噢 我没有开玩笑 Yeah, I'm not kidding
这就是那个彬彬有礼的男士带我来的地方 Here is where this type Elegant brought me
是的,你没听错 Yes, you heard me
猫头鹰餐厅 Hooters!
这是我离婚后的第一次约会 This is the first date I've been on since I divorced.
然后他带我去了猫头鹰餐厅 And the guy brings me to a Hooters
泰勒在睡觉 Is Tyler asleep??
哦 是的 Oh, yeah!
他没有一直在睡觉 Not all the way.
他在干嘛 What is he doing?
T恤着火了 T-shirts on fire!
他为什么那么唱 Why is he singing that?
好了 灭了 All right, it's all good.It's out
什么 What's out?
我要回家 I'm going home
那真是个好主意 Maybe that's not actually a bad idea.
好了 计划是这样的 Ok, here's the plan
你十分钟之后打给我 You are gonna call me in 10 minutes
让我来告诉那个傻蛋 我有急事 So I can tell this fool that I have an emergency
你现在可以给我冲凉了吗 Can you give me my bath now?
我还是五分钟后打给你吧 Make it five minutes
给你点了一份水牛城炸虾 Got you a Buffalo shrimps
酱汁在旁边 平时他们就是这样给我搭配的 With the sauce on the side, they’ll do that for me here
我不知道你想怎么吃 I don't know how you take it so
你有没有意识到 你都没有直视我 You realize that you are not looking at my face now?
那上面有非常刺激的比赛 我不想错过 A very tight game up on there, I do not want to miss it
-嗨 金 – 嘿 金 Hi Jim - Hello Jim
这里 Here
心形芝士棒 Cheese Sticks ,in the shape of heart
我，班尼 蒂芙妮，布兰妮做的 From me, Bunny, Tiffany and Britney
谢谢你们 泡泡女孩 Thank you , Bubbles
你们真好 You’re very nice
玩得开心 Have fun
嘿 我倒是注意到了 你刚才直视那些女孩儿了 Hey I noticed you made eye contact with Bubbles
但是她们在看哪儿我就不知道了 But I'm not sure where her eyes were looking at
那么 So ...
你靠整理衣橱维持生计 You organize closets for a living
是的 Yes
要找到不会自己整理 Is it hard to find people
衣橱的人难吗 who can not organize their own closets?
你们是怎么找到的 How does that work?
不是他们自己不会做 Well it's not that they can not do it themselves
而是他们没有时间或者不能高效地整理 They just do not have time or they don't do it efficiently
你是从整理手套格开始 Did you start with organizing glove compartments
然后一路向上 还是 And you walk your way up from there or ...?
抱歉 我知道我做的不好 I'm sorry, I know this is not going well
我有20多年没有约会了 I have not been on a date in 20 years
我大四之后就没约会过 I have not been on a date since senior year
你在大学就结婚了 You married in college?
是的 Yes
我也是 Me too
-真的 -嗯 -Really? –yes
这难道不是世界上最奇怪的事吗 Is this not the weirdest feelings in the world right now?
和怪异科学中的怪艾尔一样 Like weird AL starring in weird science
是的 我喜欢这句话 Yes, I like that
你忽然想到的 You just came out with that?
是的 Yes
太好了 Very good
你知道吗 我想要吃一个水牛城炸虾 You know, I think I'll have one of these Buffalo shrimps
蘸点酱 And I'll have it with the sauce
太棒了 Excellent
太辣了 It's hot
噢，我的天 谁做的酱这么辣 Oh my God, who made sauce hot?
你喝了我的酒 Did you drank my beer?
不 我觉得应该是你喝了 No, I think you did
泡泡女孩们 班尼 布兰妮 给我点水 Bubbles, Bunny, Britney can you get me some water?
喝点法国洋葱汤 Have some French onion soup
跟你说 我很好奇 You know, I'm curious
那么多可能的原因中 你妻子是因为哪一个离你而去 With so many possible reasons, Which one is the one your wife leave you for?
癌症 Cancer
对不起 Sorry
我 I ...
我很自然地设想你离婚了 Naturally just assumed you were divorced
没关系 It’s Ok
我很自然地设想你丈夫饮弹自尽，所以 I naturally assume that your husband shot himself so ...
我们扯平了 We're even
我得接个电话 I must take this
你好 Hello
冷静 Calm down!
有雪崩 在我们后院 An avalanche, in our backyard?
我马上回家 I'll be home right away
抱歉 有急事 It's an emergency, sorry
20元应该够付我的那半 20 dollars should cover my half
他用了你的借口 说有急事 He used the emergency excuse on you?
说的好像他是必须逃走的那一个 Like he is the one that had to escape
好像我才是那个很糟糕的人 Like I am horrible
好了，每个人都有失败的相亲 而这次是你 Well everyone has a bad blind date story and this loser was yours
谁安排的相亲 Who set you up?
泰勒班上的一个母亲 One of the mothers in Tyler's class
每次我见到她 Every time I see her
她就讲她的朋友吉姆 she tells me about her "Friend Jim"
我说，我必须见见吉姆 Oh，I just have to “meet Jim”
她是个骗子和白痴 She is a liar and an idiot
你应该给她下药然后剃光她的头 You should roofie her and shave her head
迪克 Dick??
你好 Hello
我方便啊 在工作而已 I can talk, I'm just at work
这下好了 Great
我知道 我很疼的 I know, I'm so sore
我也爱你 I love you too
好的 待会打给你 再见 Ok, talk to you later, bye
你刚才是不是对迪克说 爱 字了 Did you just use the L word with Dick?
我们昨晚就说了 We said it last night
珍 Jen
太好了 你为什么不告诉我 That's great, why did not you tell me?
你知道的 你终于去约会了 You know, you finally went on a date
那么糟 And it was so awful
我的意思是你会感觉更孤单 I don't want to make you feel lonelier than you probably already feel
实际上我很好 我一点都不孤独 I'm fine actually, I'm not lonely
我生活中有两个好男人 I have two wonderful men in my life
布兰登和泰勒 Brendan and Tyler
布兰登需要女朋友，泰勒需要镇静剂 Brendan needs a girlfriend and Tyler needs withering
你在旁敲侧击要用滚床单和毒品 You’re suggesting sex and drugs
来挽救我孩子 are the remedy for my children's behavior
我的天 这是我梦寐以求的裙子 Oh my God this is a dress I've been wanting for ever
什么 What?
不 No
谁有那么多钱 Who has that kind of money?
迪克 Dick
试一下 绝对的辣妈款 Try it on .This is totally a Milf dress
我们不试穿客户的衣服 We did not try on the clients’ clothes
这是我们的卖点之一 It is one of our selling points
当我们整理你的衣橱的时候绝不穿你的内衣 We won't wear your underwear while we are organizing your closet
我只是说说而已 I'm just saying
继续工作 Back to work
我认为在这个衣橱下面 I think right at the bottom of this shelf
我们可以放鞋和储藏 珍 We can put shoes and store... Jen!
坎耶，来换宝宝的尿片 Kanye come and change the baby
诺斯尿湿了,我不想再带她去照相了 North is wet and I don't want to drive her to camera again
脱掉它 Ok, take it off
不 No
看 这格的衣服甚至还都有价格标签 Look, this whole rack still has a price tag on
严格来说，她还没有真正拥有这些衣服 Technically she hasn’t taken the ownership yet
此外，她还在网球俱乐部 Besides she is at the tennis club
现在试试这个 Now try this on
这件衣服 能把被男人骗的女人变成 This dress can change a woman from the type of man she is on
诱惑男人的女人 To the type of man she is with
我要去小便 I am gonna go pee
贵的 贵的 Expensive, expensive
最贵的 Most expensive
我不知道你穿上会那么漂亮 I did not know you are gonna look that good in it
宝贝 怎么了 Honey, what's wrong?
我本应该更努力的 I should have tried harder
我本应该穿得更性感点 I should have dressed sexier
你没有做错 马可就是一头猪 You did't do anything wrong, Mark is a pig
孩子们不知道 Children do not know that
他们只是 They just ...
他们想要我们重新在一起 They want us to get back together
我不知道怎么向他们解释 I do not know how to explain it to them
是时候让他们知道他们的爸爸是废物 It's time for them to know that their dad is a big pie of crap
太郁闷了 I get depressed
我必须穿性感高跟鞋 I need to wear high sexy heels
别跑步了 - 它有帮助 - Stop jogging - It helps
你要吓坏我了 It's freaking me out
看 Look
我太滑稽了 I'm ridiculous
过来 Come here
我支持你 Jen got you
现在我明白了人们为什么叫你衣橱女王 Now I see why they call you closet queens
- 晒照片 - 发微博 - Instagram - Facebook
太棒了 Yes!
真是个烂借口 哥们 完全是八竿子打不着啊 It was horrible, man, there was no connection at all
我很高兴 你想到了雪崩 I was so happy when you came up with the Avalanche thing
你救了我的命 That saved my life
她穿得像个副校长 And the way she dressed was like an assistant principal or something
搞得我觉得放学后会被留堂似的 I thought I was in detention
我有个女人介绍给你 –是吗 I got a girl for you - Yes?
我舞蹈班上的金发女郎 A blond lady, from the belly dancing class
有点微胖 A little bit on the process
但是当她动起来 那个波涛汹涌啊 But when she gets to move all flapping can make it happen
这个大块头的女人让你感觉飓风来了那样在动 That big girl hit that floor like a hurricane
我落伍了 兄弟 我再也不约会了 I am out , man. No more dates for me
我应该把时间和金钱花在女儿身上 It is time and money that be spending with my daughters
看！谁来了 Look who it is
嘿，拉里 我的大明星 Hey Lary！ My own star！
- 来 击个掌 –希拉里 爸爸 已经够糟了 Give me some – Hilary! dad !Which is bad enough
你打算让我一直把手悬着吗 Are you going to leave me hanging?
猜猜 有什么好消息 新的科迪亚克帐篷到了 Guess what, the new Kodiak tents just arrived
正好春假时候 In time for Spring break
我们今年又要去后院露营吗 We are going camping in our backyard again this year?
怎么了 你长大了不想玩了吗 Why?, Are you too old for that?
不 我班上的同学 No, it's some guys in my class
去弗罗里达或科罗拉多 甚至是瑞士 are going to Florida or Colorado or even Switzerland
好吧 你们的同学都是高富帅白富美 Ok, you got a lot of rich kids in your school
我还能怎样 我们没有那么多钱 What do you want from me? We do not have that kind of money
我知道 能去别的地方就好了 I know, but just be nice go some place
你知道带她去哪里不会很贵吗 You know where you can take them and is cheap?
我的肚皮舞班 My belly dacing class
收起来吧 我说真的 Put that away, seriously
打扰了 先生 Excuse me sir
我是来拿我的篮球校服的 I'm here to pick up my basketball uniform
你刚才是不是叫我“先生” Did you just call me "Sir"?
是的 Yeah
我是女生 I am a girl
那是个相当丑的女生 That's a rather ugly girl
嘿，朋友 那是他女儿 Hey man, it's his daughter
嘿，宝贝 你的数学作业怎么样了 Hey sweetie, how is your math homework coming?
补习老师有作用吗 Is any of the tutor shortcuts helping?
你约会了吗 You went out on a date?
约会 谁告你我约会了 A date? Who told you I went on a date?
你该换邮箱密码了 You should change your email password
072099小姐 Miss 072 099
这是我最后一次用你的生日做密码了 That's the last time I use your birthday as key
我不敢相信你竟然偷看我的邮件 I can not believe you read my post
布兰登 我爱你 Brendan, I love you
但我们得学会尊重彼此的隐私 But we have to learn to respect privacy in this house another
吉姆是谁 Who is Jim?
他谁也不是 亲爱的 No, honey
他只是个逗乐小丑 A jester
相信我 Believe
什么事情都没有 It was nothing
-你发誓 -我发誓 Promise? - I promise
嘿 不能在家里玩滑轮 Hey no wheels at home
我说过的 Like I said
抓住他 妈妈 balo mom, dale
你和你爸爸是不是在回家路上去吃了冰淇淋 Your dad took you for ice cream back home?
-打他屁股 -巧克力雪糕上海撒了薄荷巧克力碎片 Give a spanking - Chocolate chip
-打趴他 -我站在了世界之巅 噢耶 Throw it down! - I'm on top of the world!
-哈哈 -你死定了 Yes! - You're dead!
不要再捏乳头了 你俩调皮鬼 Stop twisting the nipples
人身上就两个乳头 Only have two for the rest of their lives
你们得尊重好爱惜好它们 They have to learn to love and respect them
我一直都这样 I always did
我告诉你多少次了 How many times have I told you
在你送他回来不要给他吃高糖分的东西 Do not fill it with sugar before you drop him off?
别这样 跟爸爸出去吃冰淇淋蛋卷 Come on, out with dad for an ice cream cone
可以让孩子回味很久呢 It is a durable memory for a child
哦 好啊 Oh, ok good if
如果爸爸能花多点时间陪他 Dad spent more time with him
他就不用去一直回味这个了 The memories would not have to be as "Durable"
又被抓到了 和你呆在一起的时间真愉快 劳伦 Got me again, it's so nice spending time with Lauren
包不是放在那的 That's not their place
我们该怎么办 What do we do?
