我的天哪 Oh my God
你在做什麼 What are you doing?
我愛你 I love you!
那實在是太棒了 That was amazing
我很抱歉這樣出現 我那天去了你家 I was so sorry. to appear in your house the other day and
我看見泰勒想要練習的時候 你前夫拒絕了他 I saw your ex husband say no to Tyler when he wanted to practice
我知道你們正在試圖復合 但我真的很傷心 I know you try to fix you but things that broke my heart
我們沒有復合 那永遠不可能 We're not fixing anything, that will never happen
真的麼 Really?
你去我家做什麼 What are you doing in my house?
我去跟你說 I went on to say that
我覺得現在可以了 I think it's fine now
什麼可以了 Ok, what else?
我們可以擁有那珍貴的1%的時間 That's okay to have one of those very rare moments
去尋找我們想要的東西 Where to get what we want
那我們想要什麼 What do we want?
你知道我們想要什麼 You know what we want
是啊 If
我覺得孩子們也想要 I think the guys also want
肯定沒有我那麼急切 小塌肩 Not as much as I, small shoulders
等等 Waiting
我不能這麼做 I can not do this
你在和我開玩笑嗎 You are kidding
必須是啊 我得報復你在非洲對我做的事 Sure, I had to take revenge at Africa
來吧 Come here
你知道嗎 You know what?
你媽媽很性感 Your mom is sexy
你爸爸也很性感 Your dad is also
啊不是 不是性感 No sexy
來吧 我得給你好好按摩 Come on you deserve a massage.