哦 糟了 它要爆炸了 三 二 谢天谢地 It will explode in 3, 2 ... thank God
太危险了 It was close
将近一分钟的混乱状态 Almost was disorganized for one minute
-你好 -你最近过得怎么样 Hello - How are you?
挺好的 泰勒星期六有比赛你要去吗 Well, are you going to party Tyler on Saturday?
去啊 当然要去 Yes!, Of course!
太棒了 我要把你放下来 Great, I'll write down
你最在行了 It's what you do best
我是说放在板上 马克 在板上 Mark on the Board, on the Board
劳伦 孩子不需要黑板 不需要你列清单 Lauren kids do not need a blackboard, need a list
他们知道可以指望我 就这样 They know they can count on me, that's all
爸爸 你可以帮我完成作业吗 Dad, can you help me with my homework?
噢 我不行 哥们 对不起 我有事要做 Oh, sorry I can't.I have to go to a "Thing"
问你妈妈吧 这并不能证明什么 Ask your mother, this does not prove my behavior
你走了吗 Is he gone?
-拉里 你想要去打篮球吗 -爸 Hilary? Want to go to ...? - Dad!
出去 Get out
你干嘛不敲门 Why wouldn't you knock?
对不起 宝贝 我什么都没看到 Sorry, did not see anything
噢 真是谢谢你 Thank you very much
不 不 不 No, no, no
有大把好看的 There was plenty to see
我只是没看见什么胶体的东西 I just do not see anything weird
-碰个拳怎么样 -不要 What if bumped fists? - No
拉里 我们都需要来一个 Both need
我们没事了 We are good
嘿 这里面什么情况 hey,how are we doing in here?
我在和妈妈说话 I'm talking to mom
太好了 你们说了什么 Great, what do they talk?
女生的话题 Things Girl
好吧 只是想让你知道我也很会聊女生的话题 Ok, so you know me too I'm good with girly things
抱歉 等我一下 Excuse me a moment
谢谢你 爸爸 但是 Thanks Dad, but
我只想和妈妈说 I just want to talk to Mom
那行 那行 Sure,sure
代我向她问好 Greet her from me
我没有贴纸了 I already ran out of stickers
你的脸也快贴完了 你怎么了 Now you're out the face, What happened to you?
现在我可以和奥斯本一起玩吗 Can I play with Espn now?
奥斯本想静静地呆着 Espn is on her time alone
和隐形的妈妈在一起 With Mom invisible?
是的 我们看不见 Invisible, yes
-只有奥斯本一个人能看得见 这不公平 -我知道 How can you see it? - I know
我真希望我能看到妈妈 I wish I could see her
我也是 Me too
来 木哇 Come here
-吃奶酪通心粉吗 -奶酪通心粉 Macaroni and cheese? - Macaroni and Cheese
好的 Yes!
我是说 他在到处看 到处找你 He's looking around, looking for you
你明明知道是今天 我都标记在日历上了 You knew it was today I put on the calendar
劳伦 开会的时间比我估计的长 你想我怎么样 Lauren,the meeting is longer than I expected. what do you want from me?
我只是想要你当好爸爸就可以了 我受不了了 You know what, I just want you to be a dad
你为什么不去附近的小吃店 Why do not you go to the
问问有没有镇定药卖 cafeteria to see if they sell "Tranquilizer pills"?
镇定药 "Tranquilizer pills"?
你怎么不滚回九十年代 Why do not you go back to 1990?
你居然来看棒球赛 You are at a baseball game?
我要和迪克去神秘旅行 I'm going on a mystery tour Dick
听起来很棒啊 That's great
我根本不知道我们要去哪 他太多奇思妙想了 I have no idea where we're going, he is so funny
我好激动 I'm so excited
接下来出场的是 23号击球手 泰勒雷诺兹 Tyler Reynolds!
加油 泰勒 Well, go Tyler!
-加油 泰勒 -让这孩子上场 go Tyler - This bat boy?
这是规定 每个孩子都得参加两局 Well, everyone has to play
就算是他这样子的孩子都可以上 Even kids like him
你最好闭上你的鸟嘴 Best you shut
要不然我把整个拳头塞进你嘴里 Or I'll put my whole fist in your mouth
那个投手多少岁 他看起来像个纳斯卡赛车手 How old is this pitcher? Looks like a Nascar driver
-一振 -要不要这样 -Strike - Come
没事的 宝贝 振作起来 It's ok , honey.Shake it off.
噢 不 他要崩溃了吗 Do not give you attack it?
不 他还有两次机会 没事的 No, you have two more chances will be fine
好了 我现在该走了 Ok, I better go now then
噢 对了 我需要休一个星期假 By the way, I need a week off
噢 好 没问题 假期是什么时候 Yeah sure, when's the vacation?
从今天起两个星期 Two weeks from today
等一下 这可不行 Wait,no, that's not gonna work
因为现在是春假 我要照顾孩子们 It's spring break and I've gotta take care of the boys
-二振 -什么 Strike 2 - What?
没事的 宝贝 你可以的 It is ok sweetie, you got this
等这孩子出局的时候看下他会怎样 Check out what happens when the kid strikes out
如果你不马上闭嘴我会打死你 If you do not shut up now I will destroy you
他妈的混蛋 Fucking asshole
我还以为马克会带孩子们去漂流 I thought Mark would come to the game
噢 真是意外啊 他取消了 For variety, canceled
出差 Business trip?
现在我绞尽脑汁在想一个比那更好的计划 Now I am racking my head to figure out how to compete with that
你没办法 没时间了 You won't,there is no time
为什么我们都要呆在家里呢 Why not stay home?
你是世界上最好的伙伴 You're the best business partner ever
-三振出局 -我讨厌死这样了 Strike three - I hate this
我好逊 I suck!
天哪 又来了 Oh God, here we go again
也许你们应该试试羽毛球 Maybe you should try badminton
也许你该试试漱口剂 Maybe you should try mouth-wash
-除臭剂 -和睾丸酮补充剂 And deodorant - And some testosterone supplement
还有伟哥 And some viagra
我猜的 I'm just assuming
还要刮一下你脖子 And shave your neck
它好多毛 It is very hairy
什么 What?
不 Not
该死的 Damn it
-爹地 -嗯 Daddy? - Yes
你想念妈咪的什么 What do you miss about Mommy?
我想念妈咪的什么 What do I miss about mommy
全部 Everything
我想念她的大笑 I miss her laugh
她的微笑 And her smile
我想念她遗传给你的小鼻子 And I miss his little nose that she gave to you
幸好你没有遗传我的 要不然你看起来就会很奇怪 Luckily you did not inherit mine . Or you'd look very weird
是啊 Yeah
我想念我们每次看奥兹国的女巫的时候 I miss every time we saw movies
-我很爱那部电影 -我知道 - I love that movie - I know
她会给我们唱里面所有的歌 She would sing all the songs to us
特别是那首 彩虹之上 Especially "Somewhere over the rainbow "
你知道我最想念什么吗 You know what's the most I miss about her?
什么 What?
告诉她我有多爱她 forgetting to tell her how much I love her
你被允许对其他人做这件事吗 Are you are allowed to do that with someone else?
我被允许吗 Am I allowed?
你妈妈临走之前 Your mother, before she left
一直在叫我 All she was talking about is
去找另一个 me finding somebody else
但我告诉她我不能 因为她是我唯一的最爱 But I told her I can't because she is my one and only
妈咪怎么说 What did Mommy say?
你妈妈说 Your mom said
我的心很大 My heart is so big
大到足够容纳两个人 that it has room for two
这是我想念你妈妈的另一个地方 That's another thing I miss about your mother
她真的认为我很厉害 She actually thought I was awesome
我觉得你很厉害 爹地 I think you're awesome, daddy
谢谢 Thanks
嘿 爸爸 额 Daddy?
我有些私事 然后我需要借你的车 I have a personal effand and I need to borrow the car
这样 我不在的时候你还不能开 Well, you can not drive without me yet
而且必须有人在这里陪着你妹妹 And somebody has to stay here with your sisters
爸 我有 私事 Dad, I have a "Personal errand"
那是什么意思 你要去打某个人吗 What does that even mean? Are you taking a hit out on somebody?
爸爸 她来大姑妈了 Dad, she is menstruating
-什么 -我来例假了 What? - I have my period!
噢 我忘了你会有这些 I forgot you get those
珍珠卫生棉 Tampax Pearl
清洗液 清新气味 Refreshing
含药 和 甜蜜浪漫 Medicated and sweet romance
好的 现在我们还不需要甜蜜浪漫 Yes, let's not be doing this romance quite yet
体蔚女性清洁剂 Poisw feminine wash, Poise
体慰 这发音有点接近了 伙计 Poise??, That's a little close ,guy
永洁 Always clean?
其实我也能用用 I could actually use those
女神杯 是什么 拿来冲咖啡的吗 What is a Diva cup? Is that to make coffee?
我不明白 I don't know
你们用哪种的 What kind do you guys use?
-不 -你好 No! - Hello
不要告诉我 Do not tell me
-劳伦 -劳伦 Lauren - Lauren
猫头鹰先生 Mr Hooters
吉姆 Jim
你的毛衣里面有什么吗 What's going on in the sweater?
就是为了杂志么 Just for the articles?
不 其实这些是 No, these are actually um
给我的儿子的 for my son
哇 好前卫的妈妈 What a progressive mother
我在他床底发现一张裸体插页 然后我把它撕掉了 I found a couple of pages under bed and I tore it up
杂志上的 不是网上的 From a magazine? Not the internet?
他很守旧派 我很尊敬这点 It's old school, I respect that
你为什么要撕了 Why did you tear it up?
因为作为一个女人 我觉得被冒犯了 Because I was a woman, I was totally offended
你不需要如此 这是成长中的正常阶段 You do not have to be, it's normal part of growing up
好吧 但他把我们家保姆的脸部照片贴了上去 Ok, but he takes a picture of our babysitter's head on it
好 这就是病了 得治 Ok, that's sick. He needs help
差不多要成神经病了 It is on the verge of insanity
噢真好笑 如果你有孩子你才会明白 -三个女儿 Funny, if you had kid you would understand - Three daughters
这很复杂 Shit
你有三个女儿 You have three daughters?
是的 你还有其他小孩还是只有这个自慰者 Yes, do you have another child or just the masturbator?
他有个弟弟 He has a younger brother
啊哈 也许你能好好教育那个小的 Maybe you'll do a better job with that kid
我只是在开玩笑 I'm just joking
那怎样 你准备趁他发现之前放回去吗 So what? Are you here to replace it before the kid finds out?
是 但我不知道是哪本杂志 我只 Yes, but I can not tell what magazine that's from, I just ...
你还有那张插页的碎片吗 Have some leftover image?
嗯 我有 Yes , I do
我 额 我试着粘回去 I tried to tape it back
做得很好 我几乎看不出来 You did a great job, I can hardly tell
快照杂志 Snapper Magazine
你怎么知道 How can you tell?
从书钉的位置看出来的 From the the staples' place
还有纸张的质感 And the way the paper feel
而且我家里也有一本 and I already have thia copy at home
要不要击个拳 What if bumped fists?
没错 就是这本 Yeah, that's the one
听着 我想有件事我们能互相帮助 Listen, I found that something could help us both
也能免去一些尴尬 And save some of our embarrassment
我带这个去收银员那 你替我拿这个 I'll bring that to the cashier and you bring this up for me
这是给你女儿的吗 Are these for your daughter?
是啊 她15岁了 她的 好朋友 刚刚来访 yeah,she is 15 and her friend just pay a visit
好吧 这个是给更年老的 朋友 的 Ok, well these are for a much older friend
那种呆在比你女儿的更大一点的 空间 里 A much heavier friend staying in a much bigger room
的重量级 朋友 than your daughter has
你在说啥 You lost me
我知道你在说啥了 噢 You found me
-我能击你的拳吗 -不 Can I get a bump? - No
好 我们去结账吧 Ok, let's do this
-总共13块 -嗨 我是汤姆 They will be $ 13 - Hello, I'm Tom
-你的零钱 -嗨 我是汤姆 Here is your change - Hello, I'm Tom
嗯 你告诉过我了 yah you've told me
下一个 Next
我还记得用薄舒宝的时光 I remember these days
你肯定在做运动吧 You must be doing your exercising
现在 我需要六张这种叠在一起 Nowadays I need six of these taped together
好的 继续吧 Ok, moving on ...
周六晚的疯狂对吧 哈 小左手 Rock on Saturday hours, huh leftie?
不是我的 这是给她的孩子的 That's not mine, that's for her child
哦 真前卫的妈妈 Pretty progressive mom
是的 我也是这么说的 Yes, that's what I said to her too
她很重视她的家庭教育 所以 She just takes it for home schooling , very seriously, that's why
我们能把这些拿走了吗 Can I have those?
她要回家教育孩子了 所以 She has to go home with the child and get it started, so ...
保重 take care
好 If
嗨 我是汤姆 Hi, I'm Tom
十分谢谢你出卖了我 Thanks a lot for selling me out back
噢 她甚至都没在听 She didn't even hear about
-对不起 我紧张了 -噢 看出来了 - I am panicked,I am sorry - Oh ,I noticed
谢谢 Thank you
我不敢相信你有三个女儿 I can not believe you have three girls
你想说什么 What does that even mean?
我只是没法想象你身边有三个女儿 I just can't imagine you have three girls
那就别想 Don't then
对不起 她们叫什么名 Sorry, what are their names?
希拉里 卢 还有艾斯本 Hilary, Lou and Espn
艾斯本 Espn
很特别 它是出自圣经吗 It is unique, is it biblical?
不 No
依据我最爱的广播网起的 Named that after my favorite net work
-不是吧 -真的 - Not - Yeah
-什么 What?
很酷吧 Pretty cool
我的天 Omg
你的妻子一定是个圣人 Your wife must have been a saint
她是 She was
你的丈夫肯定非常冷静地处理那个 Your husband must be very patient dealing with ...
芝士棒队长的又一个迷人观点 Another charming sentiment from Captain cheese sticks
你知道吗 猫头鹰餐厅 You know what, Hooters is
对你来说太好了 我不会再带你去了 too good for you.I'll never bring you there again
好吧 那我可要学着习惯没有猫头鹰餐厅的生活了 Well ,then I guess I'll have to learn to get through life without Hooters
你一直都做得很好 You 've been doing a pretty damn good job so far!
这说不通 This doesn't make any sense
我没意识到它们这么大 I did not realize they were that big
噢 管它呢 Oh ,whatever
孩子们 很不幸你爸爸突然要去出差 Guys, unfortunately your dad had a business trip that came up
所以你们的漂流之旅只能推迟到夏天了 So your white water rafting trip is gonna get postponed till this summer
什么 What?
我们就呆在这一个星期没事干 We are stuck here doing nothing all week?
我另有计划啊 很棒的计划 I have plans, I have great plans actually
什么 比如打保龄球和去商场吗 Like what? Bowling and going to the mall?
你怎么知道 How did you know?
最好是爸爸 Bet that's Dad
也许他会带我们一起出差 Maybe he'll take us on his business trip
嗨 你妈妈在家吗 Oh hey, is your mom home?
什么叫你妈妈在家吗 你是谁 What do you mean "is your mom home"? Who are you?
我是吉姆 I am Jim
吉姆 Jim66@DSG.Com Jim? Jim66@DSG.Com??
这是什么 约会电视台吗 是的 你猜对了 What's this ?Dateline NBC? Yes, you got it right
你要干嘛 What do you want?
我想和你妈妈谈谈 没什么大事 I need to talk to your mother, not a big deal
她说她对你没兴趣 Shw said she is not interested in you
相信我 指环王 我也对她没兴趣 Believe me , Frodo ,I don't like her either.
我得和她弄清一件事 Unfortunately I have to sort something out with her
布兰登 谁在 Brendan,honey, who is at the ...?
嘿 Hey
吉姆 Jim
你说谎 骗子 你喜欢他 Liar, you like him
什么 我没撒谎 他是个搞笑小丑 What, I didn't lie, he is a buffoon
-我说过的 -别跟我讲话 - Just like I said - Don't talk to me
永远别跟我说话 Ever
不 亲爱的 别这样 No sweety, come on
好啦 Great
哪个是自慰者 大的那个吗 Wich one was the masturbator? The big one?
你为什么会在这 你想干嘛 Why are you here? What do you want?
药店的那个老家伙弄混了我们的信用卡 The old bag at the pharmacy, mixed up our card
不可能 因为我的信用卡整理得很好 That's impossible because I keep my cards very organized
根据颜色 编码 In fact I keep them in color ...
好吧 那我把它给回它主人吧 劳伦雷诺兹 你认识她吗 All right,I'll give this back to whoever it belongs to. Lauren Reynolds?, You know her?
你见过她吗 Have you met her?
哦 我的天 我不知道我最近怎么了 God! I don't know what's wrong with me lately,
我觉得脑子越来越不好使 I feel like I'm losing my mind
进来吧 Just come in
等等 你怎么知道我住在哪里 So wait, how do you know where I live?
我谷歌你 然后 衣柜皇后 出现了 I googled you and the "Closet Queens" came up
你是同性恋吗 You are a lesbian?
不是 No
我们整理衣柜 而且我们最厉害 所以我们是皇后 We organize closets and we're the best, so we're queens
衣柜皇后 "Closet Queens"
也许是照片混淆了我 Maybe the picture was confusing me
什么照片 What picture?
那些滑头 Those little weasels
你的女朋友知道我们曾经约会过吗 Your girlfriend ,does she know we went out on a date?
她会杀了我吗 她看起来像个疯子 Is she gonna kill me? She looks nuts
劳伦 Lauren
-她在这 -我需要和你谈谈 - Here she is - I have to talk to you
我从来没碰过她 她拒绝了我 I never touched her, she repulses me
-什么 -什么 - What? - What?
珍 怎么啦 Jen, what's wrong?
我和迪克分手了 It's over between me and Dick
-分手了 -我以为你不喜欢男人 Over? - I thought you don't like Dick
但你们刚开始用爱字 But you guys just started using the "L" Word
爱字 我明白了 你们是我猜的那个吗 the "L" Word? I saw that, So you guys on that one I'm guessing?
不好意思 你是谁 你是来修东西的吗 Sorry, who are you? Are you here to fix something?
你最好赶快去修 Because you should probably go and do that
我是吉姆 我不会对你造成威胁的 I'm Jim, I'm not a threat
-吉姆 -相亲的那个家伙 - Jim? - The Blind Date Guy
-你说那是场灾难 -确实是 - You said that was a disaster - It was
-你说他是个失败的胖子 You said he was a chubby loser
他是 He is
你没提过他的声音 You didn't mention he has
像喝了很多奶制品那样沙哑 tha high phelgmy voice like he drinks a lot of dairy
-我知道 -女士们 我就站在这里 我什么都听得到 - I know - Standing right here ladies, hearing everything
好了 我们的信用卡被调换了 Alright! Our cards got switched
-所以我们在处理这事 -迪克怎么啦 - So we're just dealing with that - What happened with Dick?
他扔了个大炸弹给我 He just dropped a mature bomb on me
他已经结婚了 He's married
不 更糟糕 No ,worse
他有孩子了 He's got kids
噢 你还在这里 为什么 Oh, you still here, why?
你还是拿着我的信用卡 为什么 You still have my card, Why?
等一下 你打算 Wait, you're just going
和他分手就是因为他有孩子 to break up with him because he has children?
5个孩子 5个 Five children, five
我是谁 朱莉安德鲁斯吗 What am I ,Julie Andrews?
我要缝出一样的服装 I'm gonna sew matching outfits
和唱歌来逃避纳粹吗 and sing to escape the Nazis?
他问我想不想成为其中一员 He asked me if I wanted to be part of the team
不 我不想 No I don't
也许你应该 Oh maybe you should just go on that
去那趟旅行 和迪克单独呆在一起 trip and you know, spend some alone time with Dick
不 他希望孩子们也一起去 No, he wanted the kids to come with us
他想让我在 有趣和中立的环境 下了解孩子们 He wanted me to get to know them on "Fun and neutral environment"
五个孩子 难道他姓西奥多波里斯吗 Five kids, is his last name is Theodopolis?
是的 Yes
难以置信 他是我老板 That's incredible, that's my boss
他是所有迪克商店的老板 我管理里奇菲尔德的店 He owns all the Dick's sporting goods. I manage the Richfield
当然了 Of course you do
迪克雇佣很多有特殊需要的人 Dick takes a lot of special
让他们去做 经理 needs people and makes them "Managers" Of something
这样他们就有名片了 让他们自我感觉很重要 So they can have a business card and feel important
真替你高兴 Good for you!
那解释了 解释了很多东西 That explains it. That explains a lot
事实上我在衣柜皇后那申请了工作 Actually I applied to work at Closet Queens but
但他们说已经有一只猩猩填补了空缺 They said there is already a gorilla filling that position
【这是甲状腺问题】 It's a thyroid thing
他准备带你去哪 Where was he going to take you?
非洲 Africa
本来会是很美好的 看看这 It was gonna be incredible, look at that
沙滩 沙滩 游猎 Sun, sand, safaris
我的天 Omg
他一定很喜欢你 He must really like you a lot
对不起 我完全不明白 Sorry, I'm not getting it at all
行了 我们的事已经解决了 Ok, and this concludes our business
谢谢 Thank you ,Africa
所以现在他准备自己带着全部孩子去那吗 So he's just gonna go there all by himself with the kids ?
不 No
他现在心都碎了 没人会去 He's heartbroken now .Nobody gets to go
噢 该死的 Oh ,damn it!
他为什么要共同抚养权 Why does he have to have joint custody?,
我以为都是妈妈得到孩子的抚养权 I thought the mother always got the kids
我是说 还有一个星期 我希望他能拿回他的钱 I mean... this is a weekaway, I hope be gets his money back
一个星期 A week out?
没可能了 Not a chance
也许在非洲事情的运作方式会不一样 Well maybe they do things differently in Africa
我忘了你是衣柜专家和非洲退款政策专家 I forgot you're an expert in closets and African refund policies
赶他出去 Kick him out
别让他这样对你说话 Don't let him talk to you like that
滚出去 Get out
珍 Jen
如果能去一次这样的旅行 我的孩子会愿意付出一切 My boys would give anything to go on a vacation like this
西奥多波里斯先生 你好 我是吉姆 弗里德曼 Mr. Theodopolis, Hi! It's Jim Freedman
我不想像秃鹫般 I don't mean to be a vulture
在你感情的残骸里榨取好处 picking on the carecass of your dead relationship
但我想知道 But I wonder ...
你愿不愿意把你的旅行卖给我 If you would be willing to sell me the vacation
你原本要和鬼王姐姐去的那个 you were gonna go on with Freddy Krueger's sister?
我是说 我一直存钱一直存 I mean I've been saving and
但也没办法全价买下来 saving I could never give him full value for it
但拿回来一些总比没有要好 对吗 先生 But something is better than nothing, Right sir?
只有我们三个 It will just be the three of us
只有我们四个 所以我们只需要一间房 It will just be the four of us so we'd only need one room
我的天 Omg
等我告诉儿子们 Wait until I tell the boys
等我告诉女儿们 Oh, wait until I tell the girls
-我们要去非洲啦 -我们要去非洲啦 - We're going to Africa! - We're going to Africa!
我不敢相信我们竟然在这 I can not believe we're here
妈妈 这太棒了 This is pretty cool, Mom
是啊 Yeah
所以我做得很好吗 比保龄球和逛商场好太多了吗 So I did good? This is better than ,like bowling and the mall?
噢 是啊 Oh, yeah
非洲 Africa
太谢谢你了 谢谢 这太棒了 太好了 Thank you so much .Thank you .This is terrific.This is great.
-我了个 -布兰登 What the f...? - Brendan!
我那个 在想他在这里干什么 What the ,what is he doing here?
我们现在是家庭旅行了吗 We are going on family vacations together now?
我完全不知道他们为什么跟着我们来非洲 I have no idea why they followed us to Africa
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 这是个噩梦么 Whoa ,whoa whoa .Is this a sick dream?
现在什么情况 What is happening right now?
你在跟踪我妈妈 You are stalking my mom
-你就是个捕食者 -嘿 - You're a predator - Hey
傻逼 别这样和我爸爸说话 Do not talk to my dad like that, butthole
注意言辞 Language!
你别纠正我女儿 她想说傻逼就能说傻逼 How about you don't correct my daughter, she can say butthole if she wants to
-傻逼 傻逼 -我说的不是你 - Butthole, butthole. - Not you
欢迎来到南非 Welcome to South Africa
马法纳为你效劳 Mfana at your service
马法纳 Mfana ...
额 吉姆 我是说 迪克 Uh,Jim. I mean, Dick
迪克 西奥多波里斯 Dick Theodopolis
热烈欢迎 迪克 西奥多波里斯 Welcome Dick Theodopolis
与你同行的是 And you are traveling with
一个小女孩 one little girl
还有两个 and two ...
大女孩 Big girls
当然 Of course
你肯定是 And you must be
-帕尔默小姐 -是的 - Miss Palmer - Yes
珍 帕尔默 Jen Palmer
我知道你在干嘛了 I see what you did
我也知道你在干嘛了 I see what you did, too
你们准备好迎接人生中最刺激最兴奋最浪漫 Are you ready for the most exciting, amazing and romantic week
的一周了吗 of your entire lives?
是的 我们就是冲着零浪漫旅游配套而来的 Yes, we are here for the zero romance package
你们还没告诉孩子们吧 朋友们 You still haven't told the children, my friends?
告诉孩子什么 Told the children what?
我有个新妈妈了吗 That I have a new mommy?
马法纳 能帮我个忙 让我们单独待会么 Mfana, will you do us a favor ?Leave us alone for just two seconds
意思是 当然可以了 Which means, of course
-谢谢 -好了 - Thank you - All right
听着 你可以重新向我孩子保证 Listen,would you just reassure my son
我们没有在约会吗 that we're not dating?
我们没在约会 We're not dating
我保证 I promise you
我不想每天早上醒来就看见这张脸 This is not a face I want to wake up to every morning
假如能这样是你的荣幸 You'd be lucky to wake up to that every day
我妈妈超级性感 My mom is freaking hot
你刚刚是说你妈妈很性感吗 Did you just say your mom is hot?
不 不是性感 No, not hot
那很不应该哦 That's just wrong
泰勒 Tyler!
快从那下来 Get down from there
我的天呐 求你了 求你了 求你快下来 Oh god,please please please get down
噢 天哪 Oh, my God!
跟我来 这边 Follow me ,right this way
欢迎来到你们的家庭蜜月 Welcome to your "Family moon"
-我们就要这间了 -不 - We will take this room - No!
我们要这间 We want this room
傻傻的西奥可乐波里斯 Silly Theocropolises
这是给孩子们的 This is for the children
这间是给爸爸妈妈的 This room is for the mama and the papa
在这里你们可以创造出更多的西奥菠萝慕斯宝宝 Here is where you make more Theopotamuses
对不起 My bad
这张床哪里证明了所谓的没在约会 What part of "not dating" does this bed fit into?
好了 你知道吗 Ok, you know what?
全部站成一排 Everybody fall into line
布兰登 泰勒 宝贝 坐到在沙发上 Brenda, Tyler, honey , I need you on the couch
希拉里 西斯本 卢 Hilary, C-Span, Lou
艾斯本 艾斯本 Espn, Espn
对不起 艾斯本 Excuse me, Espn
对不起 宝贝 I am sorry, honey
我的天 Omg
迪克原本准备向珍求婚 Dick was gonna propose to Jen
全家人一起度蜜月 家庭蜜月 A family honey moon. A familymoon
你的蠢材朋友毁了这一切 And your dumb friend ruined it.
接下来这样 Here's what's ganna happen
我们看到的第一间房 我们要了 The first room we saw, we are ganna take that
你和你的神经病孩子 留着爱的营地里 And you and your deranged boys can have Wilt Chamberlain's headquarters
哥们 你吃什么 Dude ,what are you eating?
樱桃三角 Cherry Pan-ties
什么是樱桃三角 What are "Cherry Pan-ties"?
让我看看 Let me see that
噢 不 Oh, no!
天啊 吐出来 快吐出来 God, spit it out.Spit it put
-为什么 -吐出来 Why? - Spit it out
不能吃樱桃三角 Just no Cherry Pan-ties ever
-吐出来 吐出来 -嘿 妈妈 - Out ,out,out - Hey Mama
我觉得这以前是消防局 I guess this used to be a firehouse
看看这地方 哇 Look at this place. Wow
你好 沙发多波里斯先生 Hello Mr Snofadopolis
西奥多波里斯 Theodopolis
你们好 Hello ...
姑娘们 Girls
姑娘们 她们是姑娘们 Girls, they are girls
第二次了 That's twice
走吧伙计们 姑娘们 Come on guys ... girls
23号 找23号 23 .We are looking for 23 ...
在这里 There it is
-嗨 -嗨 - Hi - Hi
你们好 我想我们要和你们共桌 How are you doing, I think we are sharing the table with you
好的 嗨 Yeah, hi
我是艾迪 沃尼克 I am Eddie Warnick
她是金洁儿 沃尼克 还有我们的儿子 杰克 And this is Ginger Warnick and our son Jake
我们来自温哥华 We are from Vancouver
好了 我是 你 的儿子 Ok, I'm YOUR son
除非金洁儿在6岁的时候生下我 她不是我妈妈 Ginger would've had to gove birth to me when she was 6, she is not my mom
好啊 告诉所有人吧 Ok, get it out there for every one
分享出来 表达出来 不要压抑 Sharing it, loving it,no holding back
这样很好 That's good
好 我们做我们的事 All right,let's do our thing, come on
这个地方是不是很赞 Isn't this place fantastic?
很浪漫 So romantic
是的 我们会在这玩得很开心 Good, gonna have a nice trip here
-额 爸爸 -我应该坐哪儿 - Um ,dad? - Where should I sit?
你想坐哪就坐哪 You can sit anywhere you want
那妈妈呢 她坐哪里 What about Mom? Where is she sitting?
你想她在哪儿 Where do you want her to sit?
在我旁边 Next to me?
那她就坐你旁边 坐吧 你坐在卢旁边 Then that's where she'll sit. Go ahead,you get right next to Lou
你妈妈就在那 Your mom's right there
好吗 OK?
好的 All good
忽略他们 忽略奇怪的事 Ignore it, ignore the weirdness
葬礼在哪儿啊 男孩们 Where's the funeral at, boys?
高尔夫球巡回赛在哪儿啊 姑娘们 Where is the golf tournament at, girls?
噢 不 不 不 Oh no, no, no
马法纳 Mfana!
-是的 您是 -雷诺兹 Yes, Miss ...? - Reynolds
帕尔默 反正就不是他的妻子 好吗 Palmer. Just not his wife ok?
我不会坐在这里 这不可能 I don't wanna sit here, not ganna happen
可惜必须得这样 女士 I am afraid it must happen, ma'am.
桌子都坐满人了 而且这是你的家人 All tables are filled and this is your family
和我们坐在一起吧 Please sit with us
你试试嘛 You give it a try
所有的家庭都会争吵 Every family fights
然后和好重聚 You make it better
-对吗 -对 - Yes? - Yes
试试魔法啤酒 Try the chachalaca
-你好 新人 -你好 - Hi new people - Hello
顺便说一声 她是劳伦 This is Lauren, by the way
还有她的孩子 功夫小子 And her children,the karate kids
上蜡 刮蜡【（功夫小子里的台词）】 Wax on and wax off
这个地方是不是很赞 Isn't this place fantastic?
很浪漫 Oh it's so romantic
不好意思 你刚刚说什么 Sorry, what did you say?
好浪漫 So romantic
冷静点 Easy
成为经典动作了 哈 金洁儿 Keeping it classic,huh Ginger?
噢 小杰克 你脸上有东西 Oh Jakey you have something on your face
噢 是个痣 Oh, it's a mole
嘿 你不能坐这里 Hey you can not sit there
-为什么不能 -我的妈妈坐这 - Why not? - My mom is sitting there
-她是去了厕所还是什么 -不 她现在就坐在这里 - Is she in the bathroom or something? - No,she is sitting there right now
你是在治疗期吗 Are you on meds?
没事 艾斯本 我们会给布兰登另一张椅子 It's ok Espn, we'll get Brendan another chair
-谢谢 -不管了 - Thank you - Whatever
我要去吃自助餐 I'm just gonna go to the buffet
泰勒 跟我一起去 他们这有炸毛毛虫 Tyler come with me.They eat fried caterpillars here
我去 耶 Oh, if
女孩们 你们为什么不也去吃自助餐 Very nice. Girls, why don't you hit the buffet also?
拉里 一定得吃足够多的牛肉 行吗 Larry, make sure you have plenty of beef, ok?
你得为赛期塑造肌肉 Gotta bulk up for the season
我爱你 I love you
为赛期塑造肌肉 Bulk up for the season?
她是什么 是只熊吗 What is she, a bear?
她今年尝试入选女子代表队 She is trying out for girls varsity this year
那里有很多高大的女孩 A lot of big ladies out there
所以她必须吃很多 才能进前五名 So she's gonna eat her way into the starting five
我的天 Omg
大家好 Hello everybody
我叫尼根斯 My name is Nickens
我们是塔吐乐队 And we're Thathoo
我们唱的是非洲和声音乐 带有一点美国灵歌色彩 We play traditional South Africa isicathamiya music, with a liitle bit of American soul
这里越来越热了 It's getting a little hot in here
我雄壮的非洲手臂终于解放了 Finally my huge African arms are free
耶 宝贝 Yeah baby!
-就是它们 -不 - Yes they are - No
我想要热烈欢迎你们来到我们的 I would like to welcome you to our
第四年度混合家庭蜜月周 Fourth annual blended familymoon week
什么是混合家庭 What is a blended family?
我不知道 听起来很可怕 I do not know, sounds painful
我看到很多漂亮的继子 继父 继母 I'm looking out at all you beautiful stepchildren, stepdads, stepmoms
异父兄弟 同性伴侣 还有传统的 halfbrothers, same sex domestic partners, and good old-fashioned
不小心怀孕的炮友 哈哈哈 booty calls gone wrong.Ha-ha-ha
好了 虽然强调的重点在于家庭 Now, even though the emphasis is on family
但在这美丽的太阳城度假胜地 We here at the beautiful sun city resort
我们想确保你们有单独相处的时间 want to make sure you get some alone time
因为单独相处的时间 Because alone time
有时可以很长 can sometime take a long time
我们有很多受监护的活动给孩子们玩 We have many supervised activities for the young ones to do
我们有狂野丛林 We have a fabulous jungle play zone
有夜间泳池派对 An nightly pool party
嘿 艾斯本 你为什么不下来 你的妈妈怕水吗 Espn, why aren't you getting in? Is your mom afraid of water?
干得好 妈妈 Good, Mom
魔法动物时间 Magical animal Time
小子 你不想试试摸摸活的动物吗 Little one, wouldn't you like to try petting a living animal?
它死了吗 He's dead?
还有著名的青少年迪斯高 And our famous Tekula teen disco
嘿兄弟 那儿有很多性感的女孩 Hey dude, there are a lot of hot chicks out here
搞什么鬼 What the heck is ...?
那是什么 What's that?
这是在开玩笑吗 Are you kidding me?
我的天 你是在开玩笑吗 My God, are you kidding me?
我的天 Omg
天呐 鳄鱼 My God, crocodile
鳄鱼攻击 Crocodile Attack
救我 过来救我 Help me, somebody help me
杯里浮波里斯先生 这些鳄鱼是假的 Mr Bellyflopolis, the crocodiles are fake
它们是假的 They're fake?
是的 它们是假的 Yes, they are fake
你为什么要做得那么真 Why would you make them look so realistic?
哦 是用来吓狒狒的 Well, to scare the baboons away
你都要把我吓尿了 You just scared a zebra stripe into my underwear
别担心 发生在非洲的事就留在非洲吧 Don't worry. What happens in Africa, stays in Africa
泰勒 好的 Tyler, ok
不好意思 Excuse me
没事 Ok
这的确是让他睡一整晚的方法之一 That's one way to get him to sleep through the night
你看到了吗 You saw that?
我是听到的 我觉得乌干达都能听得 I actually heard it, I think they heard it in Uganda
如果他还是卢的年纪的话 会好搬一些 It was a lot easier when he was Lou's age
-噢 我帮你吧 你到家了 -谢谢 - Of course, let me help you out there.Here you are.You're at home - Thank you
不用客气 You're welcome
好吧 快捡起来 三秒钟内还能吃 你没事的 他也没事的 All right,pick him up. Three-second rule.Three-second rule.You are fine.He's fine
好吧 我越来越害怕了 Ok, now I'm getting scared
这是你的兔子 Here is your buddy
妈妈在这里睡觉 Mom is sleeping there
好的 我能和她一起睡吗 Okay, can I sleep with her?
不行 你会撞到她 No, you'll crush her
不会 我会和她一起盖被子窝在一起 这样很好啊 No,I could get in with her and spoon her.It would be nice
我不想看到这样 I do not want to see that
那好吧 No, ok
好吧 让妈妈休息吧 我会想想办法 Well let mommy rest, I'll figure out
-我爱你 -我也爱你 爸爸 I love you - Love you too dad
-晚安 -睡个好觉 - Goodnight - Sleep good
就能我跟你了 小个子 Me and you there, shorty
好吧 就这样吧 Ok, that's right
刚好在脖子上 我会睡得很踏实的 Right on my neck, that's ganna make a nice evening for me
嘿 伙计们 Hey guys
到点起床了 It's time to wake up
非洲在等着我们 Africa awaits us
这是个美丽的早晨 It's a beautiful morning
卢 你能和爸爸一起起床吗 Lou, will you wake up with Daddy please?
以撒旦之名 让我们睡吧 In the name of Lucifer, let us sleep
起来起来 你们两个 今天我都计划好了 Up up up you two, I have quite a day plan
我需要一杯咖啡 I need a coffee
早上好 Morning
-计划好一天了吧 -噢 是呀 Big day planned? - Oh yeah
7点15分大自然散步 8点半爱宠动物园 7:15 nature walk .8:30 petting zoo
10点土著手工品 10:00 am native crafts
那俩兄弟 他们都很期待 The boys . They are so excited
噢是吗 我的姑娘们也很兴奋 一直在床上跳来跳去 Oh really? My girls are ecstatic also.Just jumping up and down on the bed
还是不敢相信他们在这里 Can't believe they are here
-奶油 -不 谢谢 - Cream?? - No thanks
-糖 -好 谢谢 - Sugar? - Yes, please
-叫不到他们起床 对吗 -对 - Couldn't get the boys out of bed? - No
-姑娘们呢 -她们可能要把剩下的旅程也睡过去 - The girls? - The girls are paobably sleeping the rest of the trip
可能得为小的那个驱驱魔 Possible exorcism coming for the little one
到时看看会发生些什么 We'll see what happens
好 Good
-这里真漂亮 -是啊 - It is beautiful here - Oh yeah
-待会见 -好 玩得开心 - I'll see you around - Yeah, have a good one
你在新泽西可看不到那些 You won't see that in New Jersey
运用你的身体 Use your body
哦耶 搞定 Oh yeah, finish it!
就是这样 太棒了 耶 And bam. That's it, yes!
太棒了 Yes!
干得好 Well-done
赢了 来吧 给我球 Winners up. Let go, give me the ball
来 我们开始了 把球传给我 And here we go, give me the ball
我们动起来 We will move
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
拉里 Larry??
快点 把球传给我 Come on, give me the ball.
牵制住他 Frighten him, let
你是在跳舞吗 Are you dancing?
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
接球 Take the ball
发生什么事了 What is happening?
不管了 接球吧 Just take the ball.
你怎么这样子走 是内衣不舒服吗 Why are you moving like that? Is it the bra?
如果是的话 脱掉 反正你也不需要 Because if it's the bra, just take it off.You don't need it any way
什么 What?
你去哪 我们才刚开始 Where are you going? We just started
你的孩子没事吧 他干嘛要穿内衣 Is your boy okay? Why does he wear a bra?
她是女孩 She's a girl
你逊毙了 You suck
泰勒 慢点 Tyler ,slow down
老妈 我们的时速才四公里 Come on mom .We are going 4 miles per hour
够快了 That's plenty fast. fast enough
又快又安全 Fast and safe
帕尔默小姐 开快点没事 Miss Palmer .It's okay to go fast
好的 马法那 Ok Mfana
看我的 Watch me!
你开错方向了 You are going the wrong way!
小心 老奶奶 Watch out, grandmother!
我的错 My bad
我们的混合家庭之旅进行得很好 The blending process is really going well for us
我老公的十三岁的儿子 My husband's 13-year-old
还在和我闹矛盾 不喜欢我 still has some hatred issues towards me
但是肢体冲突减少了 But it is becoming less physical
这是个好的开始 So it's a start
那很好啊 Good for you
我早上醒来 发现脸上盖着一个枕头 I woke up this morning with a pillow pressed against my face
但是我能感觉到他有一点内疚 But I could sense some guilt afterwards
这也是一种进步 So that's progress
坚持住 姐妹们 胜利的曙光就在前方 Hang in there ladies, there is a light at the end of the tunnel
这个小天使终于把我当成 This little angel here is finally starting to think of me
她第二个妈妈了 as her second mom
而不是把我误认为她之前的体操老师 Not just her former gymnastics teacher
你在画什么 宝贝 What are you drawing honey?
一只大象在踩你的头 踩死你 It's a picture of elephants stomping on your head and making you dead
不要笑 Stop it
别担心 在非洲发生的事都会留在非洲 Don't worry, what happens in Africa, stays in Africa
我们来碰拳吗 Bump my fist?
-他太幽默了 -是啊 - Jim's so funny - yeah
-抱歉 -为什么打这么多结 - I'm trying - Why did you tie it with so many knots?
我不想让它飞下来啊 I didn't want it to come flying off
噢天哪 她的脸怎么了 Oh my God, what happened to her face?
我画的 画的是Hello Kitty I painted it.She is a kitty cat
你是画了眼影吗 Are you wearing eye shadows?
我本来帮他画了公主但是他洗掉了 I made daddy a princess but he washed the paints off
洗不太干净 他看起来有点像Lady Gaga Well not all the way off because he looks a little like Lady Gaga
为什么他带着个头盔 Why is this kid wearing a helmet?
你是又要抱着他回去睡觉吗 还是怎么样 Are you carrying him to bed again or something?
不 我打了太多结 No, I tied the chain strap too many times
然后解不开 I can't get it off
在体育店上班的好处就是 Best thing about working at a sporting goods store
随身带有瑞士军刀 Swiss Army Knife
-小心点 -我会慢慢来的 - Just be careful - I'll go easy
谢谢你 Thank you
爸爸我要上厕所 Daddy I gotta go to the bathroom
现在要吗 好吧 You do? Ok
她可以带我去吗 Can she take me?
她有自己的事要做 你要去干嘛 一还是二 She's got her own life to live. What do you gotta do? One or two?
-一 -我可以陪她去 - Number 1 - I can handle this
-好 -你要帮我看着他 - Ok - Will you watch him?
我说的真的是眼睛盯着 And I mean ,watch him
好 我会的 擦干净点 Yes, I got it.Home slice.
-好的 -不要忘了 - OK - For sure
-一代表的是什么 -尿尿 - What's number 1 again? - It's pee pee
-有时候他擦得太用力了 -他肯定不是故意的 - And sometimes he wipes too hard. - I'm sure he doesn't mean to
他不是 他是个好爸爸 可惜没有小妹妹 No he's a good daddy .He just doesn't have a virgina
哦宝贝 我们洗手吧 Ok honey, let's wash your hands
他是个坏爸爸 把我画的像行尸走肉里的 He's a bad daddy .He made me look like the Walking Dead
不 Oh no!
没事 OK .
没事的 All right.
我们来看看魔术包里面有什么 Let's see what we have in the magic bag here
太好了 Perfect
没事的 All right.
你长得好漂亮 You're pretty
你更漂亮 You're prettier
-我说你很漂亮 -闭嘴 等我擦干净你的脸 - I said you are. - Shut up and let me do your makeup
可能他们在那 Maybe that's where they are.
泰勒 Tyler?
泰勒快下来 马上 Tyler ,get off that dodo bird right now!
没事的 安全管理员会确保我们安全的 Everything's fine.The safety instructor is on top of it
耶 我赢了 我是非洲之王 Yes, I win, I'm the King of Africa
迎接赢家吧 A winner!
你在开什么玩笑 Are you kidding me?
你就是个白痴 好吗 You're a moron, okay?
他可能会扭伤脖子 Because he could have broken his neck
妈妈 你看到了吗 Mom, did you see that?
我跳下来稳稳落地 像斗牛舞的姿势 I stuck the landing and did the bull dance
-我看到了 -妈妈 谢谢你带我来这里旅游 - Yes, I saw it. - Thank you so much for taking me on this trip, Mom
今天是我人生中最棒的一天 This is the best day of my life
好吧 Ok
太好了 Great, good
我爱你 I love you so much
知道你玩的开心我很高兴 I'm so glad you're having fun
不用谢谢我 You're welcome
太感谢你了 Thank you very much
你为什么朝我爸爸竖中指 Why are you flipping my dad off?
我没有 Huh? I'm not.
看看 有个白人女孩 Check out white girl in the neighborhood
我说的对吗兄弟们 Am I right? My brothers?
我还是不敢相信你爸喜欢我妈 I can't believe your dad's into my mom
他不喜欢你妈 是你妈喜欢我爸 He doesn't like her, she's into him.
不可能 他是个土肥圆 No way. He's a goofy and flabby all over
我妈妈是个美丽的女人 身材火辣 My mom is gorgerous with a rocking body.
那句话好恶心 Hey that's sick, man
你没听到上下文 That was out of context!
有上下文吗 Was it?
你应该上去跟他说话 You know. You should just go talk to him.
他可不会咬人 Because he probably won't bite
我不行 Oh, no, no, I can't.
家里有男朋友了 Got a boyfriend back at home?
我们学校的男生都以为我是拉拉 Please. All the guys at my school pretty much assume I'm a lesbian
还不是火辣的那种 And not the hot kind
呃 你有没有想过 Well, have you ever considered, say like ...
换个发型 Changing your hair style?
我们的理发师只会剪这种 还有寸头 Our barber only really knows how to do this and crew cuts
-所以 -理发师 - So ... - A barber?
街边的理发店那种 Like the kind with a pole outside?
他给我爷爷剪头发 He cut our grandfather's hair
给我爸爸剪头发 He cuts my dad's hair
现在给我们剪头发 And now he cuts our hair
我可以 May I just ...?
你长得真漂亮 You have such a beautiful face
说起来也有趣 我正要去发廊 It's funny because I was actually on my way to the salon
你想跟我一起去吗 Do you wanna come check it out with me?
去干嘛 For what?
去修整一下头发 For a hairdo
弄个女生的发型 For a girl
适合这个时代的 In this century
我想去 但是我得跟我爸要钱 I would , but I have to ask my dad for the money
不用 我给 No no no, it's on me
真的吗 Really?
我很乐意 It would make me so happy
我又不能跟我的儿子一起去做头发 Because I don't get to do this with my boys
走吧华伦王子 Come on Prince Valiant
我不知道你在说什么 但是好啊我去 I don't know who that is, but ok
-你在哪买的衣服 -爸爸在工作的地方拿的 - Where do you buy your clothes? - Dad gets most of our clothes from work
我们该庆幸他没在猫头鹰餐厅工作 Then I guess we should be grateful he doesn't work at Hooters
我们的妈妈在那工作 No, my mom worked at Hooters
她什么 She what?
我妈以前在猫头鹰餐厅工作 Oh, my mom. She used to worked at Hooters
她是湖街那家餐厅的主管 She managed the one over on Lake street
他该庆幸没有被提到蛋蛋 He's lucky he didn't get kicked in the nuts
啊 我的蛋 Oh, my nuts
奥斯本 Espn
这是我吃过最好吃的水果沙拉 你一定要试试 It is the best passion fruit I've ever tasted. Try it.
我给你妈妈也拿了一份 And I got some for your mam too
谢谢 Thank you
不用客气 You're welcome
话说你们两人是怎么认识的 So how did you two sexicans meet?
这个问题好难回答我喜欢 Yeah, hitting them with the hard questions, I like it
我们是相亲认识的 Well, we met on a blind date
相亲真的太糟糕了 Those are the worst
我去过十次相亲 I have been on 10 blind dates in my life
全部都是大胖子 All fatties.
十次都是 大胖子 Ten for ten. All fatties
无意冒犯 金 No offense, Jim
有发生什么事吗 他带你去哪 What happened? Where did he take you?
他带我去了猫头鹰餐厅 Actually, Hooters
又来了 Here we go
那里服务很好 Which was a wonderful service
那里的人也很好 Nice people
真的很不错 Really great
好浪漫 How romantic
都跟着我动起来吧 Everyone's shimmying now
你怎么不动起来呢 Why you no shimmy, Jimmy?
动起来啊 Shimmy
金 Jim?
拉里去哪了 Where is Larry?
你把拉里怎么了 What happened to Larry?
我就站在这啊 老爸 I'm right here, Dad
这怎么 为什么 Why were the ...? How did this ...?
这是怎么回事 What's happening right now?
劳伦和我去了发廊 Lauren gave me her salon appointment
他们给我弄了这身打扮 还给我化了妆 And they put in hair extensions and makeup
她教他们怎么打扮 什么该弄什么不该弄 and she even told them how to style it and what to do, what not to do
她人太好了 She's pretty amazing
真的好人啊 She was amazing, huh?
你想跟我去吧台那里拿一些寿司吗 Do you want to get some sushi from the bar?
哇哦 别这么着急小伙子 Easy scarecrow! She's gotta bulk up.
她还要去拿猪排 羊排 Pork chops, lamb chops
牛肉 Red meat
我们去拿点牛肉 Let's go get our beef on?
嗯 Yeah?
我想有别人也来了晚餐 一个胖胖的会飞的小孩子叫做丘比特 I think someone new came to dinner. A flying baby named Cupid
丘比特 Cupido!
有什么问题吗 What's the matter?
有设么问题 What's the matter?
我刚刚看到了我女儿 差点没认出来 I just looked at my daughter and I didn't really recognize her
我愣了好一会 Kind of threw me off for a minute
她已经十五岁了 Well she's 15
你知道 女儿总会长大的 You know, she's bound to grow up at some point
我知道 也许我疯了 因为 I know, call me crazy .I just thought
我认为那是我该做的决定 这是我的女儿 maybe that would be my decision because she's my kid!
噢 真尴尬 Ok, awkward moment
真不自在 剑拔弩张 uncomfortable, tension
-我要走了 谁跟我一起走 -我 我 - I am leaving the table, who's with me? - Me
我也跟你走 I'm going
我能问一下 Can I ask you?
你凭什么觉得你可以未经我允许 What made you think you could
就把我女儿打扮成这样吗 tart up my daughter without my permission?
你说的对 我很抱歉 我真的错了 You're right. I am sorry. I am.
说真的 Seriously
不过这话由一个差点害死我儿子的人说出来有点可笑 I just find it hypocritical from someone who nearly killed my son
所以你是想说我们扯平了 So it was getting even? Is that it?
我不是这个意思 No, it's not getting even.
只是 她很漂亮 I just ... she's beautiful
当然 Right
但不是顶着那个男生的发型 With that pageboy Prince Valiant haircut you gave her
-那个发型看起来很好看啊 -还有她那身衣服 - She looked very nice with that haircut - And the tracksuit
你在开什么玩笑 Are you kidding me?
她内心深处渴望摆脱那个形象 释放真实的自己 Dying on the inside to come out
她妈妈在她这个年纪也是这样子 假小子打扮 His mother was tomboyish at her age
我也觉得她很好看啊 And that was fine with me
你老婆十五岁你们就认识了 You knew your wife when she was 15?
我十三岁就认识她了 我很喜欢她 I knew her when I was 13. I had a crush on her.
我也不知道她为什么会喜欢我 I had no idea why she liked me back.
我有九成是傻瓜 还有一成是废人 I was 90% goofy and 10% loser
这样 Well.
我有六成是控制狂 I was 60% urkel
还有四成是疯子 And 40% screech
这么跟你说 如果我不控制住自己 Put it to you this way, if I didn't have braces
我怕我会忍不住咬你 my teeth would be hitting you right now
很抱歉我对你大喊大叫 I'm sorry I yelled at you
我知道我很白痴 没经过你同意 I feel like a jerk because I put your kid on a gooney bird
就和你的儿子一起骑鸵鸟 and I didn't asked your permission and ...
不 你说的对 No, but listen, you're right
我真的得对他宽松点 I need to let go of the reins a little bit
我只是想说 Just want to say ...
为了代表塔图乐队 On behalf of the Thathoo
我们多么快乐 How happy we are
看到你们两人 See you two lovers finally
已经坠入爱河 Blending
我们没有 No, we are not blending
我们只是在谈话 We were just having a conversation
我们很高兴没有相互厮杀 Just happy we haven't killed each other yet
是的你们已坠入爱河 Yes you are blending
是的你们已有肌肤之亲 Yes, you'll be touching
好吧 我们去拿点牛肉来吃吗 All right. Let's go get our beef on
谢谢 再见 All right. Thank you.
我相信他们已经对彼此有感觉了 快来 快来 I think they are blending over there! Come now! Come now!
他们已经坠入了爱河 They're blending over there.
爸爸 看 Daddy, look!
干嘛 我只是以为看到了一只鹰 What, I thought I saw an eagle
我看到了骆驼 I saw a camel
嘿 希拉里 Hey Hilary
你想上我们的观光车吗 You wanna come in our truck?
你确定 你不是应该在你的棺材里面吗 太阳太猛了 Shouldn't you be in your coffin? The sun is out right now
你自己去走一走吧 宅男 Take a walk, homes
嘿 Hey
你跟他去吧 Go ahead
天哪 Omg
这只可怜的野猪失去了双亲 The bush pig has lost its parents
但是它有狮子爸爸和狮子妈妈照顾 so it is being cared for by Mama and Papa lion
即使是在残酷的大自然 Even in nature
混合家庭也是存在的 There are blended families
太好了 That's nice
也许我误会了 I may have misread that situation
诸多感慨 时光飞逝啊 Emotional, time passing
一切都在变 Changes
是啊 一切都不一样了 It's, it's, it's hard
你必须得放手 You gotta let it go
翻过这页 继续前进 Turning the page, moving on
-她之前还是个孩子 -这是个慢慢变化的过程 你得接受它 She was a little kid, just a ... - Processing it, accepting it
生活的车轮在缓缓前进 The circle of life
虽然这个过程很痛苦 Painful, though
真让人心疼 不是吗 It hurts,right ?
不 我可不心疼 我有个儿子 No, not for me, I got a boy
你才得心疼 But you're in shithouse
谢谢 Thanks
真是壮观 The view is splendid
可以让我去玩吗 妈妈 Please, Mom?
什么 你疯了 不行 What, That? Are you crazy? No
如果他可以 我也行 这是完全没危险的 If Mfana can do it, I could do it. It's totally safe.
我不可能让你去玩的 There is no way I am going to let you do that
除非 Unless
我先去试试 I try it first
保证你控制得了 And make sure you can handle it
你什么都不用担心 绑得很紧 You have nothing to worry about. You are in tight.
有五十多条带子绑着你 很安全 You got 50 gauge webbing here.
但是你可能得注意疟疾 Possibly malaria is the only thing you gotta think about.
别吞下上面那些奇怪的东西 Don't swallow anything weird up there
好的 Ok
如果我想求救或者突然改变主意了怎么办 What happens if like I wanna signal for help or like if I decided to change my mind ...?
我的天 Omg
太美了 It is beautiful
加油 老妈 加油 Go, mama, go!
长颈鹿 There are giraffes
那里有长颈鹿 我看得到它们 There are giraffes right there, I can see them
帮我向他们问好 Well,say hello for me
实在太美了 This is so pretty
我的天哪 大象耶 oh My God, elephants
大象 Elephants
她为什么在尖叫 Why is she screaming?
她不是在尖叫 是嚎叫 She's not screaming, she is howling
她玩得很开心 She's having fun
你在上面看起来很棒 宝贝 You look good up there baby
像风一样自由翱翔吧 Fly like the wind
泰勒 你一定要试试这个 Tyler, you got to try this
你为什么停下来 Why you slowing down?
我们没有汽油了 We're out of gas
没油了 什么叫没油了 You're out of gas?What does that mean?
我们本来有汽油 但现在用完了了 We had gas,but we are out now.
我的天哪 怎么回事 Oh my God, what's happening?
吉姆 Jim?
我们没油了 We're out of gas
什么 What?
这都是你的错 This is all your fault
别担心 我爸爸会想到办法的 Do not worry my dad will come up with a plan
什么办法 What is the plan?
找到加油站 Look for a gas station
你滚蛋 you suck
你听我说 Listen to me
当你接近地面时 When you get close to the ground
就开始快跑 Start running fast
我的腿就像柯基狗那么短 I have the legs of a corky dog
没关系 尽管迈开你的小短腿 That does not matter right now, move those little babies
我不能让我的孩子看到我就这样死掉 You can not let your children see you die like this
额滴神啊 Omg
犀牛 Rhino!
天哪 Omg
张开你的腿 Open your legs
我没想到你会是个会去做推拿的人 I didn't have you pegged for the massage type of guy.
这是我人生第一次做推拿 我必须去做 It's the first massage I'll ever do in my life. I have to.
我要看看他们会不会把我的胰脏推上我的喉咙 I have to do, to see if they can rub my pancreas out of my neck
我的天哪 还有 顺便说一句 不用谢 My God, you're welcome,by the way
不用谢什么 For what?
-不用谢什么 -救了你一命 -"for what" ? -For saving you
你没有救我 You didn't save me.
你只是叫我一直跑 You told me to keep running
你为什么不抓住我 Why didn't you catch me?
我为什么应该抓住你 I was suppossed to catch you?
你以为我是谁 蝙蝠侠吗 Who am I?Batman?
你当时时速700里地向我冲来 Coming at me like 700 miles an hour.
大概500公斤那么重 You're weighing about a buck fifty.
惯性会将我手臂扯断的 The inertia would rip my arms off my body.
是 老娘抬着你的左半屁屁刚好这么重 yes,That's me, I weight about 50 if I'm holding your left ass cheek.
我不知道女人怎么量体重 I do not know what women weight
你什么都不知道 You don't know anything.
-祝你推拿愉快 -会的 Have a nice massage - We'll see
好了 现在对你的搭档做同样的动作 All right, now do the same with
同时要保持互相凝视对方的眼睛 your partner while make sure you look deeply into each others' eyes
-这是啥 -电影大门的情景再现吗 - What is this? - A scene out of The Doors?
我也不知道 额 The truth is that I don't know
女士 Ma'am?
是这样的 我预定了一次推拿 Yes, I booked a massage
是的 你预定的是情侣艺术推拿 -噢 yes,you booked for the Art of couples massage
快来吧 这正是你们所需要的 It is exactly what you guys need
我们会成为一列推拿火车 我当最后的守车 We are forming a massage train I'll be the caboose.
我可不答应 Unacceptable
我只是在开玩笑 I'm joking.
-加入我们吧 -不 女士 -我很好我 - join us - oh no,ma'ma. -i am so good ...
来这边 This way
好的 Ok
先轻抚你爱人的脖子 慢慢放松 Let's loosen things up by stroking your lover's neck.
-好吧 -现在就开始啊 Ok - Come now
别害羞 Do not be bashful.
沉浸在你爱人抚摸的愉悦当中吧 Give yourself over to the pleasure of your loving patner's touch.
-你好 -你好吗 - Hello - How are you?
记住要轻轻地抚摸 Maybe to keep that softer ?
轻轻地用你指尖触碰她的肌肤 like you brush your fingers against her skin.
-哦天哪 我身上是有只虫子吗 -不 Oh God, what's happening?Was there a bug on me - No. ..
不是虫子 我只是 No bug I was just ...
试试 I try to ...
轻轻触碰肌肤 像她说的 get some skin, like she said.
这样会弄疼我的脖子 That hurts the jugular
我不知道 I do not know ...
那好吧 走你 Ok, so .There you go.
-说真的这挺赞的 -那就好 - That's truely very nice - good
天哪 God
我感觉很放松 Now I feel relaxed, it's ...
噢 这感觉好棒 It is wonderful
不好意思 请问我也会得到这样的待遇 Excuse me. Am I gonna get some sort of rub action here
还是在非洲男人就要做全部的活儿 or does the guy do all the work in Africa?
你真风趣 莫普陀波利斯先生 Very funny Mr. Boptopolis
但他说的对 But he's right
女士们 该你们动手了 ladies,it's your time to join it.
当你的搭档按摩到你的肩膀的时候 As your partner moves down to your shoulders, reach out
伸出手 触摸他的耳朵 and touch his ears
用你的拇指和食指轻揉耳垂 Gently rub your thumbs and index finger...
就好像你在触碰玫瑰花瓣上的朝露 As if they were rubbing the dew Morning of a rose petal
-这是你的花瓣吗 -是的 是不是触碰露珠的感觉 Are these the petals of a flower? - Yes,Now rub the dew.
我觉得如果我帮你将这俩滑稽玩意儿 I'd be doing you a really big
扯下来会帮你一个很大的忙 favor if I just yanked these goofy things right off.
噢 闭嘴吧你 塌肩膀 Shut up, little shoulders
-我肩膀的确挺塌的 -不 不是啦 很好看 -Well if they are small.- No, you don't. They're very nice.
但你知道如果你要改进姿势 But you know what helps
要怎么做比较好吗 if you need to work on your posture?
稍微抬起你的手臂 Here, just lift your arms a little bit.
看好了 我做给你看 Watch, I'll show you. Right...
感觉很赞哟 Feels very good.
感觉还挺好的 You're good
你的肩膀挺好看的 You have nice shoulders.
-真的吗 -你的肌肉真的很发达 -Really? - You really have a lot of muscle.
-没你的发达 -嘿 Not as much as you.-Heh
带着那孩子四周转还到处撞他的头 From carrying that kid around and smashing his head.
啊 噢 是啊 Oh, yeah!
温尼克先生 Mr. Warnick
那块儿不是你太太的肩膀吧 Those are not your wife's shoulders.
哎呀被抓到了 Busted!
但我还是很爱它们的 我得保持你的视野洁净嘛 Loving it though. Respect the vision.
我懂得 I get it.
-但那儿才是最终目的地 对吧 -当然啦 - Gotta go for it, right? - You do!
嗯 那实在太舒服了 That was so relaxing ...
我希望我把你的胰脏按回了该在的位置 I hope you returned your pancreas back to where it belongs
我现在甚至都不知道它跑哪去了 I don't even know where it is right now.
他们玩的很嗨哟 They have fun.
你刚才很棒 谢谢你 You were very nice, thank you
你是个很强壮的女人 You're a strong woman
还有强壮的双手 Strong hands
嗯 我很高兴你喜欢我的手 I'm glad you liked my hands
爹地 Daddy?
我能让劳伦抱我去床上睡觉吗 Can Lauren put me to bed?
宝贝 Sweetheart,
爸爸待会就抱你睡觉 Daddy will put you to bed in one second.
但我想劳伦陪我 But I love Lauren
劳伦啊 Lauren ...
下次 下次再让劳伦陪你 Another time Lauren will
我就要她今晚陪我 But I want you to do tonight
爹地不同意 And Daddy says no
-唔 -不行 - Mm! - No.
我就想要劳伦 I want Lauren.
我很受宠若惊 I'm flattered
好吧 那现在呢 舒服吗 Okay. How's that? Are you all cozy now?
是滴 Yes
爹地 Daddy?
你能让我们单独待会儿吗 Can we have some time alone?
我可以去外面的厕所里呆着 如果你想的话 那我就去呗 I can go to the bathroom outside.Is that what you want? You got it.
竟然还被赶出自己的帐篷 Thrown out of my own tent.
他都听我的 I own him.
看出来了 It seems
你能摸摸我的头吗 这样我就能做好梦了 Can you rub my head so I have good dreams?
当然好了 Of course
你的头好小好可爱 What a cute little head.
你就不能去离帐篷远点的地方吗 Couldn't go a little further from the tent?
你想我怎样 这外面可能有吃人的怪兽啊 What do you want from me?They could have gorillas ready to kill
好吧 你为啥不让他们给你开点什么前列腺药之类的 why don't you get them to give you some Flomax or something.
是 我老了 我承认 Yep, getting older. I'll give you that.
你能唱歌给我听吗 Can you sing to me?
嗯 好啊 Um, sure.
-那里有只怪兽啊 -啊 - There's a gorilla right there! - Aah!
开个玩笑 不好意思 I'm just kidding! I'm sorry!
不好意思 我只是有点情绪化 那只是 不好意思 I'm sorry, I just couldn't handle how emotional it was getting. I just， I'm sorry.
休息一下吧 我不是故意的 Get some rest. I didn't mean to do that to you.
抬高手肘 这关乎怎么把握平衡 Elbow up. It's all about balance.
就是这样 That's right.
把你的重心放在这里 Keep your weight right there.
你怎么会打板球 How do you even play cricket?
我打的不是板球 我打的是棒球 We're not playing cricket. We're playing baseball.
但这酒店就只有这个破玩意儿 The only thing at the hotel they had was this stupid battle thingamajiggy.
他是谁 Who's that guy?
他叫戴尔 He's some guy named Dale.
他会朝你扔球 Uh, he'll be pitching to you.
那个 在板球里我们不叫扔球 我们叫投球 Yeah, in cricket we don't pitch, we bowl.
嘿 戴尔 我是该付你多少来着 Hey, Dale. How much am I paying you?
你体育用品店里的那5件布鲁克林T恤 Five Brooklyn T-shirts from your sporting goods store.
这样啊 如果你继续纠正我的话就只有4件了 Okay, I'm gonna make it four if you correct me again.
好了 戴尔 扔 投一个球 All right, Dale. Pitch-- Or bowl one in.
-我不擅长这个 -不是你的原因 不关你事 - I stink at this. - No, it's not you. It's not you.
戴尔 你能扔到本垒这边吗 这样会好些 Dale, you think maybe you can reach the plate? That would help.
实际上 在板球里面我们 Actually, in cricket we bounce the--
我会试试 我试试 I'll try. I'll try.
好了 All right.
抬高你的手肘 来吧 Elbow up. Come on. Get there.
我不想玩这个 I do not want to do this!
嘿 你在干什么 Hey. What are you doing?
不要扔你的球拍 还是这个什么 You don't throw your bat. Or whatever this thing is called.
-它就叫球拍 -万分感谢 -A bat - Thank you
你是个运动员 你是个体育家 You're an athlete, sportsman
你要尊重你的装备 You have to respect your team
收到 Yessir
除非你能像你骑鸵鸟那样成功击球 我们才离开这里 We ain't leaving here till you hit the ball as good as you ride an ostrich.
捡起你的球拍 Pick up the bat
嘿 我知道你站在那感到很孤单 很害怕 Hey. I know you're up there all alone.
觉得压力都在你身上 It's scary. You feel like all the pressure's on you.
但你知道吗 But guess what?
压力在他身上 The pressure is on him
他看起来压力不大啊 Doesn't look like he's feeling the pressure.
噢 他就是这么感觉的 Oh, he's feeling it all right.
他觉得他的球没办法从你这过去 He doesn't think he can get the ball past you.
我要你直视他的眼睛 I want you to look him right
让他知道你才是胜者 in the eyes and let him know you own him.
继续 Go ahead.
就是这样 重要时刻来了 That's it, big time.
给他个白眼 Give him the stink eye.
他有什么问题吗 What's his problem?
看吧 你吓倒他了 Well, look at that. You rattled him.
好了 戴尔 要是你有胆量你就扔球过来吧 Okay. Dale, pitch it in if ya got the guts.
太棒了 Yes!
你看到了吗 我绝杀了 Did you see that?Did you see that? I killed it!
让我们来多几次吧 Let's do it a hundred more times.
-要是能打成这样 我爸爸就会来看我的比赛了 -发生什么事了 -If I hit like that, my dad's gonna start coming to my games.-What's going on here?
吉姆刚教会我怎么让那扔球手成为我的手下败将 Jim just taught me how to make the pitcher my bitch.
我弟弟才不需要你教他怎么打球 My brother doesn't need you to teach him how to hit!
行 那你要做给他看看吗 Okay. You wanna show him how to do it?
让我们开开眼界 Let's see what you got.
我不需要向你证明什么 傻逼 I don't need to prove anything to you, d-bag.
戴尔 他刚刚是叫我傻逼吗 Dale, did he really just call me a d-bag?
这屎事来真的了 This shit just got real.
我要杀了你 I'm gonna kill you.
行啊 我们看看 Okay, we'll see.
戴好你的拳套 先保护好自己吧 Let's get your gloves up. Face protected.
打趴他 布兰登 Kick his ass, Brendan!
-什么 -打趴他 吉姆 - What's that? - Kick his ass, Jim!
看吧 你要盯着你的目标 You see, you gotta look at your target.
要不要我放张你家保姆的照片在我脸上 那样你会看着我了 哈 How about I put a picture of your babysitter on my face? Will you look at it then? Huh?
噢 来啊 来啊 Oh, yeah, yeah.
别把她扯进来 Just leave her out of this!
用你的右手 那样你会打得好一点 对吧 Use your right hand. You're better with that one.
好了 好了 嘭 All right, all right. Boom.
你看起来很生气哦 You seem pissed at me.
你打了我 You just hit me!
不 在那之前 再之前 我们第一次见面那时候 No! Before that. Before that, like when we first met.
我认为我妈妈能找到更好的 Just think that my mom could do better.
首先 她找不到更好的 First of all, she can't do better.
因为没人会比我好 Because no one's better than me.
我是最好的 I am the greatest.
其次 我觉得你想要保护你妈妈这点很好 Secondly, I think it's nice that you wanna protect your mommy.
哇哦 哇哦 冷静一下 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Calm down.
但那样挺好 说明你还是有两下子的 That was good though.
听着 要成为一个男人 不是有窝火的事情你就可以生气或者埋怨 Showing a little something in there. Listen, being a man ain't about pissing and moaning anytime something's bothering you.
而是要专注处理你正在面临的事情 It's about dealing with what's in front of you.
所以 干倒我吧 So deal with me.
你还好吗 Are you okay?
这招很损 That was sneaky.
但我还好 But I'm fine
吉宝 这是不是说明了我现在是一个男人了 Does that make me a man now, Jimbo?
不是 No
问我还好吗这一句 Asking me if I was okay,
是一个开始 that was a start.
是啊 这挺好的 但我还不知道你们是一起工作的 但也说得通了 Yeah, that's great. Didn't know you guys worked out together, but it makes sense.
那然后呢 And then what happened?
投球手扔球过来 然后我就把球打到十里开外了 The bowler threw it, and I hit it like a mile away.
是啊 然后吉姆教我怎么搏击 Yeah. And then Jim taught me how to box.
5分钟后 我基本上算是打倒了他 And after 5 minutes, I basically knocked him out.
耶 Yes!
好吧 他人还挺好的 Well, that was nice of him.
他们来这次旅行 也相处得挺不错的 Kind of worked out well, they came on this trip.
是的 Yes, it did.
劳伦 你穿这条裙子实在太火辣了 我必须要买来送给你 Lauren, you looked so hot in this dress, I had to buy it for you.
还有 我说买的意思 其实是偷 And by "Buy," I mean "Steal."
希望你在我的假期里过得愉快 I hope you're having fun on my vacation
爸爸 你是梳了头吗 Dad. Did you comb your hair?
不是啊 我觉得是洗完澡就变这样了 No. Got out of the shower like this, I guess.
你还洗了澡 You took a shower?
我洗啦 我有权利洗澡吧 我的天 I shower! I'm allowed to shower. My God
-自从我们来到这儿我还没洗过澡 -我知道 你好臭 但我喜欢 - I haven't taken a shower since we got here.- I know. You stink. I love it.
是的 我臭臭 Yeah, I stink bad.
很臭臭 Very bad
是啊 非常臭臭 你闻起来超级恶心的 Yeah, you stink real bad. Your breath smells terrible.
劳伦在哪 Where is Lauren?
你看妈妈 Look at Mom.
哇哦 Wow
爸爸 说话啊 Dad say something
是 是 你看起来非常非常美 Yes, yes. You look very, very nice.
噢 好吧 谢谢 你洗过澡啦 Oh, well, thank you. You showered.
难道你们都觉得我是不洗澡的男人吗 我经常洗澡好吗 Am I really known as the non-shower guy?I shower all the time, guys.
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen
这是我们在 It's the final night
非洲的混合家庭体验 of our blended family experience
的最后一晚 Here in Africa
我们的传统是邀请孩子们去泳池区域 Our tradition is to invite the kiddies to the pool area
因为我们有著名的 for our famous kids-only
仅供孩子的冒险大餐 和十英尺的巧克力雨林喷泉 safari buffet and 10-foot chocolate rain forest fountain!
-我们能去吗 爸爸 -行 去吧 但是要跟好你的姐姐 Can we go, Dad?-All right, go ahead. Stay with you sisters though.
我儿子是个巧克力疯 My boy here's a chocoholic.
你得看好了 You better watch out.
不然他就这样跳进去 出来就变成一个帅气的美国黑奴 Or he's gonna jump in and come out looking like a handsome Hershey bar.
你看到了吗 Did you see that?
我让他笑了 I made him smile.
他想不笑可是却忍不住 He tried not to but he couldn't help himself.
我们会组成一个很棒的家庭 We're gonna be a great family.
是的 我们会的 Yes, we are.
我爱你 Love you.
小的们都走了 All of the little ones have gone.
今晚 餐厅就只有 Tonight the dining room is:
大人们了 Adults only
是的 现在终于等到那一刻了 Yeah, now we're getting there.
混合爱人们都去舞厅吧 Let's have all you blended lovers on the dance floor.
这很疯狂 不是吗 It's crazy, huh?
这首歌 The song.
他把 辉煌 这个词 He took the word "Splendid"
换成了 混合 And replaced it with "Blended"
太机智了 还很押韵 So clever. It rhymes!
但是原来的词是 华丽 But, the real word is "Splendored."
那不应该是换成 搅拌机 So wouldn't it be "Blendored"?
你说神马 What's this now?
我只是随便说说而已 不好意思 什么 I'm just teasing, I do not listen
你准备好了吗，掐彼得里斯先生 Are you ready Mr. Ellaesunapedalista?
掐彼得里斯 好吧 "She is a rider" Okay
他记起来一点了 He got good
准备好什么 Ready for what?
你安排好的观星体验 His programming experience to see the stars
所以... So ...
掐彼得里斯太太 你愿意跟我一起去吗 Ms. Ellaesunapedalista, Would you like to join me?
噢 好啊 If
好的 Well
有一点远 It will be fun
好吧 谢谢你 Ok, thank you
我们到了 Here we are
二人烛光晚餐 Dinner for two
噢 这真是 Oh, if
这不错啊 It is good
如果是我肯定答应迪克 I must hand it to Dick,
他可能是这世上最浪漫的男人 is perhaps the most romantic man on the planet
是的 毫无疑问 Yeah, got the moves there's no doubt
我敢肯定他打算在这里跟珍求婚 I bet here was going to ask Jen to marry him
或许吧 Maybe
你早上要求的事情我们都可以做到 We were able to get everything you asked this morning
除了心形奶酪棒 Except the cheese sticks Heart Shaped
奶酪棒 Cheese Sticks??
这是你安排的吗 Your've started this?
我想再来一次 I wanted to do it again
回到第一次约会失败那天 On the first date fiasco
我会比那时候做得好 I'm better than that
它的意思是 Which means:
恋人渴望那几声温言絮语使灵魂交融 "Lovers long for the moment that makes their souls mingle
的那一刻 In a whisper
让这一刻成为你们的永恒 Let this be the time "
你午餐是吃了猪排 Did you eat pork chops with
加金枪鱼吗 Tuna for lunch?
是的 我是吃了那个 Yes, it is
我能感觉到 I could tell
不好意思 Apologies
我现在就去刷牙 萝莉啵啵里斯先生 I always brush my teeth Mr. Lolipopolis
我会一天刷两次 还有你刚刚是叫我萝莉啵啵里斯先生吗 I wash 2 times a day, And did you call me Lolipopolis?
其实是 西奥多波里斯 顺便告诉你一下 It is Theodopolis, attesting
我知道 我只是开个小玩笑 I know, I just like to have fun
吉姆 弗里德曼 Jim Freedman
什么 What?
那很不错 That was good
这塔吐乐队怎么无处不在 How does appear Tatoo everywhere?
他们今天早上还在我的淋浴间 They were in my shower this morning
和他们一起也挺开心的 I also quite fun
她来了 噢 谢谢你 There it is, thank you very much
嘿 泡泡 屁股扭得不错 但你怎么长了根尾巴 Good job with Bubbles that queue
这碰杯是因为看看你 Health to meet you
不 说真的 看看你 The real you because
因为你这次真的在看着我了 You know me my this time
你 You ...
有最漂亮的 Have the most wonderful ...
孩子 Offspring
-谢谢你 -说真的 Thanks - Seriously
你是一个好妈妈 You're a good mother also
你也是一个很棒的 妈妈 You also
我认了 Thanks
泰勒周六有场加时赛 Tyler has a set of series on Saturday
是么 Yeah?
并且 Y. ..
我觉得 I believe that
真的是第一次 First
他不再那么畏惧了 he want to actually be completely trying
多亏了你 Thank you
告诉你的 额 他的爸爸 Tell your father ...
他陪他练得越多 他就会越自信 The more you work with it, feel more confident
只要他振作起来 就越可能将球击出去 And more will give increasingly to be there
嗯 好吧 Yeah, well ...
他爸爸对陪他训练不感兴趣 你知道的 If father was not very interested in that, you know?
因为要做到那样 他就必须出现 Because to do that you must be present, but
而他最不擅长这个了 He does
为了孩子你必须出现 You have to be present for your children
做一个可依赖的家长是会很枯燥 It should be boring as reliable a parent
我觉得这很有趣 很多人无法理解 但你能 I know that many people do not understand
我的意思是 But if your
为了你的孩子必须得付出百分百的时间 Your children must come first 100% of the time
没错 99% Absolutely, 99%
剩下的1%去做自己喜欢的事 And 1% use it for do what we want
啊 老天 God
我都快忘了自己想要一件东西的感觉了 I've forgotten what it is want something
我只是隐约记得 I vaguely remember
那感觉不错 It feels good
我做不到 I can not do this
我做不到 对不起 I can not, sorry
我真的 I really ...
不是你的问题 Are not you
我本以为我可以 但就是 I thought I could do it, it's just
这个也很抱歉 Sorry about that
没事 它们还是很棒 Yet it is amazing
对不起 我这样对你 I'm sorry I did that
他竟然没有吻你 Did He do not kissed IT?
他是个白痴 He's an idiot
但是 你必须得承认 Although you must recognize
猴子拉小提琴那部分 that monkeys playing violins and stuff ...
真的很搞笑 It's hilarious
我还是不敢相信我们都找到了好男人 I can not believe we found
但是却不能跟他们在一起 good types and we will not be with them
你要接吗 Are you going to answer that?
嗨 我现在不方便接电话 Hi, is not a good time now
我很爱你 A word with you both
【我接下来还会爱你至少一个半小时】 I am gonna make L word to you for at least an hour and a half.
好的 Ok
是我妈妈 That was my mom
她现在情况挺好的 She is doing good
好吧 我给了迪克一个机会 Ok, I'll give Dick another chance
给他机会做什么 让他不要孩子吗 Why?, Get rid of your children?
我要和他的孩子见面啦 I will know their children
你说的时候表情可不可以不要那么扭曲 You should try to say that without both contort your face
我要和他的孩子见面啦 I will know their children
好点了 Best
吉姆的事我感到很遗憾 Sorry about Jim
我也是 Me too
你为什么不吻她 哥们 Why do not you kiss her, man?
我不能 我只是 I could not
我害怕这是个错误 I was afraid that no right out
非洲都对你做了什么 What have I done?
一点都不疼 That does not hurt enough
我已经在尽力了 坐在那儿别动 I do the best I can, sit still
-我看上去漂亮吗 -你看上去很美 真的 Do I look pretty? - You look fantastic, if
耶 If
你看上去不错 You look good
谢谢 Thanks
你去哪 Where are you going?
我去和杰克约会 I'll go on a date with Jake
你怎么可能和他约会 他住在温哥华 How can you do that? He lives in Vancouver
你好啊 弗里德曼先生 Hello Mr. Freedman
你好 排骨人 Hi Skeletor
听着 确保要有足够的牛肉 说真的 她这周有选拔赛 Listen, I eat enough meat, has evidence this week
猪排 羊排 小牛肉 Pork chops, lamb,
-知道了 -就是这样 Understood - That is
编垃圾吗 Braids? Crooked?
-我不知道怎么 -你做的真差 I do not know - You're terrible
我们什么时候回来能再看到劳伦 So when returning to see Laurie?
你们之间肯定发生了什么 Something happened between you?
不 你疯了吗 我们没发生什么 No, are you crazy? Nothing happened
爸爸 别装了 我看到你看她的眼神 Dad going, I saw looked like
我也看到她看你的眼神 She also
这是不可否认的 你们都喜欢对方 Undeniably, you are infatuated each other
杰克 别插嘴 Jake, do not get
对不起啦先生 Sorry sir
难道你们除了看别人 Do not they have anything
怎么看对方就没有别的事要做吗 better to do than watch how people look?
而且 那我应该怎么做 What should I do?, Change all
改变我们以往的生活仅仅因为我爱她 our lives just because I'm in love with her?
太好了 Yes!
好浪漫 So romantic!
爱她就冒一次险 Take the risk
追她回来 Go for it!
我知道我让你觉得很困惑 I know you're confused
我只是必须弄清楚 I had to make
为了我老婆我女儿 For my wife and my daughters
为了你的孩子 还为了你 And for your children and for you
所以让我们坦诚相待 I just do not have lies
上次在猫头鹰餐厅是我 It was I who drank your beer
喝了你的啤酒 In Hooters
我不知道我为什么那么做 我在那可以喝免费啤酒 And you know why I did it?, I get beer Free trip so ...
我只是紧张了 I just panicked
有事吗 Yeah?
这里是323号，对吗 It is the 323, right?
是啊 If
我找劳伦 Lauren was looking for
我也是 You and me too
吉姆 Jim!
棒球手 看看你 Boy, look at you!
我妈不在家 Mom is not home
这是我爸 This is my father
马克 Mark
对 你是谁 Yeah, who are you?
吉姆 那次旅行的那个酷男 Jim, the great type of safari
你想跟我一起投球吗 Want rodar me some balls?
我相信你爸爸会和你一起玩的 Surely your father wants do that with you
不 他不愿意的 Not to
不不 我愿意 去拿你的球棒 棒球手 No, no, go get your bat boy
嘿 我们可以一起玩 Hey, we can all play
我去拿布兰登的棒球手套 他从来没用过 Brendan has an extra glove never use it
那孩子 一直在讲非洲之旅 He has not stopped talking that trip to Africa
你的孩子很棒 Your children are amazing
是啊 If
所以我和劳伦 一直在 你知道的 尽力复合 So it is that Lauren and I tried make things work again
为了他们 For them
我不知道这事 I did not know that
这样啊 If
我会告诉她你来过 I'll tell you came
我会把这束花放在卧室 I will put these in the Room
就在我们的爱床旁边 Next to where we make love
好吧 Ok
帮我跟泰勒说拜拜 Tell Tyler to say goodbye
吉姆去哪 Where does Jim?
他有事做吧 我猜 Change your mind, I guess
那你还会陪我玩么 Can we play the two, then?
会啊 当 If course
噢 电话救了我 I except the hood
嘿，怎么了 Hello how are you?
嗨 Hello
噢 嗨 Hello
你这是要拍GQ杂志封面吗 Will they do a photo shoot GQ here?
哦 不是的 我只是 Oh no, I'm just ...
放松一下 Chillin
对不起我这么久才回来 Sorry it took me long
谢谢你照看孩子 But thanks for caring for children
现在我回来了 我想你也有其他事要做 所以 I finished and I guess you have somewhere to go so ...
你怎么总是能看起来那么美 How is it that you always see so well?
是吗 Yeah?
如果是说我三天没洗头的话 真感谢你注意到了 I have not washed my hair in three days, thanks for noticing
你真幽默 You're so funny
我很难想象你会跟其他人在一起 It's hard for me to imagine with someone else
是么 Really?
那对你来说 当时想象你自己背叛我 It was not so hard to imagine you same with someone else
应该也不难吧 When I cheated
不管我说什么你总是扯到那个 No matter what I always say salts with that
我说 嘿 看看那栋房子 You might say, "Hey look at that house"
然后你就会说 我们以前住那种房子的时候 你背叛了我 And you say, "We lived in a home when I cheated "
或者我说 帮我递一下拿瓶腌黄瓜 你就会说 Or you could say, "Pass the pickle" And you say
一些关于腌黄瓜和你背叛的事 Something about the Gherkin and I cheated
和你一起说笑真的很有趣 劳伦 It's fun to laugh with you again, Lauren
我们应该一直这么下去 We should do that all along
你带花来了 Did you bring flowers?
是的 If
你为什么要带花来 Why did you bring flowers?
因为鲜花赠美人 Because you deserve flowers
劳伦 你去非洲的时候 我想了很多 Lauren, when you go to Africa,i think much
你和我一起经历了那么多事 You and I have so much history together
-还有两个孩子 -还有一个接待员 Two children - A receptionist
劳伦 我是犯了一次错 Listen, I made a mistake!
我知道的都至少有四次 At least four errors of which I am aware
那也是犯过 那是过去式 "I made", past tense
我以前是个混蛋 He was a jerk
劳伦 Lauren
你是我生命中最美好的事物 You're the best thing in my life
你和孩子们都是 You and the kids
并且孩子也需要父亲 And the kids need their parents
他们是需要父亲 This is
我知道我是一个合格的父亲 I know I'm a good father
我只是需要时间去证明 I just need to prove it
噢 你可以啊 现在不算晚 You can do it, it is not too late
那这个呢 Is it too late ...
会晚吗 For this?
你在做什么 What are you doing?
我回来了 宝贝 I'm coming home, baby
马克 离我远点 Mark, stay away
你不住这里了 You do not live here anymore
是因为其他人吗 Is there anyone else?
不是 而且这也不关你事 No and it does not concern you anyway
你不是想做个好爸爸吗 Interested in being a good parent?
泰勒周六有场比赛 你去啊 Tyler has a game on Saturday, go see
爸爸 Daddy?
不好意思 我不想把你吵醒的 Apology not want to wake
睡觉之前我和妈妈讲过话了 I was talking to mom before sleep
恩 Y. ..
她说 She said that
她有许多事要做 I had many things to do
这样吗 Yeah?
是的 所以 If, then ...
她可能不能那么经常呆在这了 May no longer be able to be here a while
好吧 Ok
她还说你会把我的零花钱增加到5美元 He also said he You will increase my counter for $ 5
她很慷慨 It is very generous
我只是 I just ...
我不想她离开我 I do not want to disappear
宝贝 Affection
她不会离开你 She never disappear
永远不会 Never, ever
你可以让她走 但是她永远都在这里 You can let her go, she will always be here
我也会一直陪着你 我向你保证 And I'll always be here, I promise
还有就是 Certainly
妈妈喜欢那趟非洲之旅 Mom loved the trip Africa
我也是 Me too
我很想她 I missed her
你妈妈是最棒的 Your mother was the best
我说的是劳伦 I mean Lauren
我也是 Me too
我们不需要让她走 对吗 Do not let go too, right?
过来 Come here
布兰登 不要忘了我会接你去童子军那 Brendan do not forget that you gather to go to scouts
所以不用乘巴士回家了 So do not take the bus home
谢谢你让所有人都知道我还是一个童子军 妈妈 Thanks for telling everyone that still in scouts, Mom
你是个好孩子 要为你自己骄傲 You're a good boy, Be proud of who you are
你敢说一个字你就死定了 Say the word and you're dead
你竟然开着小型房车 Driving a minivan
是迪克的 It's Dick
我要去帮西奥多波里斯团队买卫生纸 I'm going to buy toilet paper Tim Theodopolis
当团队需要的时候 队长夫人就会去买回来 还有 相信我 When Tim needed, the captain goes with him and believe me
这些孩子就没停过拉屎 These children never stop going to the bathroom
孩子需要拉屎 Children in need
需要我帮你从沃尔玛带点东西吗 Need some ... Wal-Mart?
不用 I'm fine
家长会上见 See you at the parent meeting
好的 小狐狸 Ok, Foxy
这样很棒 亲爱的 This is so good, honey
这就是家庭 This is family
这对我来说也很有趣 This is fun for me
做得好啊 爸爸 Well done, Dad
下一个是23号 击球手 Now the batter with number 23
泰勒 雷诺兹 Tyler Reynolds
嘿 这可不友善 Hey that's not nice
闭嘴 那个孩子太糟糕了 Shut up, that child is terrible
泰勒加油 Let Tyler!
特雷西 Tracy!
你的头怎么也来了 What makes your head here?
一振 Strike 1!
马克没来我表示很抱歉 Sorry Mike did not come
他就是不能明白这个道理 I do not understand your
你的孩子永远都是第一位并且需要花费百分百的时间 children have first to be 100% of the time
好吧 99%吧 1%留给你自己 Well 99% and you're left with 1% for you
这真是好消息啊 That's good news
不管怎么样 你必须得为了你的孩子现身 No matter what, you must be there for your children
像他那样 As
没事 泰勒 加油 棒球手 Let Tyler, Big Time
你看起来很棒 Looking good there!
抬高你的肘部 Raise your elbow
抬肘 Elbow up
不可思议 Incredible
加油 泰勒 Let Tyler
二振 Strike 2
没事 没事 All right, all right!
做得好 Nice turn
再慢一点 Turn down the speed a little
膝部弯曲 Bend those knees
注意重心 好吗 And rock, ok?
放轻松 就这样 Take it easy, that's
抬高手肘 高点 再高一点 Upload, the higher
记住 那个眼神 Remember, look bad
那个胡须小子害怕了 The mustache was frightened
泰勒 加油 Let Tyler!
深呼吸 Take them deep.
你做到了 You gave!
跑 泰勒 跑 Tyler Run! Run!
继续跑 兄弟 跑 Follows, we will
快跑 Come on!
不要犹豫 加油 快跑 Go on, come on, do not stop
跑向我 棒球手 Come to my
泰勒加油 Go ahead, Tyler
我们要回到本垒了 宝贝 Come home, friend
要回到本垒了 Let's go home!
安全上垒 A safe!
你相信奇迹会发生么 Do you believe in miracles?
那才是我弟弟 That's my brother!
谢谢你 Thank you.
这才是你的真本事 棒球手 You did good, Big Time
我的天哪 Oh my God
你在做什么 What are you doing?
我爱你 I love you!
那实在是太棒了 That was amazing
我很抱歉这样出现 我那天去了你家 I was so sorry. to appear in your house the other day and
我看见泰勒想要练习的时候 你前夫拒绝了他 I saw your ex husband say no to Tyler when he wanted to practice
我知道你们正在试图复合 但我真的很伤心 I know you try to fix you but things that broke my heart
我们没有复合 那永远不可能 We're not fixing anything, that will never happen
真的么 Really?
你去我家做什么 What are you doing in my house?
我去跟你说 I went on to say that
我觉得现在可以了 I think it's fine now
什么可以了 Ok, what else?
我们可以拥有那珍贵的1%的时间 That's okay to have one of those very rare moments
去寻找我们想要的东西 Where to get what we want
那我们想要什么 What do we want?
你知道我们想要什么 You know what we want
是啊 If
我觉得孩子们也想要 I think the guys also want
肯定没有我那么急切 小塌肩 Not as much as I, small shoulders
等等 Waiting
我不能这么做 I can not do this
你在和我开玩笑吗 You are kidding
必须是啊 我得报复你在非洲对我做的事 Sure, I had to take revenge at Africa
来吧 Come here
你知道吗 You know what?
你妈妈很性感 Your mom is sexy
你爸爸也很性感 Your dad is also
啊不是 不是性感 No sexy
来吧 我得给你好好按摩 Come on you deserve a massage.